Intro: A recap video replayed Jinder Mahal’s victory in the Six-Pack Challenge three weeks ago and his attack on Randy Orton at Payback. The Maharaja vowed to take the “glory of the WWE championship back to me and my people.”
Orton opened the show after being held off last week’s broadcast. WWE is smart to give Orton space between the House of Horrors debacle and his reintegration into an earthbound feud. In spite of a cute comment about “that damn refrigerator”, he seemed rightfully pissed about getting his title belt stolen. Jinder interrupted the promo, flanked by the Singh brothers.
LOW BLOW: The ex-Bollywoods have jettisoned their signature shuffle hop. Boys, go with what brought you to the dance.
Mahal told Orton that “I didn’t take anything”, then said, “I simply took…what I’m going to win at Backlash.” Dammit, dude. Mahal informed Orton that he’s already taken promotional photographs showing himself as champion. Shown on the Titantron, these pictures are a nice way to show off the contender’s cockiness and make a title change seem like a realer prospect. JBL repeatedly harping on Mahal having a puncher’s chance of winning the title added just enough intrigue to the challenger’s longshot bid.
After winning the title, Mahal told us, he will wear the championship belt into the Taj Mahal, and the nation of India will erect a statue in his honor. Orton looks bored. Mahal tells the London fans that they will no longer disrespect his homeland, and threatens to cleanse their ignorance with his greatness. Maybe this promo cuts deeper in England than America. Even without mentioning British colonialism, Mahal seems one step away from beating Rudyard Kipling’s ass at this point.
LOW BLOW: Kevin Owens interrupts Mahal’s interruption to far too many cheers. The new U.S. Champion should be a clearly defined heel – getting booed by the masses – following his massacre of Chris Jericho last week. Instead, he gets a babyface reaction by cutting off a disliked performer who had just threatened to start speaking Punjabi. This promo should have been a standalone segment to let Owens bask in the crowd’s loathing, and cement his standing as a vicious heel champion.
Owens told both men that no one cares about their travails, then told the cheering audience that no one cares about England either. He informed everyone that the only thing people should care about is the New Face of America. Owens bragged that he ended Chris Jericho’s career, and said he’d do the same to AJ Styles at Backlash. He warned Orton and Mahal that becoming WWE Champion is the next item on his list, and that he will be the Face of WWE. Styles emerged to a loud chant. He told Owens that this is SmackDown, the “house that AJ Styles built”. And, as good as Y2J is, he’s no AJ Styles. And neither is Owens.
Baron Corbin returned from suspension to…quickly get blasted from behind by Sami Zayn. The action spilled into the ring, where a melee erupted among all competitors. In tribute to WWE Hall of Famer Teddy Long, a six-man tag match is booked over the commercial break.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya pinned Becky Lynch after grabbing her ankle and swinging her off the middle-rope to the mat. Good, hard-hitting offense from Natalya that included a suplex on the outside. Lynch hit the Becksploder and went to the middle turnbuckle, then got distracted by Naomi and Charlotte squaring off ringside with the Welcoming Committee. Natalya took advantage of the diversion by whipping the Lasskicker hard onto her back.
GRADE: B-
If the SmackDown women’s division is going to feature these six superstars split into opposing camps, they’ll need to work to maintain interest in the resulting interchangeable matches. Charlotte maintained her individuality backstage by blaming Naomi for the loss, and proclaiming that she’s “the greatest at bonding.” Good to see she’s not being shoved into a babyface slot at this time. And Ellsworth needs to explain the phrase “daft plunker”. Or perhaps stop talking.
Breezango starred in Fashion (Anglo)Files – Special London Unit. This week, the detective duo paid homage to Davey Boy Smith and Matilda while investigating a paint spill in the “Foggy Apple”. Highlights included Fandango licking lead paint, Breeze declaring he’s too old for this shite, and the Ascension going hardcore aggro in a small, empty room. The Southpaw Regional Wrestling parodies gave Breeze and Fandango a platform for their creativity and comic timing. Hopefully, they’ll strut their stuff for the next few weeks to the point that they’ll matter even after a likely loss at Backlash.
Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper
Erick Rowan pinned Luke Harper after a spinning powerslam. A battle of former Wyatt Family members who’d be better off teaming up. Both men hit big moves for close two-counts. Rowan feigned using his post-apocalyptic lamb mask as a weapon, then gouged Harper’s eye while the ref was confiscating the creepy headgear. His follow-up powerslam involved a couple of revolutions and was a pretty unimpressive finisher.
GRADE: C+
LOW BLOW: More incompetent officiating, building off a Raw episode that featured sloppy refereeing during the Braun Strowman vs. Kalisto mugging. Their match called for BRAUN (copyright Jimmy Donnellan) to refuse to engage due to injury, then deke towards the ropes before nailing Kalisto immediately after the bell rang. Instead, the bell sounded before the referee made any motion to start the match, leading to him frantically/hilariously signaling the timekeeper to start (continue) chiming. Later, when Roman Reigns entered the fray, the referee did not take any action to end the match or announce an official decision; he just waved his arms as he hopped out of the ring. Try not to miss the beginning and ending of your match, Stripes.
Dolph Ziggler and Shinsuke Nakamura “confronted” each other in-ring. Ziggler complained that the WWE Universe failed to appreciate his success and work ethic. Instead, they cheer Nakamura, who has yet to wrestle on SmackDown. He claimed that he suffers for his art, which brought to mind Cosmo Kramer’s similar praise for the Soup Nazi. Nakamura entered to a loud ovation. He grabbed the mic and told Ziggler to shut up. Nakamura said he’d show Ziggler what he could do right now, and a referee entered to officiate an impromptu match. Ziggler bowed out of an official fight, then ambushed Nakamura with his sportcoat. Nakamura fired back with knee strikes and a front kick to clear the ring.
