I was recently having a conversation with someone who asked me to name my top five most quotable films. I won’t deny it, I had to sit back from the keyboard and cry into a copy of Empire magazine at such a hopelessly daunting task. The films that eventually made the cut are the ones that I repeatedly find myself quoting and not just one iconic quote, the films that eventually made the list are the ones with many quotes that I love. However, I am very aware that so many wonderful films have been left out so please comment, Facebook, Tweet, Carrier Pigeon us with your suggestions for what I’ve missed.
Just keep it nice ok, or I’ll be back.
5. Pulp Fiction
“Bring out the gimp!”
This 1994 film does iconic by the bucket loads. By far one of the most star studded films of the nineties, this a film that is as easily recognisable as a golden “m”. It’s a classic and for good reason. It’s entertaining, it’s daring, it’s sexy (Uma Thurman… UMPH).
Pretty much every bit of dialogue between Jules and Vincent is utterly priceless, from Royales with Cheese because of the metric system to not eating dirty animals. And hey, it’s always good for when you need reminding that “eatin’ a bitch out and givin’ a bitch a foot massage ain’t even the same thing.” That is a life lesson that has probably saved many an awkward situation.
I also think Mia poses an excellent question to Vincent “Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about  bull shit in order to be comfortable?“I mean seriously, fair point.
Besides, call me a soft touch, but it has probably the most romantic opening ever.
Honey Bunny: “I love you Pumpkin.”
Pumpkin: “I love you Honey Bunny…Alright everybody be cool, this is a robbery!”
Honey Bunny: “Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!”
Nothing says true love like sticking up a diner together, bless.
4. Mean Girls
“Four for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco!”
Chances are if you’re between the ages of 16 and 22 and identify as female, you can probably reel off about 10 Mean Girls quotes without thinking. I generally hate chick flicks but my god even I die of laughter (and relate to) far too much of this film. Whether or not you’re a fan-Â “boo, you whore.” –Â there is no denying how well spread quotes are from this film.
Just remember, it taught us all some important life advice:
“We wear pink on Wednesdays.”
“Don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant and die”
It really isn’t your fault if you “have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.”
We’ve all “felt personally victimised by Regina George.”
“Fetch is never going to happen.”
It’s not just us normal people that get tongue tied around cute people, Lindsay Lohan does it too..and she’s pretty “Grool”.
And perhaps my favourite.. that breasts can be psychic. “I have psychic breasts, they can tell when it’s raining”.
3. Donnie Darko
“Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?”
Ah Donnie Darko. A film that bewildered us, made us laugh, made us shiver and for me, left me with various social media pages stacked full of my favourite Donnie Darko quotes. This is a good ‘un for the angsty teenager as I was, but also anyone with a dark sense of humour.
I will always love that Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, real life siblings in this film. The argument at the beginning has probably one of my favourite come backs in ever.
“You’re such a fuckass.”
“Did you just call me a fuck ass? … You can go suck a fuck.”
Donnie and Gretchens blossoming relationship was always a beacon of hope for me, that no matter how weird I was, there would be someone out there who liked me for my weirdness.
“You’re weird.”
“Sorry”
“No that was a compliment.”
Donnie’s response to Watership Down is also rather beautiful. The frank honesty (see what I did there?) really makes you think but it is presented in a darkly comedic way.
“The rabbit’s not like us. It has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret. I mean, I’m sorry, Miss Pommeroy. Don’t get me wrong. You know, I like rabbits and all. They’re cute and they’re horny. And if you’re cute and you’re horny, then you’re probably happy that you don’t know who you are or why you’re even alive. You just wanna have sex as many times as possible before you die. I just don’t see the point in crying over a dead rabbit, you know, who never even feared death to begin with.”
His brilliance is also shown in response to Kitty Farmer’s assignment.
“There are other things that need to be taken into account here, like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can’t just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else.”
Probably my favourite, me being the sick person I am, is the conversation he has with his therapist under hypnosis:
Dr Thurman: How are things going at school?
Donnie:Â I think about girls a lot.
Dr Thurman:Â I asked you about school, Donnie.
Donnie:Â I think about fucking a lot during school.
Dr Thurman:Â What else do you think about during school?
Donnie:Â Married with Children.
Dr Thurman:Â Do you think about your family?
Donnie:Â I just turn down the volume and think about fucking Christina Applegate.
Dr Thurman:Â I asked you about your family, Donnie.
Donnie: [Chuckling] No. I don’t think about fucking my family. That’s gross.
2. Scott Pilgrim vs The World
“I got to go pee on her”
If my friends are anything to go by, this is very much like marmite. You either love this film or hate it. Me? I love it. I love it and I quote it every chance I get.
I think my boyfriend still misses the reference every time I tell him “I’m in lesbians with you”.
There is also only one reaction you can get from me if you accidentally hit me. “You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die. Obviously.”
In fact that one character brings out so many of the best lines. “Bi curious? Well honey, I’m Bi- Furious!!” “Your BFs about to get effed in the B!” and of course the orgasmic “you’ll never do this to her….!” explosion into many coins.
It also came with some fantastic food advice “Bread makes you fat?!” and “Chicken isn’t vegan?!”
It was ultimately a nerd fest with Michael Cera playing that character that Michael Cera plays in every film except instead of sucking it was actually really funny. From the slightly dry humour in the band “She has to go, she knows we suck.” to the visual texts “You’re incorrigible” “I don’t know the meaning of the word” [Text: He really doesn’t.] It is a film that has kept me laughing and quoting and will do for many years to come.
It was just beaten to the top spot by a classic. A downright corker that I don’t know a single person who doesn’t like it.
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“Help, Help, I’m being repressed!”
I don’t feel I need to explain why this film is brilliant. If you don’t already know, there is probably no saving you. So I’m just going to leave it with some of the best moments.
“Tis but a scratch!”
“We are the knights who say NI!”
“Oh please let me just have a little bit more peril?”
“She turned me into a newt.. I got better”
“You’re using coconuts!”
“On second thoughts, let’s not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.”
“Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away…”
“It reads, “Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh… “”
“And after the spankings… the oral sex!”
“Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.”
“We are now the Knights who say…”Ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing, z’nourrwringmm.””
“I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
Honourable Mentions:
The Notebook: Â “Say I’m a bird!”
Fight Club: ” You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”
Silver Linings Playbook: ” There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself”
Airplane:Â “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines”
The Blues Brothers:Â Â “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.”
Silence of the Lambs: “I’m having an old friend for dinner”
Breakfast at Tiffanys: “Promise me one thing: don’t take me home until I’m drunk – very drunk indeed.”
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