Cyberpunk 2077: Where To Find The Dildo Weapon (Sir John Phallustiff)

Amidst all the elaborate, high-tech weaponry in Cyberpunk 2077, it’s good to know that CD Projekt Red realise when to keep things simple, too. In the case of Sir John Phallustiff, the dildo melee weapon, you sometimes can’t beat the classics.

Sir John Phallustiff is available after you complete the heist that takes up the prologue before the story really gets going. You will also need to meet with Meredith Stout during the Going Pro quest, otherwise she won’t become a contact.

Shortly into the game after the events of the prologue, you will get a message from Meredith that mentions something about a chance meeting and how they’re unlikely to cross paths again. If you reply and ask about seeing more of her ink, Meredith will ask you to meet her at the No-Tell Motel and then the Venus In Furs mission will be available.

Go to the No-Tell Motel, follow the marker, and then watch the cutscene. Afterwards, you will find a giant dildo on the bed.

Pick it up and then you will have a dildo as a melee weapon. Available in the Rare rarity, Sir John Phallustiff is actually quite the powerful non-lethal weapon.

With 373.6 DPS and 18% crit chance, as well as an empty mod slot, Sir John Phallustiff is, surprisingly, one of the best weapons in the game. Hitting a strong attack by holding down the attack button will either one-hit KO or stun a human opponent, leaving you to quickly slap them senseless.

In all honesty, this dildo weapon is better than some of the actual Legendaries, especially if you take the opportuniyy to add a crit chance mod to keep the damage going even higher.

Plus, it’s a giant dildo that vibrates like some weird lightsaber whenever you swing it. This thing was worth the wait for the game to release on its own.

Cyberpunk 2077 is available now for PC, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and Stadia.

MORE CYBERPUNK: How To Change Hairstyles & Facial Hair