The whirlwind of nostalgia-bait and sometimes actual wrestling matches that we like to call WWE is apparently shaping up to bring back Goldberg, someone who used to be a big draw ten years ago. He has been pretty inactive since his last match for the company when he went toe-to-toe with Brock Lesnar in what can only be described as a shitshow of a Wrestlemania moment.
If your memory is a little foggy, both Goldberg and Lesnar were booed mercilessly out of the building at Wrestlemania XX. It was the last match for both of them under their current contracts with the news that Lesnar would be quitting coming just before the event itself having a major impact on proceedings. They each showed that they were pretty much just in it for the money.
It also didn’t help Goldberg that just like in WCW, he had been found out for his limited in-ring ability and tired gimmick. Once he was famously beaten by the NWO (via hijinks), which brought an end to his streak, and with it many of the reasons to give a damn about him, the fans started to turn. They did the same during his run with WWE, probably not helped by bland booking and a boring feud with Triple H. Nevertheless, most of the entertainment value from Goldberg comes from a spear, jackhammer, and a goosebump-inducing entrance.
If Goldberg is to make a return, the pop would be incredible, but quickly die off when he’s halfway down the ramp. In the “New Era” of WWE, he just doesn’t have a place.
In an environment where upcoming stars are seemingly getting pushed to the moon, where does an ageing WCW remnant fit in? Modern WWE is all about stiff, high-flying action that fans have been crying out for, not template-ready squash matches that you can call from a mile off. Goldberg has a very rigid way of wrestling, and he certainly isn’t going to learn new tricks. Saying that, it would be sweet to see him attempting a Frog Splash, but it isn’t going to happen.
The best bet for a Goldberg return would be a “marquee” event match that will bring in a few dozen more subscribers to the WWE Network. The most obvious pick? Brock Lesnar.
A rematch between Lesnar and Goldberg might be tantalising to some; an opportunity to make amends for the disaster that came before it. With Lesnar almost 40 and Goldberg nearing 50, it’s probably too late. As slow and disinteresting as their first fight was, it’s hard to imagine any rematch being at a quicker tempo – Goldberg doesn’t have age on his side and is beyond ring rusty. Nobody wants to watch Lesnar suplex a guy nearing retirement age around a ring for fifteen minutes, either. Not again.
The biggest reason to say no to a Goldberg return is a simple one: to keep the focus on the wrestling and not the lazy nostalgia pops that WWE keep falling back on when they panic. They’ve resorted to a returning face too many times to bring back viewers instead of staying the course and focusing on what’s important: fresh storylines, new match-ups, and actual wrestling talent.
They’re taking big steps forward, now they just need to make sure they don’t take any backwards ones. Swerving Goldberg will show they’re serious.
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