10 Funniest Lines From This Week’s WWE Raw

The Miz Maryse

From one of the better Raws in recent memory, these lines stood out as part of the reason why. Often, WWE writing is overly cute or too contrived to hit the mark, or the camera-work doesn’t do the lines justice, but throughout this week’s Raw there was a consistently funny undertone that lifted the entire episode’s appeal.

Here are the 10 best ones we heard from the superstars and on commentary.

10. After another of Bray Wyatt’s cryptic, lengthy critiques of an opponent.
Michael Cole: “I don’t think Bray Wyatt could put it any plainer than that.”

An unintentionally funny one to kick off the list, with Cole cluelessly describing Wyatt’s style of speaking in the exact opposite way from how it is delivered.

9. During the Enzo Vs Miz match following Miz TV
Corey: “I’m a little concerned about Maryse’s well-being, I’m pretty sure Enzo’s on the list of things pregnant women should avoid like kitty litter and shellfish.”

I’m becoming convinced Corey either has a writer working on these lines or he works diligently to prepare them because if these are off-the-cuff he is approaching Bobby Heenan levels of work.

8. While Seth and Dean are roaming backstage looking for potential tag team partners.
Dean Ambrose: “It’s the man of 1000 holds!”

Dean’s childlike glee when they come upon Dean Malenko is infectious and entertaining. Watching Dean in backstage segments is like a whole fun show all of its own.

7. That same segment, The Hardy’s have just met up with Dean and Seth. Matt Hardy ended the scene cackling weirdly and biting the air.
Corey Graves: “What’s wrong with Matt?”

Watching Matt snarling and biting air in that distinctly ‘Broken’ way is simultaneously funny and exciting for its potential implications. Corey’s line after it just put the icing on the cake with how he was clearly stifling laughter trying not to break.

6. Miz declaring he and Maryse are pregnant.
Corey: “A baby Miz.”

Corey was on fire tonight, and the way he said this line like he was already doting over Miz’s progeny made it all the funnier. You could just picture him leaning over the little A-lister and cooing after a line like that.

5. Booker recounting a story Elias apparently told him earlier, mimicking Elias’ gruff, sexy voice.
Booker: “I got some new stuff for you, baby”.

Cole: “Did he say it to you like that??”

The weirdly sexual emphasis Booker put into the way he said ‘baby’ was so odd and funny on its own, however, Cole catching it and asking the question many people listening were no doubt thinking really nailed it down for a laugh.

4. During the replay of the Cena vs. Strowman match when Braun smacks Cena in the head with the steel steps before he slams him on them in the ring for the DQ finish.
Corey: “That technically should have been the first disqualification.”

The second brilliant unintentional laugh of the night. Corey stifling laughter is becoming one of my favourite things on the Raw commentary desk. The complete lack of logic in the match concerning the use of the steps and the disqualification simply had to be addressed and Corey managed to do it here with that hint of wryness in his voice that let you know he was wondering the same things as the audience.

3. Alexa Bliss complaining backstage to Nia Jax about her treatment and trying to get Nia on board with her.

Alexa: “Raw should be the Alexa and Nia– Nope. Nia and Alexa show. Nia ‘n’ Alexa.”

The sudden about-face in the middle when Alexa realises Nia might not like being second-fiddle was perfect. Alexa is lightning quick and has her character nailed.

2. Dean and Seth backstage saying to Raw GM Kurt Angle that they could choose Disney characters for their upcoming tag match partners.
Kurt Angle: “You have to find real people.”

All in the delivery, Angle’s deadpan order to find actual living people for a match on his show made it a genuine laugh out loud moment. The mere notion that Kurt feels the need to ensure that Dean doesn’t go and recruit fictional characters for a main event tag team match only gets more ridiculous the harder you think about it. Bonus laugh, watch Dean throughout this segment as he was miming and gesturing the entire time whether talking or not. Brilliant.

1. Enzo has just said “How you doin” to Maryse on Miz TV.
Miz: “Don’t you dare ‘How You Doin’ my wife!”

This was something special. Not only was Miz’s delivery utterly filled with contempt for Enzo, but his use of Enzo’s actual phrase as a verb, along with the perfect camera work where he not only stepped between Enzo and Maryse but also between the CAMERA and Maryse made it uproarious. Between this and the “That’s coming from me!” line, Miz snatched the Funniest Raw Guy trophy from Dean Ambrose and Corey Graves on the bell.

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