But I remain undeterred. I also remain unable to actually manage my time effectively, as it’s less than a week before E3 and I still haven’t written a follow-up article. So here’s the sequel that nobody asked for, not even my editor: 8 Left Field Predictions For E3 2019. Fingers crossed some of these actually come true.
1. Apex Legends To Partner With Archie Comics
It was an inevitability, when you really think about it. With Fortnite courting the favour of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and PUBG basically settling for a collaboration with the Suicide Squad movie, two years after the film came out, it falls to Apex Legends to foster a comic-book inspired partnership that will blow them both out of the water.
During the EA Play event, Respawn Entertainment will announce they’ve partnered with Archie Comics to bring the teenage heartthrob Archie himself to the Frontier. No, not the guy from Riverdale who gets attacked by bears: the real OG. No idea on how they’ll affect gameplay, but we reckon Archie’s ultimate will see The Punisher appear and just take out anyone in the area.
Tell me you wouldn’t want to see this, you absolute cowards. I dare you.
2. Dormant Series To Be Revived Via Loot Box Opening
Off the top of your head, you could probably think of about five gaming franchises that could do with a revival. Here’s my quick five: Bushido Blade, Bully, Super Monkey Ball, F-Zero and Burnout. Lot of B’s in that list, but anyway, you get my point. There’s a lot of games out there that developers aren’t doing anything with.
Well, because it’s 2019 and you can’t escape the bloody things, all of the gaming industry will come together to stick all these franchises into a big loot box, and whichever game comes out will get a new instalment. The world might get lucky and we’ll receive a new Splinter Cell, or a new Onimusha game, or we’ll be subjected to the idea of a new Gex the Gecko. I guess that’s the gamble you take with loot boxes, after all.
3. Ubisoft To Mention “Brexit” And “Apolitical” During The Same Conference
In a move that could be described as “having your cake and eating it too”, Ubisoft are going to walk the tightrope of using Brexit as the backdrop of one video game, while also claiming to be apolitical with another couple of video games, during the same conference. It’ll be the sort of tonal shift that’ll give you whiplash.
The recently leaked, then subsequently confirmed Watch Dogs Legion will be set in a post-Brexit London, which caused fortunes and politics to completely change. Sounds good so far, but the conference will also likely see more footage of Ghost Recon: Breakpoint and The Division 2, two games that are supposedly apolitical despite the fact one is about drone technology and how it’ll affect global powers, while the other wants you to retake Washington D.C. and ultimately try to restore America.
Side note: it’s honestly really interesting that the Tom Clancy games have been given this label of apolitical while Ubisoft’s original works like Watch Dogs are free to broach current political affairs with no issue. Whether or not you agree with his views, Tom Clancy himself never shied away from political opinion, so why do the games that bear his brand? Food for thought.
4. Google Announce The Quiet Man 2 As A Stadia Exclusive
Google recently announced that they’d be hosting their own brief showcase event before E3 called Stadia Connect. During the event, Google will outline their launch strategy, along with pricing and the overall games line-up. With Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and Doom: Eternal already confirmed, speculation is abound of what else will be supported.
Well, have I got the killer prediction for you: Square Enix will reveal that they’ll be bringing 2018’s worst game The Quiet Man to the Stadia, and that they’ve greenlit a sequel that’ll be a Stadia exclusive. Titled The Quiet Man 2: Electric Boogaloo, you’ll control the same weirdo from the first game as he batters goons in an attempt to save the local rec center. Yes, that’s a tired joke, but The Quiet Man was a tiring game.
5. Internet Will Forgive And Forget A Mistake
File this prediction under heartwarming: during long hours and extensive coverage, a gaming journalist will make a slight, but honest mistake, and the internet at large will actually forgive them, which is just amazing. Aren’t we all blessed to live in a world where everyone gets along?
During the reveal of Fable 4, which has supposedly been leaked ahead of time, one journalist (probably me because I’ve now invoked it) will mistakenly refer to the game’s reported new world as Albion. However, instead of widespread derision, the gaming community will unite, because they understand that covering E3 is a difficult and stressful period in the gaming industry calendar, and we’re all just trying our best.
Like I said, left-field predictions.
6. Netflix Introduce Interactive Comedy Specials
One of the more surprising bits of news in the lead-up to E3 was the announcement that Netflix would be holding a panel, with your boy Geoff Keighley hosting, that’d be focused on how they adapt their original programming into video games, with Stranger Things being seen as the start of a long running trend.
But Netflix have gamified their own entertainment already, with programming like You vs Wild and Black Mirror: Bandersnatch, so I predict that Netflix will announce Interactive Comedy Specials. As a random member of the audience, you can make the decision to sit in silence or shout out some dumbass heckle, only to get verbally wrecked by whoever is on stage. Bonus prediction: subscriptions to Netflix to increase by 1000% because of this news.
7. Geoff Keighley Hosts The Game Awards Pre-Show
Speaking of your boy and ours, Geoff Keighley will kick off the hype train to his own personal gaming showcase, The Game Awards, by hosting his own The Game Awards Pre-Show during E3 season. Yes, I’m saying that the pre-show will last for the entire six months between now and The Game Awards 2019.
If you’re wondering how Geoff can occupy six months worth of content for a pre-show, the lengthy broadcast will include wall-to-wall Death Stranding coverage, Geoff Keighley constantly reiterating how he’s best mates with Hideo Kojima, along with, yes, you guessed it, a rogue Josef Fares swearing at the camera.
8. Everyone To Announce Their Own Subscription Service
Another rumour that’s been doing the rounds ahead of E3 is that Ubisoft will announce their own game streaming service, similar to that of Xbox Game Pass or EA Access. With Xbox Game Pass now also confirmed to be coming to the PC, we’re predicting that every publisher under the sun will announce their own service.
Devolver will announce one that actually sounds interesting, because it’ll give you a constant supply of enjoyable indie games that more people should be talking about, while Activision will offer a subscription that just gives you monthly loot boxes in Overwatch and Call of Duty. Bethesda will offer one too, except they’ll pay you to play Fallout 76.
And that’s the list of predictions. Feel free to tell us they’re terrible in the comments below. Do you have any of your own predictions, and is it Lycans? Let us know!