Last week, Shinsuke Nakamura was injured after reportedly being bitten by a dog, rendering him unable to wrestle Jeff Hardy for the U.S. Championship on SmackDown. But the blue brand’s dog days are over. Tonight, Jeff puts that title on the line in an “Independence Day United States Open Challenge.” Yes, European friends, he’s a day early in offering that opportunity. WWE Champion AJ Styles will also wrestle, albeit in a non-title match, against Aiden English. And, in what would ideally be a brutal, Vader-esque squash match, Asuka squares off against James Ellsworth.
Intro: We watch a recap package of Daniel Bryan wrestling Harper in last week’s main event, then getting pummeled by the Bludgeon Brothers after a disqualification victory. Kane made the save, and there was much rejoicing. WWE interspersed clips from their 2013 run together to help explain this reunion (especially the hugging).
Team Hell No joins Renee Young mid-ring as we enter the live arena. Young states that they’ve been successful despite their “complicated relationship.” Bryan says that sometimes they fight, sometimes they hug, but they always deliver when they enter the ring. Together, he claimed, they’re unstoppable. Kane boasted that they not only stood up against the Shield together, they graduated from anger management – “with honors.” They’ve been through hell, and Team Hell No is back and better than ever.
Kane told Young that he came back because Bryan’s temper can get him in trouble. Even so, DB will always have a demon watching his back. Bryan interrupted to stipulate that he wouldn’t say “always.” He reminded Kane that the Big Red Monster tried to end his career by tombstoning him on the concrete floor, ring-steps, and announce table. Kane stammers out a good reason why he did all that.
FIGHTING WORDS: “Look, everybody likes to win.” – Kane, explaining why he tried to maim Daniel Bryan in what wasn’t even a match.
Kane says this reunion marks a fresh start. To beat the Bludgeon Brothers, they must concentrate on what unites them. Bryan isn’t so sure, reminiscing about the time that Kane tried to abduct his wife, Brie. Kane clarifies the key word – “Tried.” He admits they’ve had their differences, but says he’s always had Bryan’s back. Bryan disputes this claim. They get into a faceoff and yell “Yes” and “No” back at each other.
The Usos interrupt this barking. They ask whether Bryan and Kane deserve a title shot at Extreme Rules, then answer their own question with a “Hell nah!” Jey Uso questions whether Team Hell No got Paige to grant them a title shot because they hugged. The Usos brag that they can hug as well. So they do. Four times. The crowd cheers their sibling bond. Bryan stops the hugs by challenging the Usos to fight them. Paige appears and books the match for tonight. If the Usos win, they will be added to what would be a triple-threat SmackDown tag-team championship match at Extreme Rules.
Fine job by WWE of conceding that these two men were mortal enemies the last time they worked together. And, in the spirit of Team Hell No, turning Kane’s murderous intentions into comedic fodder.
Hardy cuts a backstage promo. Jeff starts with, “The bald eagle is a powerful, aerial beast, soaring on thermal convection currents …” He ends by declaring his U.S. title challenge “Open”.
Backstage, Asuka says a few things that were tough to decipher, then tells Ellsworth he’s not ready for Asuka.
U.S. Champion Jeff Hardy vs. The Miz
Hardy hits an early sit-down jawbreaker. Miz counters a subsequent Twist of Fate attempt, then misses his corner clothesline, crotching himself on the middle turnbuckle. As Jeff goes up top to try the end the match, Miz dips to ringside to avoid a Swanton Bomb. Hardy gets impatient and chases Miz back inside the ring, where the A-Lister puts the boots to him. He can’t keep Hardy down for long, missing a big boot, then rolling back to ringside after again staving off the Twist of Fate.
Back inside, Miz hurls Hardy to ringside. Miz misses a wrecking-ball dropkick, however, then gets clotheslined on the arena floor. Hardy leaps off the apron with another clothesline, then slams Miz’s head repeatedly into the announce table like it’s a turnbuckle. Jeff brings the match inside the ring, getting a two-count on Miz before applying a reverse-chinlock. Miz creates separation by throwing Hardy into the ropes, then stopping him with a knee to the gut. Jeff rallies by ramming Miz’s skull into all the turnbuckles he can find, but his momentum is short-lived, as Miz finally hits his big boot to put Hardy down.
