Two weeks ago, WWE champion AJ Styles was booked to defend his title against one opponent at the upcoming Fastlane pay-per-view. Then he punched some guys while he was supposed to be providing color commentary. Now, AJ must put the WWE championship on the line against four other wrestlers. He’ll tell us how he feels about his atrocious decision-making tonight on SmackDown.
Intro: Styles walks to the ring for his advertised one-on-one interview. The audience chants his name before a question is asked. He’s been the WWE champion for months, yet still exudes an underdog charisma that’s easy to support.
– Renee Young points out that Styles is at an incredible disadvantage at Fastlane, and asks if he still feels that he controls his destiny heading into WrestleMania. AJ claims he can beat anyone, and if that sounds cocky, he’s been backing it up all his life. He clarifies that he doesn’t have to be pinned or submitted to lose his championship. Would love to see this stipulation in MMA or boxing.
– More boos than cheers for Dolph Ziggler when Styles mentions him. That’s not positive coming out of his main-event win last week.
– Baron Corbin interrupts Styles to boast that he’s going to take his title. Kevin Owens walks out to boast that he’ll powerbomb Styles through a table. He stupidly brags about beating up Corbin at the beginning of last week’s show. Corbin smartly brags about beating Owens in their match during last week’s show.
– Styles makes a joke about Owens getting the boil (Sami Zayn) lanced off his back. No one gets it. When he explains the joke, 12 people laugh. The writing isn’t helping Owens or Styles here.
– Shane McMahon enters the conversation to say that talk isn’t what anyone came to hear (“…tonight in Phoenix, Arizona!”). So why book your live program to start with an in-ring interview? McMahon makes a main-event match between Styles and Corbin. He adds to Owens’ conspiracy theory by booking Owens against Dolph Ziggler. Right now.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens
– Three dropkicks from Ziggler in the first three minutes of the match. Corey Graves says that dumping the U.S. championship and going home for seven weeks was exactly what Dolph needed to do to rejuvenate his career. Maybe Styles should throw away the WWE title and go home for the next month. Should do wonders for his career.
– One day, Owens will hit his top-rope senton. But it will not be tonight.
– Some really good exchanges as this match picks up after break. Both men sell like champs, and Ziggler gets a believable near-fall after a Zig Zag. He looks set to finish off Owens until Zayn’s music hits, and Sami dashes toward the ring. Ziggler prepares to cut Zayn off at the pass, but gets knocked silly from behind by an Owens superkick. Is the Sami and Kevin Show back on the air?
Result: Kevin Owens pinned Dolph Ziggler after a superkick.
Grade: B
– Jinder Mahal announces a startling discovery. He just unlocked the secret to wrestling a three-star match?
– No, the bombshell is that Roode ranked himself #1 on his SmackDown Top 10 List ballot. Pretty sure that no one would sign their own submissions, if we’re treating this realistically. Mahal claims that Roode left the Maharaja and Orton off his list.
– Roode walks out to deny that the Top 10 List ballot was his submission. Indeed, no one is putting Zack Ryder in their Top 10. He makes a compelling point in stating that Mahal is trying to make him so paranoid about Orton attacking him that Roode will lose focus on retaining his championship. But then he loses the plot …
Quotable: “I never said that.” – Bobby Roode on whether he’s better than Randy Orton.
– Roode then denies being scared of Orton. He sounds like a gutless politician mildly denying accusations on a Sunday roundtable show. WWE is stripping Roode’s character of its most attractive elements. No one cheers the guy because he’s the most humble man in the room.
– Orton walks out to get in Roode’s face. Both men quickly turn their attention to Mahal, knocking him from the ring. As Roode faces off with Sunil Singh, Orton tries to RKO him outta nowhere. Roode shoves him away, then lands a Glorious DDT. He tells Orton that he wasn’t going to get him twice. Mahal sneaks back inside the ring to smash Roode with the Khallas.
– Daniel Bryan watches a backstage monitor while pensively stroking his beard. He suggests that Roode defend the title at Fastlane against Mahal, the man who’s gotten the better of him two weeks in a row. McMahon retorts that everyone wants to see Roode vs. Orton, given that Orton tried to wrestle the champion in last week’s U.S. Open Challenge. Huh? That does not make sense.
– McMahon books Roode and Orton for Fastlane. Bryan gives a snarky reply and walks away.
Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, and Naomi vs. The Riott Squad
– Naomi rocks a neon-green wig during her entrance, which is insanely noticeable. The announce team informs us that, after Charlotte beat Ruby Riott’s two stable-mates and told the announce team that she had one more to go, Ruby requested this six-woman match tonight. That’s a clever way to avoid losing a singles match.
– Riott declines Flair’s offer to start the match against her. Charlotte tangles instead with Sarah Logan, who later throws some serious punches that catch air against Naomi. While they missed their target, her strikes looked better than those thrown by almost anyone else on the roster (male or female).
– Naomi executes a bulldog into the turnbuckle and a split-legged moonsault on Liv Morgan. When her offense clicks, it looks great.
– After her team sells a few kicks that didn’t come close to connecting, Riott nails Lynch with a snappy Riott Kick, securing her squad a much-needed win.
Result: The Riott Squad beat Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, and Naomi when Ruby Riott pinned Lynch following a Riott Kick.
