Another year, another WrestleMania with more memorable moments than you could shake a montage at. While there were many misses, WrestleMania 33, by and large, hit the target and already surpassed WrestleMania 32 while only halfway through the card, which was lucky
An evening of two halves, WrestleMania 33’s first half was excellent, captivating the audience and throwing plenty of twists and some superb wrestling into the mix. It almost worked too well – the crowd seemed utterly spent. It didn’t help that Pitbull was there, because Pitbull ruins everything pure in this world.
Let’s look back at the results from WrestleMania 33 and bring you our verdict on what went down.
AJ Styles def. Shane McMahon
Match of the night? Many will point to the return of The Hardy Boyz later in the night for the spectacle, but from a wrestling viewpoint this surprised as many people as we thought it might.
Shane has never been much of a technical wrestler, but with Styles carrying him throughout, he put on his best performance in a WWE ring to date. There were no “postcard” moments that WWE will repeat over and over again in promotional material years from now, but it was solid, convincing storytelling with some meat on its bones.
Styles came out on top, which was the right call. Having such an even match with Shane doesn’t harm his reputation at all. In fact, if anything, it enhances it by showing how he can make even the roughest of talents shine when in the ring with him.
Winner: AJ Styles
Grade: A
United States Championship Match
Kevin Owens def. Chris Jericho (c)
Chris Jericho seems like he could do this thing for another decade. He has slowed down in the ring, that’s for sure, but he’s found a way to make up for it with deeper storytelling when between the ropes. He and Owens put on a great match that’s only downfall was the championship attached to it.
Almost an afterthought, the United States Championship has little to no prestige left in it. The rivalry at the heart of the match felt infinitely more interesting with the belt used more as a prop than a reward. With Jericho no seemingly taking a break from WWE after one of, if not the, greatest runs in his career, it’s up to Kevin Owens to drag the title back to relevancy and get back the KO we saw when he shocked the world on his main roster debut.
Winner: Kevin Owens
Grade: B
Raw Women’s Championship Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match
Bayley (c) def. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
A match that felt like it needed five more minutes to really convince, this was short but sweet. There was an interesting dynamic between Charlotte, Sasha, and Bayley as they took down Nia early and even had flashes of The Shield about them when they performed a triple powerbomb on the Samoan.
Sasha and Charlotte went at it next with the former being eliminated after an unconvincing meeting with a half-exposed turnbuckle. The confrontation between she and Bayley is clearly being saved for down the road as there was no tension between the pair as might have been expected. Bayley struggled to hold her own against Charlotte and looked technically out of her depth. After delivering a Randy Savage elbow, she retained. Hopefully this will put an end to her being the female version of Rey Mysterio during his world title run.
Winner: Bayley
Grade: C+
Raw Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Ladder Match
The Hardy Boyz def. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c), Cesaro & Sheamus and Enzo Amore & Big Cass
Arguably the most popular tag team in the history of wrestling are back in WWE, and what a way to return. The New Day’s involvement was genius, tricking some into thinking they would be getting involved. As soon as The Hardy Boyz’ music hit, though, the crowd became broken.
Their moves were a little slower, but that didn’t matter to anyone in attendance. Even if it Jeff and Matt’s show, the rest of the teams more than held their own with some great spots, especially Sheamus and Cesaro with the Beats of the Swing. The pair were also on the receiving end of a Swanton Bomb from a ladder, allowing Matt to ascend to the titles and cap off the best WrestleMania return in history. The only complaint you could have is that it was over too soon.
Winner: The Hardy Boyz
Grade: A
Mixed Tag Team Match
John Cena & Nikki Bella def. The Miz & Maryse
Cringeworthy proposal aside, this served as another reminder to everyone of just how great The Miz is. A far cry from the main event the pair shared at WrestleMania 27, John Cena and The Miz squaring off was electric, helped by the crowd being putty in the hands of the latter.
Cena barely even got in any offense and the women hardly touched each other, which made the Cena comeback an inevitably. Pinning both Maryse and The Miz at the same time, Nikki and Cena came out victorious before Cena showed he is a technical wrestling wizard by pulling a ring out of his jorts and dropping to one knee. Going to be great to watch this back on Total Divas.
