The Best Of The Worst: 10 Bad Movies To Fuel Your Masochism

Is it better to create something that is averagely good, or to create something so bad, it somehow gains fame and popularity, even if it isn’t in the way you expected it? Recently I powered through the Rooster Teeth Theater Mode Marathon, a show where the crew members of the entertainment company watch ‘the best-of-the-worst’, something which inspired me to write this list.

There are films that are so bad, they are good. Additionally, there are films which are absolute travesties to the creative arts, but still have some small shred of enjoyment deep down. Here are my top ten picks for films that fit into both these descriptions: these films range from “I mean it was bad, but I still got a laugh out of it” to “Oh, dear god, why?”

 

1. Thankskilling (2008)

When the cover of the DVD box art puts a warning to point out that there are boobs in the first second of the movie, you know it’s going to be a unique kind of awful. Featuring a murder-obsessed turkey with a potty mouth to rival Malcolm Tucker’s, the film is full to the brim with stupidity, following your traditional teen slacker flick with some bad acting. With that being said, it was popular and liked enough to get a sequel (which, unless you truly hate yourself or just like bad movies, you should not watch, for the love of god. Thankskilling at least has a comprehensible narrative.) Approach at your own risk.

 

2. THE DEAD UNDEAD (2010)

Vampires going toe to toe with zombies? Sounds like some testosterone filled fun. Right? Oh, good god, no. Between the forgettable characters, bland scenes and editing, there is little to enjoy other than how painfully stupid elements of this film are. For example, you want to know how the zombies become zombies in this flick? They are vampires who drank the blood of cows with Mad Cow Disease…I’ll just let that sink in. Also, Vernon Wells – Bennet from Commando – and Luke Goss – Jared from Blade 2 – are in this movie, so that’s about the only cool thing in this film.

 

3. Troll 2 (1990)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GO6JVBygYxQ

Is this a terrible horror movie or an unintentionally brilliant comedy? I’ll stick with the former. It is best known for its meme status with the scene of a boy watching a woman getting eaten, played out with all the conviction of a poor parody. What else can I say about this movie? The trolls are actually goblins in this, this ‘sequel’ is in no way related to the first troll movie and is generally just a cinematic mess. So, the goblins are vegetarian, but they want to turn the humans into plants, so they can eat them…ok? A fun little mess to watch.

 

4. There’s Nothing Out There (1991)

This 1991 horror comedy is known for mirroring Scream in the fact that one of the characters is a self-aware horror fan and the dialogue pokes fun at the genre. It follows a group of teenagers who get away from the city from time off, only to encounter an alien who intends to kill the guys and mate with the girls. Ew. If you fancy yourself a movie buff/hipster and want to watch a self-aware horror movie before Scream made it cool, check this flick out. It’s bad, and at times just pure cheesy, but still worth a watch.

 

5. Norbit (2007)

What could we add to the traditional formula of romance movies that’ll make it funny? How about we make the wife obese and abusive to the skinny nerdy husband? Perfect! With cast members such as Eddie Murphy and Terry Crews, you’d think this film had the potential to be a good comedy, but no. Did you know that Eddie Murphy got three Golden Raspberry Awards for his performance in this film? In fact, this movie got a lot of Golden Raspberry Nominations, and even two Academy Award Nominations for best makeup, which was admittedly outstanding.

 

6. Battlefield Earth (2000)

You ever wanted to see John Travolta with dreadlocks? Well, this is the film for you! Based on L. Ron Hubbard’s novel, it follows the story of a human rebellion against aliens who dominate the earth in the year 3000. Notorious for being one of the worst films of all time, it has received such colourful responses as Roger Ebert describing it as akin to “taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad, it’s unpleasant in a hostile way” and Rottentomatoes summarising it as “ugly, campy and poorly acted.” Perhaps adapting a story from the father of Scientology was a recipe for disaster. Perfect if you’re a sci-fi fan and have a bad case of self-hatred.

 

7. Sharknado

There are very few films that give away how bad they are just by the title. There are also few films which can be summarized in their title. Sharknado is a rare gem that falls into both of those brackets. It follows a tornado striking a coast side town in America and said tornado is full of sharks. Surprisingly, it also has some actors with decent projects under their belts, like Tara Strong from the American Pie franchise and the late John Heard from the Home Alone series. Despite how bad it is, it has an element of self-awareness: it feels like one of those films that knows it’s going to be bad and has fun with it. Otherwise, someone will need to interview writer Thunder Levin (yes! Really!) and ask him how he expected a film called Sharknado to turn out.

 

8. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-y53CRSF9Q

Does anyone remember a 1963 Alfred Hitchcock horror film called The Birds? It follows the interesting premise of having birds suddenly group together and go hostile against humans. Take that, replace the efforts of a talented cast and crew from the golden age of cinema and replace it with less-than-mediocre acting and cheesy effects, and BAM! You got yourself Birdemic: Shock and Terror! A personal highlight from the film is when some of these birds divebomb a town kamikaze-style…and they explode. How? No one knows. This film and The Birds serves as a good comparative study of how different interpretations of the same idea can produce drastic results.

 

9. The Room (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPBPa2BQFRM

This film is just as much a tragic masterpiece as it is a bad film. It follows the last days of Johnny as his fiancé begins an affair with his best friend. The thing is that this project was Tommy Wiseau’s attempt at making it in Hollywood. Thanks to the internet and its status as a meme, it was popular enough to create a cult following and even spawned a docudrama about Tommy Wiseau’s struggle to create this film, The Disaster Artist, starring James and Dean Franco. So, in Tommy Wiseau’s defence, despite how notoriously bad this film is, it does have heart and, while it may not be the fame he expected, I suppose he made it in a way. So… Yay, I guess.

 

10. Santa With Muscles (1996)

Hulk Hogan plays Santa…with Muscles. Truly the epitome of unique stories. The plot follows Blake, played by Hogan, a self-made millionaire who believes he is Santa after an accident happens. That’s when an orphanage comes under threat from an evil scientist, and our wrestler comes in to save the day. Truly an award-winning premise! Honestly, the whole thing just sounds and looks like a kid’s fantasy of what a good action movie is. It feels almost satirical. Fancy some holiday cheer with an injection of stupidity? This is the flick for you.

Do you know any dreadful films you think should have made the list? Let us know in the comments!