How To Fix James Bond

Daniel Craig is now officially back (gasp!) in the well worn loafers of James Bond for the 25th instalment in the film series. Craig had previously said he would rather slash his own wrists than play the womanising spy again, but seeing as money has a certain ability to make people forget the stupid things they said, we can expect another blonde Bond outing which will likely tread the same tropes, and remind us all why Bond is a staple of British society- like the Queen, talking about the weather, or Marmite.

Unfortunately, Spectre (much like the Queen, the weather, and Marmite) wasn’t much to harp on about. Following after the spectacular Skyfall, it was always going to be difficult to provide another stand out film when the Bond series is so rooted in its own genre. Surviving for 55 years, I believe it is time for a serious shake-up. Below I have avoided a lengthy study on generic practices in the Bond films and have instead provided a guide on how to fix James Bond.

 

Bond dies

It doesn’t matter how it happens, he just needs to die. Bullet in the head. An unstoppable venereal disease (most likely). Poisoning. Or if you really want to pull at the heart strings and provide endless readings on the symbolic decline of Britain, cancer. What matters more than how he dies is when he dies. For maximum effect, the film goes full Up mode for this one. 10 minutes of dialogue free scenes, we watch as James slowly succumbs to his inevitable mortal fate. Not only would this provide a much needed change of pace from the obligatory adrenaline filled stunt opening, but it would allow the films to really change for the better, as I will explain.

 

__________ plays Bond

Despite what Kevin down at the local pub says as he clings on to the bar drinking his seventh lager, it is possible for Bond to be a woman. Or to be black. Or to be played by anyone. Whilst there will be outcries of “PC gone mad”, “Millennials have killed Bond” and “#notmyBond” eventually those cries will quieten and normalcy will resume. What people tend to forget about James Bond is that he is fictional, and therefore with some creativity and blue-sky thinking, it is possible for him to change. If not only to increase the possibility of the Daily Mail spontaneously combusting as it tries to wrap its head around a non-white, non-male Bond, it opens up avenues otherwise shut off from the series.

Depending on the method of his death we could see a story where a young female Bond, James’ daughter, traces through her father’s previous adventures to discover a secret that he kept from his family. Spurred on by her desire to the know the truth about her father’s past and recruited by MI6, the new Bond reunites her fathers’ old colleagues. An ageing M, Q and Miss Moneypenny all reminisce and quip about working with Bond Senior whilst aiding his daughter in her quest to know more about her father’s life. The great thing about this idea is that it is still possible for Bond 25. Craig plays Bond for maximum 15 minutes, the audience is shocked, and the series is turned on its head. Although unlikely and a very risky move by the studio, it would be unprecedented and undoubtedly cause of lot of buzz.

Choice of actor for Bond: Lily James

 

“The name’s Bond…”

The character of James Bond has now reached an iconic status, known globally and often parodied he is the archetype for spy characters everywhere. At this point, all ideas of continuity considering the Bond series have gone out the window. No one has questioned how one man with different faces, with the same name, has slept with countless women, has more martini than blood in his body, and has completed missions on behalf of MI6 for nigh on sixty years. As such, it really doesn’t matter who plays him because it is just a name that can be stuck onto anyone.

What I would like to see is a Bond film akin to Kingsman: The Secret Service. A down-and-out type kid is trained by MI6 and in the process, to save his identity, is given a new name, that of the iconic 007, James Bond. From there the film becomes more of a coming of age tale, just within the setting of an MI6 training facility. This could also serve as Hollywood’s favourite R-word, a reboot. With a whole new cast we could watch as prospective Qs and Ms interact with young Bond, and we see him develop into a new character with depth and a backstory from the ground up. With a well placed time jump we could see Bond venture on his first missions, making the mistakes we never see him make, providing comic relief for the film. Later on we could see him clash with the villain, a spurned former student of the MI6 training programme that both he and Bond were in. Seeing Bond as the reason for his dismissal it has since been his aim to destroy him.

Choice of actor for Bond: Ansel Elgort

 

Old Man Bond

Provided that the studio has thrown out both of the above ideas I provide a third option. In the spirit of Logan (which managed to overturn the superhero genre and provide an original film out of an already tired genre) we have a film centred around an old Bond who is alone and tormented by his life as a spy. The years of killing, car chases and fist fights have taken their toll on both his mind and body. But, he has a secret, a mission he never completed, a plot which was never foiled, and as a result Bond now exists in an almost dystopian world where mass surveillance is everywhere. Haunted by his failure he takes it upon himself to finally complete his last mission and bring down the company/government/organisation that he let get away.

This idea could see a much more subdued Bond, one who has the brains of a spy but not the physique, and sees him use his old gadgets and learn how to use new ones. It could even go as far as buddy-cop style film which has a younger character act as Bond’s sidekick who does all the heavy lifting and fighting. I can virtually hear the jibes about “being too old for this shit” and “back in my day” throwbacks.

Choice of actor for Bond: Michael Caine

 

The James Bond Cinematic Expanded Universe

Despite sounding like a Beatles album, this is probably my least favourite idea, but seeing as other massive movie franchises such as Star Wars, Marvel and DC have gone this route it is probable that this idea has already been considered on some level. While I wouldn’t want to see an annualised Bond, the idea of having a cinematic universe where each film contributes to a bigger plot whilst telling its own story would certainly provide a grand spectacle. Not only could we then see what 007 gets up to on his missions but what all the other 00’s do. This could have really helped make Spectre a better film, by planning what will happen in future films and working towards one end goal, the revelation that there has been a company pulling all the strings behind Bond’s life could be a real twist, rather than a tacked-on afterthought.

This idea also resolves the ‘Who should play Bond next” debate, because you could have all the actors that have been considered in the past (Idris Elba, Olivia Coleman, Damien Lewis, Michael Fassbender, and Tom Hiddleston, just to name a few) by having them play other spies or characters. The main issue with this idea is the same issue which plagues the other cinematic universes, compromising the storytelling in order for the sequel to exist, which promises to tell more of the story, and ultimately fails to deliver. However, knowing the mistakes of other cinematic universes could aid the studio and those involved in the filmmaking in crafting a cinematic universe based on one of cinema’s most iconic characters.

Ultimately, overhauling the franchise would be great, but doing it for the sake of it could be detrimental. It is important to recognise what makes a Bond film a Bond film and not anything else. Obviously what should be contained is subjective, but I think making big changes to the franchise whilst keeping in mind what makes the spirit of a Bond film, will keep the franchise fresh and full of ideas for years to come.