WWE SmackDown Live REVIEW: Full Results, Grades & Highlights 05/29/18

Daniel Bryan

Daniel Bryan takes on Samoa Joe tonight for the first time in WWE. This match could headline a SummerSlam-level event, so it will be interesting to see what kind of “out” WWE gives the loser here. We’ll also watch The New Day wrestle The Miz and The Bar, plus witness a dance-off between Lana and Naomi. If regular dynamics hold for that competition, Lana will switch back to her heel persona for this evening, then be back fighting as a face by Money in the Bank. Last week should’ve demonstrated that fans want to cheer her and Rusev Day. Hopefully, WWE got that message. We’ll see now on SmackDown Live.

Intro: Samoa Joe paces to the ring. He immediately grabs a ladder from under the ring, sets it up under the Money in the Bank briefcase, and takes the luggage. Joe grabs a microphone and tells us that the Bible depicts the ladder as a connection between the earth and heavens. But this ladder would not bring salvation, Joe warned. He promises to unleash a campaign of fear and anxiety on SmackDown that would shake the brand to its core.

Joe vowed to Bryan’s family that he’d be home for Money in the Bank, but he won’t be the same man. Bryan would be drenched in “failure, regret, and missed opportunity.” At this point, Bryan walks onto the entrance ramp to cut off Joe.

FIGHTING WORDS: “You mention my wife or my daughter one more time, and I will break your leg.” – Daniel Bryan to Samoa Joe

Bryan gets in the ring to fight, but the Big Cass theme music sounds off. Cass hobbles onto the ramp sporting a three-piece suit and a crutch under his right armpit. He says their insults are juvenile, but, “what else would I expect from the shrimp and the blimp?” Cass claims this second-chance qualifying nonsense should stop – and it will, due to Paige’s decision.

Cass says that he’ll wrestle Joe for the final MITB spot when he is medically cleared to compete. He poses the obvious question of when he’ll be cleared, then answers it by admitting he’s already cleared. Cass bashes Joe with the crutch, knocking him from the ring. Bryan throws punches at Cass, who reverses an Irish-whip to send Bryan crashing into a ladder propped up against the turnbuckle. Cass smashes Joe and Bryan with the MITB briefcase. He holds up the briefcase in premature triumph. Great promo work from Bryan and Joe prior to the Cassus Interruptus.

Backstage, Shinsuke Nakamura happily drops numbered cards while counting them out from 1-9. He rips up the “10” card and gets intense. He faces Tye Dillinger next.

Paige chances upon Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville backstage. They complain that Asuka didn’t deserve her title opportunity. Paige tells Rose she can fight Asuka tonight and find out what she’s about. Renee Young approaches Paige to ask if Bryan is indeed cast out of the MITB qualifier tonight. Paige says Cass does not speak for her. Since Bryan beat Jeff Hardy last week, he’ll be added to tonight’s Money in the Bank qualifying match, making this bout a triple-threat.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Tye Dillinger

Nakamura starts with knee strikes, and Dillinger responds with chops. Dillinger mounts the middle rope and pelts Nakamura with the “ten” punches. Shinsuke dips to ringside. When Dillinger follows, Nakamura hits him with several kicks and pitches him into the ring. Dillinger gets up and dropkicks Nakamura when he attempts to follow. When Tye tries to spring at Nakamura through the ropes, Shinsuke catches him with a kick to the face.

Back in the ring, Nakamura wraps up Dillinger in a modified cobra clutch. Tye breaks the hold with a jawbreaker, but can’t capitalize, running into a knee to the gut. Nakamura counts Tye out in preparation for his last-man-standing match against WWE Champion AJ Styles. Dillinger does not stay down, and gets nailed with an ax kick. When that move doesn’t keep Tye down, Nakamura buries more knees into Dillinger’s midsection, the last of them his running knee while Tye is splayed across the top rope. Nakamura resumes counting his opponent out; the crowd seems to enjoy chanting alone.