Miz attempts to slow the pace by grounding Hardy with a submission. Hardy fights out and gets up to speed with a flying forearm, inverted atomic drop, and double-legdrop. A basement dropkick earns a two-count. Hardy backdrops Miz to the floor, then nails a sliding dropkick that propels Miz into the barricade. Hardy takes a running jump off the ring-steps toward Miz, who moves, sending Jeff crashing into that barricade. Both men get slowly to their feet, with Miz grabbing a wounded Hardy as we go to commercial.
Back from break, Miz limps around the ring before Hardy lays him out with a kick and collapses. Tom Phillips informs us that Miz had a figure-four locked on Hardy during the break, which explains why Jeff is clutching at his knee. As they try to stand, both men throw punches. Miz ducks a punch and goes for the Skullcrushing Finale. Hardy shoves Miz away, but eats two boots when he goes for the Hardiac Arrest. Both men fail to execute their finishers (Twist of Fate/Skullcrushing Finale) before Miz lands a DDT for a near-fall. Miz hits his corner clothesline, but Jeff ducks under a top-rope double-axhandle and barrels into Miz with the Whisper in the Wind.
A pained Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate. Miz counters with a schoolboy, placing his boots on the ropes for leverage. The referee stops counting and argues with Miz over what he saw. A ticked-off Miz turns around directly into a Twist of Fate. Hardy flattens Miz with a Swanton Bomb for the victory.
Result: Jeff Hardy pinned Miz after a Swanton Bomb.
Grade: B
Ellsworth cuts a locker-room promo touting his muscles and brains. He promises to end the battle of the sexes tonight, as “Ellsworth is exquisite.”
Byron Saxton hosts the inaugural 3rd of July Pancake-Eating Contest. Sporting a 1920s county fair hat, Saxton introduces The New Day as his fellow announcers rip on him. Saxton announced that each New Day member would have five minutes to eat as many pancakes as they could. This reminds me of participating in an eating contest last year at a Washington, D.C. fair so I didn’t have to spend money on dinner.
New Day tears into their red, white, and blue pancakes. After ten seconds, the lights go out and Sanity’s music hits. As New Day look to the stage, Sanity ambush them from behind. Alexander Wolfe heaves Kofi over the top rope like a shot put. In a notably nasty move, Eric Young throws Woods face-first into a leg of the pancake table. For his part, Killian Dain throws Big E into the ring-steps, then over the announce table. Back in the ring, Young drives Woods through the table with a top-rope elbow drop. Tons of quick cuts with the camera work as Sanity mugs and stomps around the ring after this assault.
We see clips of Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs playing tennis in the Battle of the Sexes. Tonight, we watch an equally important moment in sports history and women’s equality. Well, no, we won’t. The inter-gender match is next.
Asuka vs. James Ellsworth
As these two prepare to lock up, Carmella prances out in some super-sparkly pants. Ellsworth does three push-ups and some half-ass stretches to limber up. When the bell rings, Asuka shoves him to the mat. Ellsworth slides to ringside to escape, then reengages. Asuka smacks him with some open-hand strikes, then twirls him around with an airplane spin. As Ellsworth tries not to spew, Asuka clocks him with a slap and spinning back-fist. Ellsworth takes off running and Asuka chases him through the crowd.
Result: Asuka and James Ellsworth “fought” to a double countout.
Grade: D
After the bell rings, Asuka catches Ellsworth as he tries to climb back over the barricade. Carmella pushes Asuka into the barricade, then trash-talks her prior to grabbing Ellsworth by the hair and berating him on their way backstage.
Bryan finds Kane and demands an apology for his repeated misconduct. Such as, “May 21, 2012. You chokeslammed me for absolutely no reason.” The next day, according to Bryan’s printed-out records (from which he’s reciting this litany of grievances), Kane called Bryan’s house and did nothing but breathe heavily for 20 minutes. The day after that, Bryan found a disemboweled squirrel on his front porch. Kane offers a blanket apology for all alleged misdeeds.
FIGHTING WORDS: “You’re like a brother to me.” – Kane to Daniel Bryan.
