3. Don’t be an arse when you’re drunk
This one should really be self-explanatory, but through my own personal experience, it’s not for some people. Sorry guys. The bad apples spoil the bunch. Or, more accurately, the douchebags ruin everyone’s fun.
This covers a few different things. Mainly these; drama, fighting or aggressiveness, and unwanted sexual advances. Depending on the severity of these things, you could cause a range of ill-effects for somebody, anything from ruining their night, to causing them severe pain or trauma. Not only this but all of your new mates might start thinking you’re a bit of a wanker.
We’ll tackle the toughest one first. If somebody is so drunk they can barely stand, do not try to have sex with them. This is rape. I can’t really say it any plainer. This is mainly aimed at guys, but girls, you need to follow this very simple rule too. But I’m pretty sure they liked me anyway, I hear somebody shouting from the back. Well, if that’s the case they’ll still like you in the morning, so wait until they’re in a sound frame of mind before you try and get your rocks off. You may be putting that person in a situation that will negatively impact them for the rest of their lives, as well as putting yourself at risk of legal action. Even if no such action is taken, your new buddies will think you’re a scumbag.
Students tend to have a lot of sex, and yes, a lot of it happens under the influence of alcohol, but there is a line. Don’t cross that line, or you could be seriously hurting someone.
The next ones are a bit more simple to tackle. Don’t be the guy (or girl) that regularly fights in clubs. Yeah, your mates will come to your aid, break the fight up, and calm you down after. That’s what friends do. But if it becomes a regular occurrence, you’ll seriously start winding people up, and eventually they may abandon you altogether.
Also, don’t be a drama addict. Some people – typically girls but I’ve met guys like this too – live for the drama. On nights out they cry, they argue, they disappear in a huff and go crash at their mate in the year above’s house, leaving you all to worry about them. It’s really bloody annoying, don’t do it. Right, now that’s out of the way let’s get back to something more light hearted.
2. Learn the art of predrinking
The media loves to kick off about predrinking, labeling it super dangerous and saying if you do it you’ll likely die. In reality though you’re going to have to master the art of predrinking, because on a strapped student budget it’s a lifesaver, helping you have all those wild nights out without running out of money. In first year, especially during the opening months, nights out will happen very organically. You’ll be having a few beers watching a film with your mates, and before you know it you’re halfway home from some sticky nightclub after a night of trying to get lucky, ending up with only a kebab that you’ll regret more than the jager the next morning. To this end you should always keep a few beers lying around for emergencies; don’t be the guy who has to sponge off everyone else whenever this happens.
Another, pretty obvious rule, is to know your limits. I mentioned the media reaction to predrinks, this is usually in response to somebody who drank too much vodka because they didn’t know their limits and put themselves in some sort of danger. Know how much you can take in without putting yourself in danger. Factor in the fact that you may buy drinks while you’re out too.
Also, learn some drinking games before you go. For some reason Ring of Fire is always the most popular with everyone – despite it being really complicated and everyone having different rules for it – and you’ll all get bored of it quite soon. Come prepared with some drinking games that buck the trend and are easy to play and everyone will love you. You’ll be given all the free Tesco Value vodka you can put away. The opposite sex will swoon at your feet. Your stunned flatmates will offer to do all of your work for the rest of the semester. You’ll be a pre drinks god. Probably.
(Protip: if you must play Ring of Fire, agree a set of flat rules and stick them to the kitchen wall. This avoids the inevitable argument between two pissed-up blokes you’ve never met before over whether an ace means waterfall or dirty pint.)
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