Dillinger gets up at nine. Smiling as he uses the ropes to stand, he grins and throws up his ten fingers. An indignant Nakamura misses a wild swing. Tye nicks his “Come on” gesture, and ducks Nakamura’s roundhouse punch, landing his own left hands. Nakamura knocks Dillinger into the ropes with a straight kick, but the Perfect 10 bounces off with a clothesline. Tye snaps a knee into Nakamura’s face, sending Shinsuke to the apron. Nakamura dazes Dillinger with an enziguri from that position, then blisters him with a knee strike from the second rope. Nakamura sets up theatrically for a Kinshasa, delivering it impeccably. This match accomplished exactly what WWE wanted it to achieve.

Result: Shinsuke Nakamura pinned Tye Dillinger following a Kinshasa.

Grade: C+

After the match, Nakamura displays some loony facial gestures (even by his standards), and ambushes Dillinger with a Kinshasa to the back of the neck. He counts Dillinger out and celebrates.

Dasha Fuentes stands backstage with Styles. She asks if he believes the last-man-standing stipulation would help Nakamura. Styles calls Nakamura more dangerous than he’s ever been. While AJ concedes that this stipulation would benefit the elite striker, Styles proclaims that he will be the last man standing at MITB.

Aiden English and Rusev act as hype men for Lana on the entrance ramp. Naomi slides down the ramp and brings out the Usos to back her up. This really doesn’t help the Usos regain their edge from getting blitzed by the Bludgeon Brothers this Spring.

Sports Entertainment Time! The ring announcer gives us the rules. Lana and Naomi will each have 60 seconds to “impress everyone here in the arena, and you will determine who is the better dancer.” Lana performs first. This looks like wedding-reception goofery until she moves into a split-legged handstand. Decent break-dancing to conclude her routine. Naomi plays to the crowd, then goes into some impressive hip-hop dancing. She twerks at Lana, then moves into the splits to cap off her performance.

The ladies shake hands after their exhibition, then hug and pose back-to-back. At which time Lana drops Naomi with a neckbreaker. She mounts Naomi to throw punches. When Naomi starts fighting back, Rusev pulls his wife away, only for Lana to slap Naomi’s husband, Jimmy. Naomi gets her glow back by decking Lana with a forearm. As the Usos rock Rusev Day with stereo superkicks, Naomi neutralizes Lana with the Rear View. The weekly Rusev Day face/heel turn remains intact.

Backstage, Mr. Bootyworth presents New Day with a platter of pancakes. The guy’s got a top hat, monocle, and tuxedo shirt. So help me, that’s kind of funny. In an opposing locker room, a blindfolded Miz uses his martial arts expertise to chop away the pancakes tossed at him by the Bar.

The New Day vs. The Bar and The Miz

Big E wants Miz to start. Miz utilizes discretion and tags Cesaro, who gets launched with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston tag in quick succession, and hit a variety of offensive moves (running clothesline, running boot, leg drop) in quick succession. Kingston propels himself off the ropes to splash down on Cesaro for a two-count. Back on his feet, Cesaro punches and maneuvers Kingston into his team’s corner. Kofi fights off all three opponents until Miz snatches his hair and just pulls him over the top rope to the floor.

Back from break, Miz works over Kofi mid-ring. Sheamus tags in to plant a boot into Kingston’s solar plexus. He bulls Kingston into his corner, where Cesaro hurtles into him with a running forearm. The Bar executes their Demolition-style elbow move for a two-count. Cesaro takes his time plotting his next move. Which, unfortunately for him, involves missing a turnbuckle charge that sends him tumbling backwards over the top rope. Kofi plays matador to dump an interfering Miz to the arena floor. Miz takes the opportunity to sucker Big E into a confrontation. When E ventures toward the heel corner, Cesaro surprises him with a wrecking-ball dropkick, and Miz and Sheamus team up to heave him into the barricade.

Back in the ring, Kingston cradles an unsuspecting Cesaro for a two-count. Cesaro wakes up and trips Kingston into the middle rope, allowing Sheamus to throw a cheap-shot kick to the face. The Miz tags in and hops around in anticipation of a Skullcrushing Finale. Kofi escapes that finisher, and executes the SOS. He makes the hot tag, and Woods enters the fray. He first knocks Cesaro from the ring apron, then kicks Sheamus down to size before stunning him with a knee strike. Woods ducks a Sheamus roundhouse to send him flipping with a flying head-scissors. When Miz enters the ring, Woods cracks him with an enziguri.

