Video Game Crossovers Should Be More Of A Thing

There is little room for debate that the 90s was the pinnacle era for human creative endeavour. It edges out the renaissance by virtue of there being significantly less effluence in the streets, random plagues wouldn’t periodically kill the fuck out of everyone and fruit pastilles were readily available. The 90s looks even more astonishing when compared with the dystopian cultural wasteland that is 2017. The music was better, the film industry hadn’t yet succumbed to the temptation of pumping out sequels/adaptations at a rate that would make even the most industrious rabbit envious and nobody knew what a meme was; what a time to be alive.

At the forefront of this cultural golden age were cartoons. Often dismissed as childish tripe, those of us who were lucky enough to be around during this magnificent time know that couldn’t be further from the truth. For the most part they were expertly crafted novellas, encompassing the whole range of human experience and beyond. What made them so great was that they held no disdain for their audience. The very best examples even dared to push the viewer, to challenge their intellect with material that out of context may appear to tread the boundaries of acceptability. Only the most deft and able craftsmen can tailor their material so acutely as to elevate themes whilst ensuring suitability. In other words, they were grown up as fuck and we all loved it. Dealing with themes like death, abandonment, mental illness and suffering (a clean sweep, in Batman: The Animated Series’ case) there was always plenty of nuance and guile to keep us coming back for more.

They also had the best theme tunes you’ve ever heard. Chief amongst them? Motherfuckin’ Duck Tales!

These cartoons reached their creative zenith when they dared tread that most fiddly of narrative landscapes; the ‘crossover’. The writers would introduce a character (or characters) from another series that was tangentially related (or in some cases, absolutely nothing at all to do with anything like when Johnny Quest popped up in an episode of I am Weasel) for a one-off escapade that when done well, was simply marvellous. The hallmarks of the crossover are self-referential humour, intricate character juxtaposition and universe straddling hijinks. Once you add in the potential to settle many a playground argument (ie who would win in a fight between Johnny Bravo and the Scooby Gang) the formula is solid entertainment gold.

The peak of crossover joy came in the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon ‘Neogenic Nightmare’ storyline that saw the amazing wall crawler seek the help of Professor Charles Xavier and his merry band of X-Men, who were enjoying their own spectacular cartoon series at the time. Spidey breaks into Charles’ home for ludicrously powerful pre-teens (citation needed) through the chimney but is immediately caught in a metal straight jacket and plonked on his arse, spidey-sense going haywire. From the darkness emerged the X-Men, infamous theme music blaring and
everything.

‘Well what do you know, put out flypaper; catch a spider’.

This line is delivered by Wolverine whose cartoon iteration is renowned for some of the most inscrutable dialogue ever recorded:

This opening gambit (wink to camera) is no exception. He then indirectly volunteers to torture Spider-Man for information, razor sharp claws extended for added menace and yet all this sets the tone for the two characters. They dovetail seamlessly as an odd couple throughout the saga, with animosity giving way to mutual respect. Their relationship acts as a perfect example for the potential that crossovers have.

Video games in the 2010s are what cartoons were in the 90s; the most prominent cultural output of the day. So it is only right that crossovers do what they did for games what they so expertly did for cartoons. Think of the endless possibilities.

 

Alex Hunter in Mass Effect Andromeda

EA did what EA do and massively overcomplicated FIFA 17 by throwing in some nonsense about a youth growing up to be a professional footballer and it was total shit. However, the character is established now so it would be a shame to waste all that effort. All Bioware need to do is produce a quick comic that contrives Alex’s survival to 2185 AD (I’m thinking ‘gets stuck in a post-game ice bath, freezes then gets thawed out in the future because science?) and hey presto, he’s an astronaut. Plus this works because his name already sounds like a Mass Effect character.

 

Marcus Fenix in Farming Simulator 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE-sKkdFgaE

Have you played Gears of War 4? Marcus Fenix is an old man who just wants a quiet life. Get him behind the wheel of a CLAAS Jaguar 850 (it’s a kind of tractor) and he is good to go. Plus it will probably handle better than those terrible driving sections in the first Gears game.

 

 

Kirby in Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil 7 is both terrifying and good. The only thing scarier than Resident Evil 7 is Kirby. Think about it; Kirby eats you, steals your essence and then wears bits of you as armour. Horrifying.

 

The twats from Final Fantasy XV in the bin

Not a crossover per se, just where they belong.

There is such a rich pool of characters to transpose into different settings, it would be an absolute joy to start mixing and matching just to see what happened. I can’t stand the Uncharted series but if they replaced Nathan Drake with Buzz (of Buzz! quiz game fame) I would play the shit out of that. Equally, video game villains are ripe for interchanging; take GLaDOS out of Portal for instance, stick her in Nintendogs and things will take a turn for the delightfully sinister.

The appeal is clear and the opportunity ripe. Come on developers put aside your petty differences and do this for the greater good!

N.B I should note that some people claim resorting to crossovers is the last bastion of the creatively bankrupt but they can fuck off.