Grade: B-
– Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn make up tentatively like lovers after a quarrel. Sami tells Kevin he owes him for helping to get up where he belongs (main-eventing pay-per-views and receiving title shots). He is ready to be Owens’ guardian angel again. Such a sweet boy. This make-up session would have been better timed if it occurred last week on the eve of Valentine’s Day.
– Zayn maps out a battle plan for Fastlane that involves Kevin and Sami taking out their competition. When their opponents are defeated, Zayn promises, he will do the right thing.
Quotable: “I will lay down for you in the center of that ring.” – Sami Zayn to a hesitant Kevin Owens, before the two men share a deep embrace.
The New Day vs. Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin
– The winners of this match receive a SmackDown tag team championship shot against the Usos at Fastlane. We’re seeing this match-up again because the referee missed a Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin tag during their bout last week, allowing the New Day to take advantage and score the win.
– Whoever’s running the on-screen word graphics goes nuts as Big E yells his team’s entrance preamble. New Day’s persona is cartoonish enough to lend itself to that visual presentation.
– That impressive opening sequence between Gable and Xavier Woods makes you realize how advanced their cardio must be. When Woods tags out, Gable suplexes Big E with an overhead belly-to-belly. Gable is a special athlete who’s already effective on the microphone. Regardless of height, he has potential as a main eventer.
– Between his corny “SmackDown Liv” joke during the women’s match and Byron Saxton schooling him on the meaning of sports entertainment, it’s been a rough second hour for Graves. Saxton should turn up the heat by only referring to him as “Gravey”, Percy Watson’s preferred moniker for Graves in NXT.
– Gable and Benjamin hit their top-rope reverse bulldog/powerbomb maneuver, but Kofi Kingston’s interminable interference distracts the referee long enough for Woods to make the save. Xavier then hits a shining wizard kick to a seated Benjamin for the anticlimactic win.
Result: The New Day beat Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin when Xavier Woods pinned Benjamin after a shining wizard. The New Day earns a SmackDown tag team championship match against The Usos at Fastlane.
Grade: B-
– As New Day tosses pancakes to the crowd, the Bludgeon Brothers make their full entrance. Erick Rowan turns toward the trio; Luke Harper calmly redirects his partner’s attention toward the ring.
– In a backstage video, Charlotte Flair offers to put up her SmackDown championship for a chance to fight Ruby Riott. Smooth non-negotiating by Riott.
The Bludgeon Brothers vs. Two Guys
– Notwithstanding my weekly tirade against WWE failing to name the Bludgeon Brothers’ opponents, it was funny to watch them go wide-eyed with fear, neither man wanting to start the match. The Bludgeon Brothers resolve this impasse by kicking the crap out of both of them. I’ll refer to the jobbers as Endless, Nameless after that noisy Wildhearts album.
– Hellacious slam sequence by the Bludgeon Bros outside the ring. They pick up their opponents, slam them against each other, Harper powerslams one guy, Rowan bodyslams the other guy on top of him, then slams his own partner onto both of them. Rowan switches it up by squashing both guys with a running splash.
Result: The Bludgeon Brothers beat Endless, Nameless when Erick Rowan pinned the blond dude after a double crucifix bomb. Props to Rowan for pinning their opponent by grabbing his jaw.
Grade: C-
– Riott plays coy on a handheld video, telling Charlotte she’s only getting a singles match if she brings her championship to Fastlane. Feels like they should have showed this video first.
– WWE broadcasts a Shinsuke Nakamura video package so we remember he still works here. The Royal Rumble winner has been conspicuous by his absence these last two weeks. Let’s see if they line up a Fastlane opponent for him.
– Tom Phillips announces that Bryan booked a Flair vs. Riott title match for Fastlane. In unrelated news, someone made the unsavory Phillips text messages publicized last year into the primary photo for his Google search. Not a cute look.
– We just watched approximately five minutes of commercials following AJ’s ring entrance. That is smart planning by WWE to avoid interrupting SmackDown’s main event.
WWE Champion AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin (non-title)
– Update: It was not smart planning. SmackDown went to break right after Corbin hit his chokeslam-backbreaker on Styles outside the ring. Don’t tell me they’re trying to avoid giving this match away. WWE television gives nearly all matches away.
– Regardless of the lunkheaded production here, Styles sells his tail off for Corbin on a cyclonic Deep Six. Corbin also capably sells (especially on Styles’ sliding knee along the apron), an underappreciated facet of the big man’s skillset.
– In a stellar sequence, Corbin hurls Styles backwards over the announce table. AJ back-somersaults to land on his feet, springs onto the ring apron, and cracks Corbin with a Phenomenal Forearm, getting a near-fall.
– Corbin looks strong in kicking out after that first Phenomenal Forearm, then countering the Calf Crusher. But AJ belts Corbin in the mush while the big man talks trash, and hits a second Phenomenal Forearm to seal the victory.
Result: AJ Styles pinned Baron Corbin after a Phenomenal Forearm.
Grade: B+
Zayn and Owens hit the ring during a replay to blindside Styles. As KO clears the announce table, Corbin seizes and Deep Sixes Zayn. Owens gets the same treatment. Styles looked outstanding tonight, while Corbin gave the impression that he can hold his own at the main-event level.
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