WWE SmackDown Live REVIEW: Full Results, Grades & Highlights for 02/27/18

Styles Cena

In the summer of 2005, I walked past a Vatican City gift-shop filled with religious items for sale. The goods displayed in the store’s front window were similarly sacred, with one exception: a John Cena SmackDown t-shirt. Tonight, Saint Cena brings his crusade to SmackDown in search of divine intervention for a WrestleMania opponent.

Intro: Much as Jesus Christ triumphantly entered Jerusalem, Cena opens the show by galloping to the ring. His appearance is heralded by an ill-timed Bludgeon Brothers graphic. Cena said he is here for the same reason that 99.9 percent of SmackDown superstars are here. He probably doesn’t need to break that number down into tenths of a percentage. After failing to win the Royal Rumble or Elimination Chamber, Cena now declares that he wants to compete in the Fatal Five-Way championship match at Fastlane. He immediately follows that statement by claiming he is not looking for a handout.

Cena said it’s time to cut to the chase and find out what he needs to do to make it to WrestleMania. Perhaps showing up on SmackDown more than 12 days before its next pay-per-view could have helped. He’s coming off as remarkably entitled here. Nevertheless, SmackDown commissioner Shane McMahon is summoned to welcome Cena and give him his props. The Los Angeles fans voice their support for Cena by chanting for Rusev Day.

Shane hems and haws until general manager Daniel Bryan joins them in the ring. Bryan gives Cena an opportunity: if he wins the show’s main event, he will be added to the WWE championship match at Fastlane. Tonight, Cena wrestles WWE Champion AJ Styles.

Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

– Sami reprised his Bluth family chicken dance during his entrance. I want a GIF of his double-time running-in-place move on the ring steps. Kevin Owens provides vicious color commentary, tossing barbs at his longtime nemesis Byron Saxton, who KO proclaims has never had a friend and does his best work when completely silent. But those aren’t his most ruthless comments:

FIGHTING WORDS: “Corbin, if you’re looking for your hairline, it’s on top of your head.” – Kevin Owens

– Backstage, Shane questions Bryan’s decision to let Owens do color commentary. Bryan’s response: “Have you listened to Kevin Owens on commentary?” Fair point.

– After commercial, we go backstage to watch McMahon and Bryan watch this match. Shane has popcorn now. Probably would have helped to keep the focus on the two top contenders battling in the ring instead of the possibility of Owens using his close proximity to the ring to interfere in their fight.

– After Sami hits a tornado DDT, a seated Owens is blindsided by a Dolph Ziggler superkick. Dolph then ducks and rolls away from the announce table for no apparent reason. A distracted Zayn runs directly into End of Days.

Result: Baron Corbin pinned Sami Zayn after End of Days.

Grade: B-

– Corbin’s celebration was punctured by a Zig Zag from behind. We may never learn Dolph’s heel/face alignment. Backstage, Shane trash-talks Bryan by telling him that his boys got what was coming to them. Bryan responds by calmly asking for the rest of the night off. Doesn’t he work just one day a week anyway? Shane tells Bryan that leaving his two-hour-per-week job early is a great idea. Best boss ever.

– Owens and a kvetching Zayn moan about their misfortune backstage until they run into Shane. Then they moan about it to him. Shane stops choking on popcorn long enough to recommend that they catch Bryan before he leaves the arena. After all, “Brie doesn’t like when you guys are all late for dinner.”

Naomi vs. Ruby Riott

– It’s fun to hear Corey Graves criticize Naomi for bringing Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch to the ring with her, while defending to the death Ruby Riott’s right to have her squad mates accompany her. His work reminds me of Bobby Heenan rationalizing everything the heels did and constantly questioning the faces’ motives.

– We see Carmella checking her social media inquiries on split-screen as we return from break. Even with the Money in the Bank briefcase, she seems almost invisible without Ellsworth.

– Riott won this match cleanly, and, more importantly, is acquitting herself well in her move to the main roster. The Riott Squad doesn’t have an established performer like Paige to lend them legitimacy and handle the tougher in-ring work. Yet they’ve mostly succeeded in staying afloat when working with more-experienced wrestlers.

Result: Ruby Riott pinned Naomi after a Riott Kick. She mouthed, “Two down, one to go” to Flair after the match.

Grade: C+ (this grade would likely have been higher had the production cut away during the four separate ring entrances and not the match itself)

– Tom Phillips said Cena and Styles would wrestle for the “first time ever” on SmackDown Live tonight. The “Live” designation is the crucial term there, considering these two men have enjoyed a lengthy feud in recent years.

– Breezango look back with pride on their “Solved” case bulletin board. They’re greeted by actor Josh Duhamel from the USA Network’s new show, “Unsolved”. Even they can’t get his name right. Duhamel calls out Breezango for not solving actual cases, just using weird scenarios to do parodies of movies and television shows. Fandango fires back by telling him they’ve already solved the mystery of Biggie Smalls, then points at Big E.

FIGHTING WORDS (RAP BATTLE): “Twelve job applications / All blank, I’m lazy. Two babysitters / No babies.” – Big E, prior to leaping into the arms of Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston.

– In the ring, the New Day previews their Fastlane match against The Usos. Big E says their feud is hotter than his inner thighs during the summer. He orders Kingston to repeatedly “spritz” his nether regions with sprayed water. That is slightly too weird even for these guys.

– The Usos materialize to provide their rebuttal. They remind New Day that they went to war last year, and only one team was left standing with the SmackDown tag-team championship. Jey Usos admits that his team used to be like New Day, “Running around here, dancing, singing. Wearing rainbow colors, lookin’ like a box of Skittles.” The Usos say they’ve never been included on a WrestleMania card (which is true, if you don’t count their pre-show matches). Their passion is undeniable when they yell that this year is their time.