OUTLOOK: A lively international crowd helped Nakamura look like a superstar tonight. He needs to maintain this buzz and advance to Backlash before his promo deficiencies blunt his momentum. A badass match against Ziggler, in front of a hot Chicago crowd, will propel the Artist forward if he can make it through another week of television without wrestling a match. Also, they should stop calling him the Artist.
Zayn gave a locker-room pep talk to Orton and Styles. I like his overly caffeinated, oft-neurotic personality. He does need to avoid venturing into George Costanza territory when he unwisely reenters a tense conversation because he can’t leave well enough alone.
Breezango vs. The Ascension
Breezango beat the Ascension when Fandango pinned Viktor after the Last Dance. Breeze and Fandango sported fashion police uniforms and really leaned into the goofier aspects of their persona. The Ascension got in some muted offense on Fandango, who made a lukewarm tag to Breeze. As Viktor stood on the second rope to throw punches, Breeze slipped behind and kicked out his leg. Fandango finished it with the top rope legdrop.
GRADE: C
A basic showcase for the newly babyface Breezango, as well as Tyler’s fuzzy wristbands (apparently purchased off the Adam and Eve online superstore).
HIGHSPOT: The Usos cut a terrific post-match promo on Breezango. The Usos can convey menace even with smiles on their faces. Here’s what’s not going to happen at Backlash in 12 days, courtesy of Jimmy and Jey.
– These tag titles could be yours, Uce (they later noted that “that ain’t gonna happen like that, see!”).
The tag team champions then refocused to tell Breeze and Fandango what WILL happen to them in 12 days:
– You gettin’ beat down.
– You gettin’ knocked down.
– You gettin’ stomped out.
– You gettin’ slapped too.
– You gettin’ clapped too.
– You better watch each other’s backs. Hell, you can tan, shave, wax, rub, kiss, lick, or paint each other’s backs.
– You better have your mind right.
– You’re about to feel these little hairs stand up behind your necks, feel these goosebumps running through your bodies, and have your heads on a swivel, because you feel like somebody’s creeping up behind you.
Brian Kendrick badmouthed Akira Tozawa to promote 205 Live. Separately, Mojo Rawley gave a backstage tour to four unchaperoned gradeschoolers. He told them a story about the Eighth Wonder of the World; alternately, a story about “a boy who was different”. The boy was bullied, but took what made him different and used it to make himself special. Rawley then unveiled a statue of Jinder Mahal the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy.
HIGHSPOT: One of the girls kicked him in the shin. Unfortunately, the tour resumed, as Rawley continued to guide four unaccompanied minors through an arena’s backstage area.
A social media video aired of Rusev reiterating his demand for a title opportunity at Money in the Bank. He said he’d get his answer on SmackDown next week.
Jinder Mahal, Kevin Owens & Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton, Sami Zayn & AJ Styles
Jinder Mahal, Kevin Owens, and Baron Corbin. The combatants took turns avoiding their opponents for the upcoming pay-per-view. Mahal battered Zayn in the corner, leading to this overly candid exchange:
Tom Phillips: “Even before Jinder Mahal had become number one contender, what do you think was the change for Mahal?”
JBL: “Jinder Mahal, look at his body.”
JBL followed this comment by making two McMahon-pleasing references to Mahal grabbing the brass ring. Blecch. Owens turned the tide by hanging Zayn up on the top rope, renewing what Byron Saxton understatedly called a “familiar rivalry”. Mahal and Corbin took turns beating on Zayn. Corbin eventually drilled his right hand into the mat while trying to punch Zayn, and Styles got the tag. He smashed Corbin and Owens with running forearms. Styles hooked the calf crusher onto Corbin, leading to Owens breaking up the submission hold. The ring cleared as Zayn launched himself onto all three heels at ringside. With Corbin back in the ring, Styles set up for a phenomenal forearm, but was knocked awry by Owens, leading to a near fall. Mahal got his own long two-count after a running knee. Styles eventually made the hot tag to Orton, who hit Mahal and Corbin with his windmill powerslam.
Orton slammed the mat with his fists in anticipation of an RKO. The Singh brothers climbed onto the ring apron, distracting Orton as he ran them off. He turned directly into a big kick from Mahal. Each competitor took out an opponent with one big move in an impressive sequence that culminated with Owens eating an RKO. That move gave Mahal time, however, to corral Orton with his cobra clutch slam for the win. Mahal celebrated with the Singhs at ringside, motioning that he’d soon be wearing championship gold around his waist.
GRADE: B+.
HIGHSPOT: A broken promise leading to another Fight Forever moment. I attended what was billed as the “final showdown” between Owens and Zayn at Battleground 2016. That attraction was proven false (and not for the first time) Tuesday night, and thank Generico for that. These two share an unsurpassed chemistry and trust in the ring, and there’s something admirable about a blood feud that simply won’t die.
LOW BLOW: The U.K. stealing a live WWE broadcast for the second night in a row. Brexit should’ve erased any shot at such thievery.
Final Thoughts
WWE successfully cut the ties between Orton and a Wyatt feud that went off the rails and beyond any realm of believability. They’ve also managed to reframe Mahal (in a condensed timeframe) as a semi-believable threat to Orton’s title. On the U.S. Championship side, does Styles become a full-fledged “good guy” as he faces Owens? He’s getting cheered and feuding with villains, but we haven’t seen a decisive turn – yet. The taste we got of these two throwing down tonight raises expectations even higher for their Backlash match.
Some of the coverage you find on Cultured Vultures contains affiliate links, which provide us with small commissions based on purchases made from visiting our site. We cover gaming news, movie reviews, wrestling and much more.
