Send in the Clowns: Boris Johnson to stand at the next General Election

Boris Johnson yesterday announced that he’ll be standing for Parliament in 2015. Yes, this man:

Boris Johnson

The surprise announcement was backed by David Cameron, who took to Twitter to say this:

On the face of it, a very nice sentiment from Johnson’s party leader, Prime Minister, and former Bullingdon club associate, but if I were Cameron I’d be quite troubled indeed. Boris Johnson is a popular figure, not only within his own party, but amongst the electorate as a whole. He’s the closest thing the UK has to a ‘celebrity’ politician thanks to his oafish antics, such as getting stuck on a zip wire and performing a rugby tackle in a charity football match.

That’s all well and good, everybody loves seeing a politician make a bit of a fool of themselves. Sarah Palin, for example, gave us a good old chuckle at the sheer lunacy of American politics. Rob Ford, the crack-smoking Toronto mayor, was absolute box office. Even some of Boris’ antics are amusing.

My fear is something that the media has been speculating about all day; that Johnson will take the party leadership should Cameron surrender his residence of Number 10 to Ed Miliband. This would mean that this oafish moron could, one day, be the leader of our country. And the worst part? People would probably vote for him.

It defies my understanding that people would actually vote for this guy, but he’s been elected to Parliament before, and won two London mayoral elections. I get it, guys. He’s weird, eccentric, silly. He makes people laugh. But when it comes to politics, I can’t see why these are qualities that would make someone electable. Going back to Rob Ford and Sarah Palin, it’s really funny when politicians consistently make an arse of themselves except when they’re representing your country. This means that everyone having lived in London since the last mayoral election in 2012 is part of an electorate that chose this man to run their city. If I lived in London, I’d be a little miffed about this particular detail. If he eventually becomes our Prime Minister, I’ll be very miffed indeed.

This worries me not only because I disagree with Boris politically (another story for another time) but because I don’t want this man representing our country. Can you imagine Boris bumbling around a global summit, the UN, or the White House, generally looking like a prat in front of the world’s press? Say what you like about David Cameron, but at least he manages to look stately. Boris Johnson is every terrible stereotype the Americans have about us rolled into one. Stereotypically posh accent. Bad teeth. Eccentric to the point of being a laughing stock. Self deprication. The list goes on.

My overall message to you is this: whatever your political views, please see past this guy’s unkempt exterior. At the end of the day, he is a very educated man, having received a 2:1 from Oxford University, so whilst he may come across as a bit of an idiot, his public persona likely has a touch of calculated falsehood to it.

There may come a day sometime within the next few years when Johnson is leading the Tory charge to Whitehall, and you’ll have the choice between voting for him or one of his opponents. Please, please, please, inform that vote, and even if you do choose to vote for Boris, do it because you like his policies, not because he once rugby tackled someone in a football match and you found it really funny.

Some of the coverage you find on Cultured Vultures contains affiliate links, which provide us with small commissions based on purchases made from visiting our site. We cover gaming news, movie reviews, wrestling and much more.