– Big E turns a 180 to get serious about his team’s accomplishments. He mentions that New Day set the record for the longest WWE tag-team championship reign, and brags that his team hosted WrestleMania last year when “the two of you were in the back eating catering.” E gets nasty when he tells the Usos that New Day didn’t get to WWE because of their daddies, and they didn’t sit on the WrestleMania sidelines like the Usos because they stormed the field and took what they wanted. He said the Usos can’t do anything to stop New Day from becoming the five-time champions at Fastlane. Strong promo that demonstrates Big E’s promise as a breakout singles star.

– As New Day and the Usos prepare to throw down, the lights dim and the Bludgeon Brothers cast a pall over the proceedings. In an inspired bit of genius, Erick Rowan and Luke Harper decide to bring their mallets with them into the ring. The Usos and New Day wisely leave.

– A clip from earlier today airs of McMahon dealing with Rusev Day’s complaints by booking a match between Aiden English and Shinsuke Nakamura.

– Ziggler shoots a hand-held camera video in the locker-room. He states that he didn’t come back to SmackDown to get lost in the shuffle. The words “lost in the shuffle” appear onscreen to “lend gravity” to his speech.

– Renee Young interviews Smilin’ Bobby Roode, who is excited to wrestle Randy Orton at Fastlane. He wants to be the greatest U.S. champion in history, so he needs to test himself against the best. Roode wonders if Orton is ticked at him for being ranked higher on the SmackDown Top Ten List. Let’s never speak of that again. Orton approaches Roode to clarify that it’s all about the U.S. title, the only championship he hasn’t claimed in his 16-year WWE career. Good for Orton focusing this match on the championship at stake instead of the aforementioned list that should (God willing) never be updated.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Aiden English

– English references La La Land, proclaiming himself Ryan Gosling and labeling his LA surroundings as “Smog-filled and bland.” Rusev grins as English vows to prove to Nakamura that he’s the true artiste. Even bashing their city doesn’t stop the fans from chanting for Rusev Day.

– Good to see that Nakamura still works here. The crowd supports him and the concept of Rusev Day in equal measures early. This dynamic backfires when they chant for Rusev Day after the occasion’s namesake clocks Nakamura with a roundhouse kick.

– English doles out a significant amount of punishment to the Royal Rumble winner. Saxton usefully reasons that Nakamura may be distracted and looking ahead to who his WrestleMania opponent would be.

– Nakamura floors English with a flying boot. Rusev exhorts his partner to fight back by repeatedly barking, “Up!” English offers no resistance as Nakamura maintains the upper hand, ending the match with a Kinshasa.

Result: Shinsuke Nakamura pinned Aiden English after a Kinshasa.

Grade: B-

– Nakamura’s exit is blocked by Cena’s music and reappearance. The two competitors come face-to-face and point to the WrestleMania sign.

WWE Champion AJ Styles vs. John Cena (non-title)

– If Cena wins, he gets inserted into what would become a six-pack challenge match for the WWE championship at Fastlane. He doesn’t give Styles an inch early, transitioning twice to a reverse chinlock when Styles kicks out of early pin attempts. Cena’s breathless attack mirrors his desperate attitude toward clinching a spot at WrestleMania.

– Most veteran wrestlers should be congratulated for expanding their movesets. Conversely, Cena should learn how to execute his newer maneuvers better (a tornado DDT that rammed Styles’ skull into his thigh, a TKO where you couldn’t tell if he was ending the move in a Stunner or an RKO) or stop performing them.

– Upon returning from the final commercial break, we see full replays of Cena and Styles kicking out of the other man’s finishers. The production team should go to split screens if they want to show these replays. They make you wonder what action you’re missing in real time.

– Styles misses a Lionsault, while Cena hits a “Code Red” and locks in the STF. Styles breaks the hold, evades a Cena charge in the turnbuckles, and bashes Cena with a Phenomenal Forearm for a near-fall. Later, Styles spills out of the ring after an Attitude Adjustment, then dives out of the line of fire as Cena misses a tackle and smashes into the steel stairs. As they showed in 2016 and 2017, these two superstars are magnificent as they race toward the finish line in their matches.

– As Cena recuperates on the arena floor, Styles breaks the referee’s count, insisting that he wants a victory in the ring. Cena repays his sportsmanship by tossing Styles through the announce table with an AA. Mr. Hustle/Loyalty/Respect then rolls into the ring in pursuit of a cheap countout win.

– Cool sequence here in which Styles joins hands with a front-row spectator to help him regain his feet. He just beats the ten count. Cena pounds the mat in frustration. Seeing some definite parallels here to Stone Cold Steve Austin’s demeanor prior to WrestleMania X-Seven. Styles counters another AA attempt into the Calf Crusher. After teasing a tapout, Cena lifts Styles into the AA, landing it for the three-count.

Result: John Cena beat AJ Styles with the Attitude Adjustment. He is added to the Six-Pack Challenge WWE Championship match at Fastlane.

Grade: A-

After the match, Owens and Zayn skulk toward the ring. Cena readies himself for a fight, but is attacked first by Corbin, who puts the boots to him. KO and Sami lend their hands to punish Cena and Styles. Ziggler enters the fray, superkicking Corbin and Zayn. He feigns an alliance with Cena and Styles before nailing AJ with a strike. Cena observes this treachery, and drops Ziggler with an AA. As we go off air, Styles has crawled to the apron and looks set to possibly deliver a Phenomenal Forearm to Cena. We’ll never know, however, as SmackDown goes off the air so Josh Duhamel can tell us who shot Biggie and Pac.

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