Winner: Cena & Nikki
Grade: B-
Non-Sanctioned Match
Seth Rollins def. Triple H
After the emotions of the last two matches, the crowd took a long time to warm up to this one. They never really got into full voice, but were behind Rollins throughout. He sold his knee “injury” like a champ and looked so comfortable on it that I’m beginning to question if he was ever legitimately injured to begin with.
A No-DQ match in everything but name, Rollins vs. Haitch never really took advantage of its stipulation until its closing moments. Samoa Joe not getting a run-out at WrestleMania is disappointing, but surely there are big plans for him down the road. After making Haitch accidentally send his wife through a table, Rollins delivered a Pedigree to end the rivalry. It would have been nice to see the Curb Stomp come out of retirement, but hey, we’ll always have the memories.
Winner: Rollins
Grade: B
WWE Championship Match
Randy Orton def. Bray Wyatt (c)
What a waste. This might go down as one of the biggest missed opportunities in any WrestleMania. The story between the pair, something that has been building for months and months in one of the best examples of what Smackdown Live is about, culminated in an instantly forgettable match that couldn’t be saved by Hellraiser projections on the ring. And it’s all down to Orton.
Being one of the most decorated wrestlers of all-time doesn’t disguise the fact that Orton is too safe and predictable in the ring. He wrestles at a tempo that suggests he already has an eye on retirement, doing the same moves in the same way and killing any atmosphere at the same time. He’s one of the most exciting talents outside of the ring, but once he climbs in, it’s a different story. Wyatt deserved better.
Winner: Orton
Grade: D-
Universal Championship Match
Brock Lesnar def. Goldberg (c)
A shot of adrenaline straight to the heart, Goldberg vs Lesnar 3.0 is exactly what their first match at WrestleMania XX should have been. Instead of trying (and failing) to have a technical, slow affair, the pair went at it like a round of WWE 2K17.
With three German suplexes in the bag, Lesnar looked like he was going to exorcise his demons before Goldberg landed a venomous spear. The action was taken outside with Lesnar getting speared through the arena padding and then a Jackhammer in the ring. He kicked out to the surprise of everyone before landing seven more Germans and an F5 to win the belt. A nice little pick-me-up to awaken the crowd.
Winner: Lesnar
Grade: C+
SmackDown Women’s Championship Match
Naomi def. Alexa Bliss (c), Natalya, Carmella, Mickie James and Becky Lynch
What a weird place to put this on the card. It didn’t look like it was going ahead at one point and while what we did get in the end was functional, it looked like it belonged on the Kick-Off show after all. The Smackdown Women’s division just isn’t very good right now.
Alexa Bliss looked great, stopping every pinfall to keep her title. The crowd was flat as the fatigue set in, however – WrestleMania 33 was a long night. The coronation of Orlando native Naomi was almost set in stone after her extended entrance, so it was no surprise to see her win here. She could keep the belt and run with it, hopefully making the division more prominent down the line. There’s just something off about Smackdown’s Women that I can’t quite put my finger on.
Winner: Naomi
Grade: D
Roman Reigns def. The Undertaker
As raw as it is to know that The Undertaker has retired, the signs were all in this match that it was coming, and not just because JR was on commentary. The Undertaker has been battered and bruised over decades and it showed throughout this uncomfortable goodbye: he just can’t do it anymore.
With an unexpected No-DQ stipulation, the pair went at each other with Reigns spearing Taker through a table and both going to town on each other with chair shots. Almost unbelievably, Roman survived a chokeslam to a chair and a Tombstone Piledriver, incensing the crowd and making them (somehow) hate him even more. The heel turn felt imminent, but it never came. Roman instead came out of it looking like the reluctant mercy killer, as if he was virtuous in putting down The Undertaker once and for all.
His final opponent wasn’t right, the last spear needing “momentum” was all kinds of dumb, and the atmosphere was so nervy that it was unsettling, but people won’t forget how The Undertaker was retired or who by. We’ll just remember the hat in the ring and one last ride up the ramp.
Winner: Reigns
Grade: C-
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