Why ‘Rinsing’ Isn’t As Bad As You Think

The phenomenon of ‘rinsing’ is nothing new. Woman posts pretty pictures online, man buys them gifts in exchange for basically nothing in return. Presumably there also men and people of other genders and sexualities who engage in similar activities, but it tends to be heterosexual cis-gendered females that bare the brunt of the social media backlash. But why are these people being treat with disgust? Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. Here’s why:

Being sexualised without your permission is demeaning. The choice to sexualise yourself, assuming that you’re not a minor and are fully aware of the risks, is not something that other people get a say in. If you’ve ever had an Instagram account, you will notice that it is packed with young people posing and pouting, showing off their swimwear, their best outfits or their finely chiselled abs – of course, your average user isn’t offered gifts for doing so, but I’m sure many would happily accept them if they were. A ‘rinser’ is just somebody who has figured out how to best appeal to these generous and lonely strangers who get their kicks from a brief chat or admiring pictures of them.

‘Rinsing’ is not deceitful and it is not the same as sex work. Sex work is a perfectly valid industry to work in, of course, but the two shouldn’t be confused. Although ‘rinsing’ does provide a service, there is a distinct difference. They will not send nude photographs, provide erotic chat services or meet their benefactors, nor is there a promise of long-term internet companionship. It is often made clear that any gifts received are exactly that and nothing is owed in return, although many are willing to comfort people going through hard times through a private chat or phone call, providing that the conversation remains in line with those boundaries.

However, the phenomenon is not limited to those who post sexy pictures. Popular users on forums or websites such as Tumblr may provide links to their Amazon wishlist and find that people are willing to buy these items for them in return for just the pleasure of their shared knowledge, life advice or to boost their own popularity through being mentioned in posts of gratitude. This even happens in online gaming communities, where people may be bought rare virtual items. We can take from that that the average online gifter is not necessarily a ‘dirty old man getting his kicks from looking at young girls’. A gift may be from another woman, saying ‘Thank you for the make-up tips’, it may be a fellow forum addict saying ‘Thank you for brightening my day with your posts’, or more importantly, as a subtle way of saying ‘I was having very dark thoughts until your words/pictures helped turned things around’.

Whether you agree with it or not, ‘rinsers’ provide a service – even if it’s just five minutes of their time or giving people images to admire or aspire to. Realistically, nothing is stopping anyone from providing the same service and sometimes I wonder if that’s what all the aggro is really about – the jealousy of not being able to market themselves as effectively to their desired audience, the need to vilify it simply because ‘I could do that, but…’ is most easily backed up with a false sense of morality, rather than the admission that they are lacking in the required self-confidence or social/business acumen.