How Gods of Egypt Should’ve Been Cast

Want to know the most unbelievable thing about Gods of Egypt? It’s not that it’s set in a world where giant snakes vomit flames, chariots are pulled by huge beetles, and blinged-out gods hurtle around in spaceships. No, it’s that in a film which kicked off production in 2014, with a bulging budget of 140 million, no one involved in the creative process looked around and said, “This is a really bad idea.”

Ignoring the fact that the film is so hilariously bad the director actually apologized months ahead of its release, Gods of Egypt is symptomatic of a cultural affliction – one which would rather leech the melanin out of Hollywood than give black roles to black actors. So with that in mind, here’s how it should’ve been done, complete with a cast of African and Middle Eastern descent.

Note: most of those listed are big names themselves, putting to rest the suggestion that the mostly-white cast were recruited as box office draws.

 

Rami Malek as Bek/Brenton Thwaites

Can someone explain to me how the guy who once played an actual pharaoh in another Hollywood flick wasn’t cast in a movie about Ancient Egypt? Who called the shots on this one? Not only is Malek Egyptian himself – before immigrating to the US, his father was a tour guide, showing camera-clutching Westerners around the dunes of Cairo – but he’s no stranger to the traditional jewel-studded garb and fancy headgear.

 

Omar Metwally as Horus/Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

Some might remember Omar from the last Twilight film. (Malek was in there too, for about five minutes. In fact, Omar basically played Malek’s surrogate father in that one, as well. So a reunion would’ve been kind of fitting, in a way.) He’s half-Egyptian, and boasts a degree in history from UC Berkeley, so maybe his presence on set would’ve encouraged a little less flouting of facts – as much as possible, anyway. Considering all the spaceships and giant monsters sprinkled in the first couple minutes of the trailer, it’s a wonder the writers even separated their pyramids from their Parthenons.

 

Idris Elba as Set/Gerard Butler

Anyone else think Elba would make a brilliant god of war? He did it once in Thor, after all – for those who’re a little fuzzy on their Marvel know-how, he played Heimdall, the dude with the winged helmet and the gigantic sword – as well as its sequel, and briefly reprised his role in Avengers: Age of Ultron.

 

Yasmine Al Masri as Zaya/Courtney Eaton

Of Palestinian and Egyptian descent, Yasmine is no stranger to challenging roles. She took on not one, but two parts in Quantico – remember that uncomfortably similar How to Get Away with Murder knock-off? Yeah, that’s the one – as Nimah and Raina, twins and talented FBI recruits whose secret identities (no one else knows they’re twins) are just one of many twists in a labyrinthine narrative.

 

Morgan Freeman as Ra/Geoffrey Rush

In Egyptian mythology, as depicted on tomb engravings and papyrus scrolls, Ra is the supreme god of the sun, the benevolent lord of all creation. So it seems fitting that Freeman, the closest thing we have to a god personified – sometimes literally, thanks to Bruce Almighty and its ill-fated sequel, Evan Almighty – should play him.

No matter your thoughts on cultural exploitation and systemic whitewashing in Hollywood, it’s safe to say this one would’ve benefitted from a little less clunky CGI and a bit more regard for the source material. Hit us with your thoughts!