Summer is winding down. The sun will disappear. The air will become chill. Pumpkins.
If all this depresses you, have no fear! You can still visit your local cinema and forget about the wretched life outside. Here are the ten movies this September that ought to get you excited.
1. It
Truth be told, I could begin and end this list with Andre Muschietti’s It and live satisfied. The second adaptation of Stephen King’s novel about scary things and Maine (it’s distinguishable, I swear) arrives in a sort of renaissance for horror. Yes, we’ve had some awful hour-and-some experiences of late (hello, Cabin Fever and Martyrs remakes), but we have also had plenty of fantastic ones – just this year we have been treated to M. Night Shyamalan’s Split, Jordan Peele’s Get Out, Trey Edward Shults’ It Comes at Night, and even Annabelle: Creation proved entertaining.
It is the one we’ve been waiting for, however. I tend not to get afraid during horror movies, but five seconds of Bill Skarsgard’s Pennywise in the teaser trailer had me whispering, “Get the fuck away from me.” Its director has assured us that it “doesn’t hold back in any aspect” (whereas the 1990s TV miniseries had to neuter the source material given, y’know, it was TV in the 1990s) and the film’s 2-hour-15-minute runtime is a good indication it’ll pack quite a bit of story. There is zero doubt this will float (sorry) to the top of the box office and our dark hearts.
It hits theatres on September 8th, courtesy of Warner Bros. and New Line.
2. Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman: The Secret Service proved to be a pleasant surprise (it was awesome, but I’m trying to be modest), and it made a trove of money fit for a king so we shouldn’t be wondering why we have Kingsman: The Golden Circle knocking at our door.
The Golden Circle’s advertisements have promised us the same classy humour juxtaposed with insane action but BIGGER, and you know what? “Bigger” worked for John Wick: Chapter 2, and it can work here. Channing Tatum and Halle Berry join the cast as American agents, and Colin Firth returns from the dead because this is based on a graphic novel and that’s what graphic novels do.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle sasses its way to your local multiplex on September 22nd, courtesy of Fox.
3. American Made
Doug Liman’s American Made is a biographical film based on the life of Barry Seal, a TWA pilot who then became a drug smuggler and then was recruited by the DEA to provide intelligence (a jack of all trades, you could say). It also stars Tom Cruise, whose role according to Wikipedia is “Barry Seal, Lucy’s husband,” which is the funniest goddamn thing I’ve seen today and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
But yeah, Liman and Cruise last worked on the fantastic Edge of Tomorrow, and I’m expecting a lot of Tom Cruise-unwittingly-becomes-a-badass here (if that’s your thing). Critics say this one’s worth checking out, so if you’re looking for political embarrassment and drugs this is one to keep note of.
American Made arrives on September 29th, courtesy of Universal.
4. Super Dark Times
Don’t let the millennial-y title fool you, Kevin Phillips’ Super Dark Times is legitimately about super dark times. The plot revolves around two teenage best friends who try to cover-up a gruesome discovery, developing tensions between them and sending them down the rabbit hole.
An indie drama-thriller centred on an outcast group during the pre-Internet era, back when being a “nerd” resulted in bullying instead of social media adoration, lends itself to a compelling atmosphere not far removed from Stranger Things and movies like Stand by Me. Super Dark Times launches a limited release on September 29th. Check it out if it plays in a cinema near you.
5. Mother!
Darren Aronofsky’s follow-up to his large-scale Noah returns to his smaller, more intimate roots. Mother! stars Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem as a tranquil couple, until uninvited guests mysteriously begin arriving. Trailers for Mother! have emphasized the singular Aronofsky strangeness we all love, even if I’m of the opinion they’ve given too much away. Still, Mother! gives a distinct Rosemary’s Baby vibe, and you know this’ll be a film that deeply unsettles you by the time the credits roll.
This is the kind of film where you (and I) want to know as little as possible going in, so I’ll stop here. Mother! releases on September 15th, courtesy of Paramount.
6. The Lego Ninjago Movie
I was one of those children who thought Lego’s Ninjago line looked kind of dumb, but now that I’ve grown up I realize they look kind of fun. I also do things backwards. Charlie Bean, Paul Fisher, and (holy!) Bob Logan direct The Lego Ninjago Movie, the third movie in the not-straight-to-DVD Lego franchise. Bob Logan, Paul Fisher, William Wheeler, Tom Wheeler, Jared Stern, and (holy!) John Whittington wrote the script, with story credits to Hilary Winston, Bob Logan, Paul Fisher, William Wheeler, Dan Hageman, and (HOLY!) Kevin Hageman.
Ten people, ten times the fun, right?
All joking aside, this was never expected to match the large-scale Lego Movie and Lego Batman Movie. We just want Lego ninja robots fighting other Lego ninja robots, and thus far the marketing has honoured that. The voice cast includes Olivia Munn, Dave Franco, Jackie Chan, and Dave Franco. Add a healthy dash of meta-humour and we’ll have an entertaining September diversion on our hands. The Lego Ninjago Movie smashes its way to theatres on September 22nd, courtesy of Warner Bros.
7. Flatliners
Niels Arden Oplev helms this remake of Joel Schumacher’s Flatliners. Now, the original Flatliners wasn’t exactly great, but it still served up some decent douchey-people-get-terrorized entertainment. This remake (reboot? I can never tell anymore) has Ellen Page headlining, and Kiefer Sutherland returns.
For transparency’s sake, I don’t expect this to be good. As a piece of filmmaking, there is a slim chance it will be remembered. All of that is irrelevant, though – you will see Flatliners to watch “I’m so smart!” people find out they’re not so smart and get haunted accordingly. It’ll be satisfying, if anything. That, and it looks visually impressive for a horror flick.
Flatliners arrives on September 29th, courtesy of Sony.
8. Trophy
Shaul Schwarz and Christina Clusiau, aside from sounding like European Marvel characters, helm Trophy – a documentary on big-game hunting and its impact on various species in Africa. Usually, such a documentary would be a biased condemnation (I do not condone big-game hunting in any context, mind you), but Trophy takes a chronicling approach and lets you judge for yourself. Arguably, that is much more effective – it forces you to think.
Trophy has received critical acclaim, and is certainly one to watch if you have even a passing interest in wildlife and/or animal rights. Trophy opens in limited release on September 8th, courtesy of The Orchard.
9. Lucky
John Carroll Lynch directs Harry Dean Stanton in this comedy-drama about a 90-year-old atheist on a spiritual journey towards “enlightenment.” Any film that pays tribute to Mr. Stanton’s perpetual haggardness is a winner, and early reviews indicate this is an often funny, often moving mediation on mortality and spirituality. It also features David Lynch as “Howard,” just to throw some zaniness into the brew.
Lucky opens in limited release on September 29th, courtesy of Magnolia.
10. American Assassin
The latest entry in the decades-running “American” line of movies, American Assassin stars Dylan O’Brien, Michael Keaton, and Taylor Kitsch. Director Michael Cuesta’s previous works – Kill the Messenger, Roadie, Twelve and Holding, and L.I.E. – are fine pieces of filmmaking, meaning Assassin is in promising hands. American Assassin focuses on a counterterrorism agent in the Middle East who attempts to stop a world war. The film is also based on the book of the same name, one of fifteen set in the world of agent Mitch Rapp. The series has sold over 20 million copies, so if you’re a fan of the series you should mark this on your calendar.
American Assassin arrives in theatres on September 15th, courtesy of Lionsgate.
Which movies in September are you looking forward to? Comment below, and thanks for reading!
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