BOOK REVIEW: Catacombs of Terror! by Stanley Donwood

catacombs-of-terror

Stanley Donwood is probably best known as the “in house” artist for Radiohead. He’s designed nearly all of the artwork for both Radiohead and Thom Yorke’s solo works since 1994 when he designed the cover for the My Iron Lung single. Donwood has also been a writer, mainly writing short stories, several of which are available on his website. Sometime in late 2001 to early 2002, Downwood made a bet with the owner of a small press that he could write a novel in one month. The result of that bet is Catacombs of Terror!

Due to several difficulties, the initial run on Hedonist Press was very limited. Few, if any copies of that edition survive. After being out of print for over a decade, a new edition has been released from Tyrus Books. This edition includes an introduction chronicling the difficulties the manuscript went through and how it was nearly lost when Donwood drunkenly dropped the only copy of it in a fire. It’s a fun read in and of itself. The problem is, it ends up sounding too much like apologia for the novel’s flaws.

“I needed to think. I walked the wet streets. And I realised that Friday night at closing time was not the kind of time to walk the streets and think. The usual howling gang of drunks weaved around, screaming like badly dressed baboons. I guess they were on their way to refresh the puke slicks in the alleyway outside my office. Yeah, well. Someone had to do it, and I’d rather it didn’t have to be me.”

Catacombs of Terror! is set in Bath, England and follows Martin Valpolicella, a private investigator down on his luck. One day, he receives a message stating that he’s going to be framed for a murder. With the help of his journalist friend, Colin Kafka, he sets out to figure out who’s setting him up. Along the way, he discovers a series of tunnels underneath the city and a cult filled with members of the city’s elites.

As expected from a book that was apparently written in only a month, Catacombs of Terror! is a pulpy and fast paced read. Its a fun read. The type of book that can be read in a few hours. Donwood’s prose is mostly simple, but does show some flashes of solid noirish writing.

Despite that, it is a flawed book. The book especially seems to get away from itself towards the end. Donwood introduces a lot of concepts, especially in relation to the cult, that don’t go anywhere. One example is that there is a lot of build up to the fact that the tunnels under Bath are filled with man-eating pigs. There is a lot of backstory given to this. However, when Martin and his colleagues enter the tunnels during the climax, there is only a brief scene where they confront the pigs. Not only that, it ends up coming across like the pigs have nothing to do with the cult, the main antagonists of the story. The book ends up feeling like the first draft of a much better one.

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