10 Signs You’re In A Dangerous Relationship

As described by Madrid-born psychologist Professor Iñaki Piñuel in his Spanish language video ‘Love with Psychopaths: Signs of Danger in a Relationship’, a psychopath isn’t always an axe-wielding murderer or a person being dragged off in a straitjacket, there are psychopaths who come much better camouflaged and are much more efficient in their operations.

These people aren’t in jail, nor do they have criminal records – they are fully integrated within society. We know and have undoubtedly befriended many of them without realising. The worst part is that it is usually not until after a relationship ends that we realise we have wasted our time and love on a psychopath. So what are the signs?

1. Your partner will do anything to get what they want.
They’ll hurt you, break your trust and go against your agreements without remorse. They will do as they please because they lack even the most basic feelings of guilt. However, they may be good actors – so watch out for them repeatedly making the same mistake and never ‘learning’ of the impact it has on you.

2. You partner won’t cooperate with you.
They might say they love you, but they won’t compromise with you on anything. The truth is, the only person psychopaths care about are themselves. This could refer to important, life-changing decisions or finding that you’re going to yet another couples event alone because they’ve decided it’s Xbox night.

3. Your partner is manipulative.
They see everything they do as a means to an end – a selfish end where everything works out well for them, destroying their partners and using people along the way, whilst still maintaining a sparkling social image. Nobody could believe that this wonderful person could harbour all these hidden agendas.

4. Your partner could ‘get anyone’ and they know it.
This is part of their manipulative skill – they can have a new partner in their bed or on their arm within minutes. In fact, it’s like a sport for them. If someone is particularly difficult to obtain, they’ll see it as a challenge, but not because they want the person – rather the feeling of having achieved something ‘impossible’.

5. Your partner lacks emotions.
A psychopath has only superficial emotions, meaning that whilst they may seem passionate during the more intimate moments of your relationship, when it comes to the deep and significant conversations, they’re totally inaccessible. They’re not afraid of losing you and they’re not afraid of being caught doing something that they agreed not to because they lack the basic anxieties presented in normal human beings.

6. Your partner is a good liar.
They have a great ability to tell lies and they know exactly who to use them on – honest and genuine people who are likely to trust them and will later become their victims. They have ways to get information out of you and to earn your trust, including but not limited to fabricating or exaggerating personal traumas to gain your sympathy.

7. Your partner fixates on certain people.
When they see somebody as a potential path to their objective, they’ll spend a lot of time and energy flexing their manipulative and seductive skills on them as a part of their strategy but beware – this ‘friendliness’ will soon convert into psychological abuse, which conversely leaves their victim feeling more dependent on them, making it more difficult to leave them, which isn’t unsimilar to cases of Stockholm Syndrome.

8. Your partner lacks conscience.
They rely on the fact that we expect them to think like us, normal human beings who feel the weight of responsibility when they do something wrong. This isn’t the case with psychopaths, who have no problem leaving you feeling abandoned or humiliated. They use this traumatic bonding to their advantage, to draw their victims closer in the pursuit of their hidden agenda.

9. Your partner is intensely romantic… sometimes.
They will bombard their victim with emotions out of the blue, making the victim feel like the love of their life and extremely confused on the former issues mentioned here. In reality, they are with a master manipulator and not a troubled romantic in need of their support.

10. You experience harsh ‘comedowns’.
A relationship with a psychopath can be compared to a drug addiction. With so much emotional confusion in a cycle of intense passion followed by coldness, hurt and betrayal, it becomes addictive as the victim chases the passionate moments and becomes extremely depressed throughout the others. This makes them subordinate to their oppressor, eager to please in the hope of being rewarded with warmth.

h/t: Iñaki Piñuel

If you’re feeling all too familiar with any of the issues mentioned in this list, it’s time to plan your own strategy. Contact your friends and family and speak to them about your concerns. Invite them to spend time with you and your partner to observe their behaviour. If you decide to leave your partner, be sure to sever all contact with them. Finally, don’t try to play them at their game – you can only lose.