8 Left Field Predictions For The Game Awards 2019

The Game Awards has rolled around once again, with the 2019 edition scheduled for tonight. The ceremony emanating from Los Angeles will honour some of the biggest and best games from the past 12 months, and also Death Stranding, but people aren’t tuning in for the awards anymore. If anything, The Game Awards is nothing more than a glorified E3 presentation, which is weird. Is it a gaming show or an awards show?

Regardless, there’s going to be a host of announcements and news to wake up to from The Game Awards come Friday morning, so we’ve decided to make some predictions. Not normal predictions, mind you, but some left-field predictions that have at least a marginal chance of happening, similar to what we’ve done for E3 for the past two years.

Huh, guess The Game Awards are like E3 after all.

 

1. Geoff Keighley To Declare The Game Awards To Be The Most Important Vote Taking Place On December 12th

In a blinding lack of self-awareness, the gaming industry’s original gangster Geoff Keighley will take to the stage to declare The Game Awards to be the single most important vote taking place on December 12th, 2019. Ordinarily, he’d be right, but as The Game Awards are taking place, Britain will be waiting with bated breath on the results of a general election. The entire future of the UK hangs in the balance, but sure, we’ll care more about whether or not Jump Force will win the best fighting game award.

 

2. Game Of The Year Award Statue To Be A Can Of Monster Energy Drink

The traditional statue used for the The Game Awards is some weird looking design that looks like some kind of car ornament. Not a classy one though, but one that looks like it’d be glued hastily to a run-down Pontiac. However, we’re predicting that the Game of the Year award statue will undergo a little makeover. Just a small one, you’ll barely notice it.

Instead of the usual offering, this year will see the statue replaced by a can of Monster Energy. No one will know why, though Geoff will be spotted holding multiple briefcases with dollar bills falling out. Oh, and the category will be sponsored by AMC’s Ride With Norman Reedus, with Mr Reedus himself presenting the award to the winner. No idea who the winner will be though. No sir.

 

3. Capcom To Announce Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City Remake

Resident Evil 3 Remake was one of the worst kept secrets in gaming, possibly ever, but it’s real now, and Capcom have never denied the possibility of more remakes in the future. Be careful what you wish for though, as we’re predicting that Capcom is going to give the people what they want, but not how they wanted it.

At The Game Awards, Capcom will announce a remake of Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City, the much maligned co-op shooter from the previous generation. But that’s not all. Capcom will also probably have a remake of Umbrella Corps in the works, because why the hell not? You all wanted more Resident Evil remakes, so here you go. Enjoy. We’ll be playing a new version of Resident Evil Survivor before you know it.

 

4. Waluigi Announced For Another Platform Fighting Game

Tired of not being revealed as a character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, being resigned to an assist trophy while characters like Terry Bogard make their Smash debut, Waluigi will finally make his debut in another platform fighting game. Time to take his tennis racquet, fashionable moustache and undeniably massive penis to greener pastures.

Honestly, I don’t know which platforming fighting game he’ll join, because I can’t decide which is the funniest. With the power of the workshop mode, Waluigi in Rivals of Aether is basically a certainty, though there’s a certain humour to me about the idea of the Purple Wonder being announced for a PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale 2. Wrap your head around that one.

Meanwhile, Nintendo will announce something like Robert De Niro or Segata Sanshiro as a Smash character. In fact, I’d love to see Sanshiro in Smash, but poor Waluigi can’t catch a break. Expect to see him show up in Slap City or Brawlout, or even Brawlhalla. Gosh, there’s a lot of platform fighters around these days.

 

5. More Awards Than Ever To Get A Passing Mention, If That

For a show called The Game Awards, it feels like less and less time is actually devoted to the awards themselves. In 2019’s edition, we’re expecting that most of the awards will be relegated to the pre-show, with awards like Game of the Year to receive a bit of time at most. Following on from that, 2020’s award winners will be confined to a ResetEra thread that’ll go live at the top of the show, just to make more time for all the announcements.

 

6. Anthem, WWE 2K20 And Google Stadia To Receive Services To The Gaming Industry Awards

2019 has been an incredible year for gaming, but there’s been a couple of duds, chief among them being Anthem, WWE 2K20 and Google Stadia. That said, they all hold value in their own unique way, which is why all three of them will be honoured with special “Services To The Gaming Industry Awards”.

Anthem will be the game that’s remembered for teaching the industry that people don’t care as much about live service loot shooters anymore, especially when they’re as bad at launch as Anthem was, while WWE 2K20 reminded us of the importance of not releasing a broken damn game. Finally, Stadia held the lesson that game streaming is cool, but it’s absolutely not ready for mass roll out.

 

7. Geese!

You heard it here first: there will be geese at The Game Awards. Whether that’s something to do with House House’s smash hit success Untitled Goose Game or SNK’s villainous Geese Howard, I have no idea. Then again, now that I’ve said goose and the word Smash in the same sentence, that’s another prediction for you. That bastard goose will be a character in Smash Bros. at some point.

 

8. Josef Fares To Fuck Something I Guess, I Don’t Know Go Away

Look, writing jokes is hard, okay? These ones aren’t even that funny, either. Anyway, the prediction is that absolute maverick Josef Fares shows up once again with a live microphone, giving the TV censors a mild heart attack. I’m not really sure what he’s going to end up fucking (fingers crossed for battle passes), so let us know your best suggestion in the comments below.