“You set your brother on fire.” – Daniel Bryan referencing the Undertaker.
Keeping his eye on the prize, Kane reasons that Team Hell No cannot be stopped if they’re on the same page. He asks Bryan if he’s ready for the Usos. Bryan tosses his naughty list in the air and repeatedly screams, “Yes!”
Phillips announces that Hardy and Nakamura will wrestle for the U.S. championship at Extreme Rules.
Styles enters the ring as fans shout competing “AJ Styles/Rusev Day” chants (the latter of which sounds all-male). This is not what WWE wants to hear when its face champion stands alone in the ring. Styles allows that Rusev is bigger and stronger, but he’s not phenomenal. Rusev walks out with English, telling AJ on his way down the aisle that he doesn’t care how phenomenal he thinks he is. Rusev has his first WWE title opportunity, which falls on his holiday. He threatens to evict P1 from the house that AJ Styles built, and move into that structure himself. A “Rusev Day” chant rings out from the crowd.
WWE Champion AJ Styles vs. Aiden English (non-title)
When the bell rings, Rusev warns Styles over the microphone that he forgot to tell him something. English clubs Styles from behind, prompting Rusev to mutter, “Never mind.” English stomps away at AJ, then beats on him outside the ring. Moving the fight back inside, English throws jabs and whips AJ gut-first into the turnbuckle. Recovering quickly, Styles fires back with chops and forearms. He kicks English hard in the back, then stymies an O’Connor Roll. English rebounds, however, with a swinging neckbreaker for a two-count.
English buries forearms into Styles’ kidneys. When Styles hits back, English stops him with a kick to the stomach. Aiden hits a modified Full Nelson for a two-count, then applies a reverse-chinlock. Styles makes it to his feet, breaks the hold, and lights up English with a flurry of strikes. He nails a seated English with a running forearm, then connects on a running clothesline and Ushigoroshi. AJ calls for the Styles Clash, then transitions into the Calf Crusher when English counters. English can’t make the ropes and taps out.
Result: AJ Styles beat Aiden English via tapout with the Calf Crusher.
Grade: C+
After the match, Rusev pulls Styles from the ring and throws him into the ring post. He blasts AJ with a Machka Kick and bellows. His music hits, which apparently triggers Rusev to toss Styles into the ring and apply the Accolade.
The IIconics shoot a handheld cam video. Peyton Royce vows to expose Becky Lynch tonight for being a has-been who can’t win when it matters most. Royce says she’ll smile when she hurts Lynch. Good to see them focused and serious instead of squealing out terrible impressions on their way to the ring.
Walking backstage with her title, Carmella chastises Ellsworth for scampering away from Asuka. Paige accosts them, telling Ellsworth he can’t run away forever. Mostly because he’s facing Asuka next week in a rematch. She teases Ellsworth that she’ll make his wildest dreams come true, surrounding the ring with female superstars … for a lumberjack match.
Becky Lynch vs. Peyton Royce
Royce powers Lynch into the corner and batters her with shoulder-tackles. Lynch moves when Royce backs up and tries to crush her against the turnbuckles, and hip-tosses Royce across the ring. Billie Kay swipes at Lynch as she runs the ropes. Becky puts on the brakes, then maneuvers Royce to the mat with an O’Connor Roll.
Lynch whips her opponent into the turnbuckle. When Royce backdrops Lynch to the apron, Becky lands on her feet and shoulder-blocks Royce. Kay interjects herself again, forcing Lynch to kick at her and slowing her climb to the top rope. Royce takes advantage by tripping up Lynch, rocking her with a spin kick, then smashing her into the mat with a rolling Death Valley Driver. Peyton gets a near-fall, then slams knees into Becky’s head as she pulls her hair.
Royce applies an abdominal stretch, pressing her elbow into Lynch’s ribs. Becky throws Royce to the mat, breaking the hold, but Peyton gets right back up and chokes Lynch against the middle rope. Royce executes a crisp snap-mare and locks in a seated abdominal stretch. Lynch breaks the hold with a quick schoolgirl pinning combination. She stops Royce with headbutts to the stomach, ducks another spin kick, then delivers a Becksploder. Royce tries to stem the tide by kicking Lynch during a back-body-drop attempt, but Lynch responds with a leg lariat.
