5 Things You Could’ve Done Instead Of Waiting For The Star Wars Trailer

By now you’ll have seen the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer, hopefully with people you trust to revive you after your nerd black-out.

The trailer was great (I can’t believe they did that to that character – I wonder how he/she will react in the movie), but it was the hours leading up to the moment it dropped that were truly historic. For the first time ever in movie history, people were getting buzzed, and reading entire articles, about a preview to a movie.

Think about that. Not getting excited for a movie – getting excited for a preview. Some websites (which will remain nameless – you know who you are) had entire articles up a day in advance of the trailer offering to prepare them for when it finally hit. A preview to a preview of a movie. The universe just swallowed its own tail.

If you got caught up in the hysteria, that’s fine. We love Star Wars too and we’re not judging. Except, here are five things you could have been doing instead of waiting for the new Star Wars trailer drop.

 

1. Watch Star Wars

Remember Star Wars? That movie that changed cinema forever and created the blockbuster? It’s literally the main reason you’re excited about the new movie. If you hadn’t seen Star Wars at some point between 1977 and last night, why would you even care about this trailer?

Star Wars is a great movie. Despite what the haters say, it still totally holds up nearly 40 years after it first came out. In fact it’s so good nobody has even bothered to point out that it still holds up, because everyone already knows. It’s got the greatest movie bad guy of all time, and there’s a giant space orb that can blow up planets.

 

2. Go to the store

We’re worried about you, shut in front of your computer with your curtains drawn, clicking refresh on the YouTube homepage. Just go round to the corner store and stretch your legs. Have a conversation with the checkout clerk. Or, if you’re worried about missing the trailer, just take a walk round the block. The fresh air is good for you, and if you don’t get some now and again Disney will start charging you for it.

If you’re up for it, go get coffee with a friend. The exact beverage doesn’t matter as long as you talk to them, preferably about something other than Star Wars.

 

3. Watch the news

While you’re counting the seconds until the trailer drops, there is an entire world of things happening around you. Turn on CNN, or BBC (depending on what country you’re in) and see how things are going. Global warming is still happening apparently – check what’s going on with that.

How about that Donald Trump as well? Is that his real hair? What does all that stuff coming out of his mouth mean? Find out for us and let us know. You’ll be a smarter person for it and you can lord it over your friends as if you’re the new John Oliver.

 

4. Finish your essay

If you’ve got time to obsess over a movie trailer, there’s a good chance you are at university, college or high school. In which case, get on with that essay. Watching a Star Wars trailer doesn’t automatically get you a passing grade. It doesn’t count as an ‘extenuating circumstance’ either.

Go to the library, find a quiet corner and keep away from any internet connected devices. Trust us when we say it will help in the long run. Being so obsessed with movie trailers you waste an entire day waiting for them isn’t healthy at the best of times, and it’s liable to make your teacher go dark side on your ass.

 

5. Read some literature

While you sit there obsessing over a preview for a film that won’t be out for two months, there are volumes of classic literature gathering dust, probably within walking distance. You are not a giant mouth waiting at the end of Disney’s vast assembly line of bland, sugary mush. You are autonomous.

Sample something else. Charles Dickens is supposed to be good, or maybe you could try some Jane Austen or John Steinbeck. Whatever it is, just make sure it has nothing to do with light up swords or hives of scum and villainy.