Trying to regain the upper hand, Sheamus misses Woods on a shoulder-tackle attempt, crashing into the post. Woods uses the Irishman as a steppingstone to jump over the top rope onto Cesaro at ringside. Straddling the middle rope, Woods leaps onto Sheamus and scores with a Tornado DDT, garnering a near-fall. When he goes up top, however, Miz distracts Xavier long enough for Sheamus to kick his leg out from under him. Woods collapses to the mat. Kingston jumps off the stairs to level Miz, but then gets clotheslined by Cesaro for his trouble.

The Bar execute a tandem back-suplex/top-rope double ax-handle move on Woods for a near-fall. A disbelieving Cesaro goes for a Neutralizer, but gets back-dropped by Woods. Cesaro lands on his feet, only to be greeted by Big E (newly tagged in). Woods pushes Cesaro into E’s Uranage, which Xavier accentuates with a Backstabber. Big E covers Cesaro for a believable near-fall.

E stalks Cesaro and goes for the Big Ending. Cesaro counters and makes the blind tag to Miz. When E tries to cream Cesaro with his through-the-ropes shoulder-tackle, Cesaro stuffs him, and Miz gets a DDT. Kingston dramatically breaks up the cover. When Sheamus throws Kofi to ringside, Woods belts their foe with a discus forearm. He errs in trying to follow up with a plancha. Sheamus catches Woods, and the Bar chucks him onto the top of the barricade. Looking out for his partner, Kofi scales the turnbuckles and dives off the ringpost onto the Bar.

Alone in the ring, the Miz runs into a tilt-a-whirl from Big E, who slams him down with a Big Ending. That’s a terrific tag-team match in which all six men delivered.

Result: The New Day beat The Miz and The Bar when Big E pinned Miz following a Big Ending.

Grade: A-

Backstage, Young speaks with Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson. Their interview is interrupted by a dial-tone from Hell as we view a Saw-esque video of the Bludgeon Brothers on a nearby monitor. Rowan foretells that bodies will be liquefied.

Asuka vs. Mandy Rose

Carmella prances out to conduct guest commentary. Not sure why WWE blurs out the fans along the entrance ramp as Rose makes her way to the ring. She’s not a difficult performer on which to focus. Graves compares Asuka to a falcon ready to swoop down on a chipmunk (Rose). As Asuka makes her way to the ring, Deville blindsides her with a hard shot to the back. Pissed off and hurt, Asuka rolls into the ring and convinces the referee that she can wrestle. He acquiesces and rings the bell.

Rose quickly bulls Asuka into the corner and throws rapid-fire rights and kicks. Asuka attempts to fire up, but Rose quells her attack, lifting her into a side-side position and flipping Asuka backwards onto her face for a pair of two-counts. Rose grounds Asuka; when Asuka fights to her feet, Rose whips her into the corner, then hits her with a dropkick. Mandy measures Asuka for a running knee, gaining a two-count as we go to break.

Back from break, both women exchange forearms as they fight to their feet. Asuka wins that battle, lacing into Rose with kicks to the chest. She hurts Rose with a pop-up knee and a Shining Wizard. Asuka wallops Rose with a Hip Attack in the corner, then climbs the turnbuckles to deliver a missile dropkick for a two-count. She was almost facing the mat when she made contact with Rose there.

Rose avoids another Hip Attack, causing Asuka to get stuck in the ropes. Mandy pulls her back to the center of the ring for a short-arm clothesline. Rose goes for a V-Lock maneuver. Asuka counters it into a Victory Roll combination. When Rose kicks out, Asuka tries to apply the Asuka Lock. Rose pushes back on her for a pinning combination. Asuka kicks out and scissors her legs around Rose, twirling her around the mat and hooking the Asuka Lock mid-ring for the victory. The lecherous Graves compares the aftermath to a tornado wrecking the Louvre.

Result: Asuka tapped out Mandy Rose with the Asuka Lock.

Grade: B-

Carmella enters the ring to hold up her title in Asuka’s face. The challenger stares her down as Mella moonwalks out of the ring.

Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch watch the action backstage, arguing over who will win the MITB contract. Paige wanders by and tells Charlotte and Becky that she loves their competitive fire. She harkens back to their days as Team PCB (aka the Submission Sorority, which you should definitely Google while at your job). Her former teammates aren’t feeling the nostalgia, even when their boss tries to instigate “Tea Time.” You can’t go home again, Paige.

Andrade “Cien” Almas steps out of the men’s locker room to be warmly greeted by Sin Cara. Almas looks like he has no idea who Sin Cara is. Zelina Vega reprimands the interloper. Sin Cara says that he and Almas go way back. Vega tells him he’s nobody. Cien silences Sin Cara’s protests, and the dastardly duo walks away.

Daniel Bryan vs. Samoa Joe vs. Big Cass (Money in the Bank qualifying match)

Bryan tears right into Cass with punches in the corner. Joe joins him and they trade off on booting a wounded Cass. They whip Cass into the ropes for a double-elbow, and the big man rolls to ringside. In his absence, Joe decides to snap-mare and kick Bryan. Joe jabs Bryan into the corner, where he chops him repeatedly. He sends Bryan into the opposite turnbuckle, where DB nearly blows a backflip over his opponent before landing safely and deterring a returning Cass with a wrecking-ball dropkick. Joe takes advantage to run over Bryan with a lariat, then dives through the ropes to forearm Cass. Bryan takes out both men with a top-rope cross-body-block as we go to break.

Back in the ring, Cass tees off on Joe with right hands. He misses a Stinger Splash in the corner, however, and Joe hits his running elbow/engizuri combination. Joe briefly applies the Coquina Clutch to Cass, breaking the hold to grab Bryan for an inverted atomic-drop. He presses the momentum with a big boot and a senton to Bryan, forcing Cass to break up the ensuing pin attempt. As soon as Bryan is back up, he goes after Cass again with kicks. Cass dumps him outside the ring, then hurls Bryan onto and over the announce table.

Cass resumes battering Joe in the corner. When Joe boots Cass and goes to the middle rope, Bryan regains his senses and stops Joe with a flying kick. With Joe seated on the top turnbuckle, Bryan baits Cass into a drop-toe-hold, sending him into the middle turnbuckle. He then kicks the rope to send that turnbuckle up into the face of Cass. Bryan turns his attention to Joe, snaring him with a top-rope hurricanrana. Bryan gets psyched up and lands two of his running corner-dropkicks. On his third attempt, Cass waylays him with a big clothesline. Cass rains down right hands on Bryan. He steps on Bryan’s throat, then picks him up. When Bryan tries to fight back, Cass slams a knee into his ribs as we take our final break.

Back from commercial, Joe and Cass throw the heavy artillery at each other. Cass sets Joe down with a spinebuster, then drops the Empire Elbow, forcing Bryan to break up the pin. Bryan kicks away at the left leg of Cass, then runs into the East River Crossing. Joe breaks up the pin attempt that time. All three men get to their feet slowly and wearily. Bryan executes dragon-screw leg-whips on Joe and Cass, then takes turns hitting both opponents with Yes Kicks. He finishes this sequence with roundhouse kicks, then gets a two-count on Cass.

Bryan leg-whips Cass again, and looks ready to go for the Heel Hook. Before he can make his move, Joe snatches him with the Coquina Clutch. When he brings Bryan to the mat, Bryan back-somersaults on top of Joe, nearly getting the pinfall. Back up, Bryan pulls down the top rope as Joe stampedes toward him, sending the Samoan falling to the floor. He then ducks a Cass big boot and applies the Yes Lock, at which time Joe pulls Bryan into the ropes. Bryan leg-presses Joe away and jolts him with a knee off the apron.

Bryan climbs the top-rope and blasts Cass with a missile dropkick. He kips up and clouts Cass with the running knee. As Bryan goes for the cover, Joe peels him away and applies the Coquina Clutch to him, causing Bryan to pass out.

Result: Samoa Joe beat Daniel Bryan and Big Cass by submitting Bryan with the Coquina Clutch. Joe qualifies for the Money in the Bank ladder match.

Grade: B+

After the match, a wide-eyed Cass assails Bryan with a big boot, then throws his fist in the air.

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