Lynch whips Royce in the turnbuckles. Royce fends her off with two boots, then connects on a running knee strike. She picks up Lynch for another rolling Death Valley Driver, but Lynch yanks her to the mat with a crucifix and locks on the Dis-Arm-Her for the win. She’s scored a lot of victories lately, perhaps in preparation for a SmackDown women’s championship match at SummerSlam.
Result: Becky Lynch tapped out Peyton Royce with the Dis-Arm-Her.
Grade: B-
Speaking into a handheld cam, Nakamura ponders why Hardy paints his face. Perhaps he’s a clown or a lunatic. Or maybe he’s ashamed. Nakamura tells us he will take Hardy’s pride, honor, and U.S. championship at Extreme Rules.
Team Hell No vs. The Usos
Bryan and Jimmy Uso start off. Uso grabs a headlock to start, shoulder-tackling Bryan to the mat. Bryan trips Uce with a drop-toehold, then applies a surfboard while tagging Kane. He holds Jimmy while Kane delivers a boot. Kane uppercuts Uso and kicks him down in the corner. He tags Bryan, then whips his partner into the corner for a dropkick to Uso. Bryan can’t hold the advantage, as Jimmy bulls him into his team’s corner. Jey Uso tags in and nails Bryan with a running forearm as his twin holds their opponent. Bryan responds with a dropkick when Uso attempts another running maneuver, and tags Kane.
Kane slams Uso, then misses an elbow drop. Jimmy tags in and goes up top. Kane catches him by the throat, then grabs Jey, heaving them both over the top rope. The Usos land safely, though, and drag Kane under the ropes to the floor. They beat on him with forearms, then slug Bryan. The Usos fly through the ropes in succession to topple Kane, then roll into the ring to peer down at their rivals.
Back from break, Bryan throws right hands and a flying clothesline at Jimmy Uso. He pounds Uso with Yes Kicks, then perches him on the top rope and snares him with a hurricanrana. Bryan bashes Uso with kicks to the chest. Jimmy ducks the roundhouse kick, shoving Bryan through the ropes to the apron. When Bryan tries to fight from that position, Uso wallops him with a spinning enziguri. Jey tags in and clobbers Bryan with a running clothesline on the floor.
Following Bryan back inside the ring, Jey slams Bryan and glares at Kane. Jimmy tags back in for a running hip-block in the corner, getting a two-count. He grounds Bryan with a reverse-chinlock. Bryan rises up and nearly makes it to Kane before Jimmy rips him back to the mat. He tags Jey, who delivers a top-rope chop to Bryan as Jimmy holds him in a side-backbreaker position. Jey immediately tags Jimmy back in, and the twins punish Bryan with a double-wishbone.
Jimmy whips Bryan in the ropes, but cannot corral him. Both men work up a head of steam and collide with each other. They tag out, and Kane runs over Jey with a clothesline and big boot. Kane nearly gets the pinfall with a side-slam, as Jimmy breaks up the cover. Kane cracks him with an uppercut for his trouble, but Jey recovers to dropkick him out of the ring. When Jimmy tries to dive onto Kane at ringside again, Kane seizes him by the neck and chucks him into the barricade. He similarly stifles Jey’s diving attempt by popping him with a right hand.
Kane calls for the chokeslam. Jey stops him with a superkick, tagging in Jimmy. The Usos unleash stereo superkicks on Bryan and Kane. Jimmy tags Jey back into the match. They climb opposite turnbuckles and leap toward Kane for their double-splash. Kane thrusts his arms up, however, and grabs both men by their throats. He maintains his grip as he makes it to his feet, setting up Jimmy for Bryan’s running knee. Kane proceeds to chokeslam Jey for the victory.
Result: Team Hell No beat The Usos when Kane pinned Jey Uso following a chokeslam.
Grade: B+
After the victory, Bryan takes issue with Kane’s “Yes” chants and finger-pointing, telling him “It needs to be bigger. Do it like you mean it.” Kane obliges. They share a hug, and the Bludgeon Brothers surface to stare them down from the entrance ramp.
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