WWE: The Return Of The Big Guys

Let’s be honest, a lot of us have been done with the giants of WWE for some time now. Big Show, Mark Henry, Corporate/Demon/Landlord/Scuba Diver Kane, three of WWE’s stalwarts in the big guy scene did little to inspire the imagination. Brock Lesnar continues to hop, suplex, conquer, defeat, pig scream, leave. Goldberg is making a few people next, when he’s not bashing his own head against doors. For the casual WWE viewer, this is all well and good and fun, but times have changed since the ticket-selling, marquee spectacle of the likes of Andre the Giant.

Now, with the curse and blessing that is the internet, us smarky, know-it-all fans demand narrative, character building and satisfying payoffs. It just isn’t enough anymore to see Local McJobber get thrown around and expire during two minutes. Just like me, in [insert hilarious situation here]. Our hearts and minds were captured by in-ring storytelling, and the urgent need for a new star during the meteoric rise of Daniel Bryan, and of course CM Punk before him back in 2011. We were tired of wins and losses not mattering, and actual wrestlers with actual talent (e.g Cesaro) being lost in the never-ending failure push of Roman Reigns. Le sigh.

That was, however, until the Brand Split. Now I for one didn’t need the split in my life – why make a thin roster thinner? But then Smackdown happened, rejuvenated and exciting again. And Raw gave life to the latest Wyatt family member Braun Strowman, not least of which giving us the gift of Ellsworth (chin it in, maannnn). I admit, at first, Strowman did little for me. But after so long, it was actually nice to see squash matches return, and serve a purpose of building a monster. On the Smackdown side of things we have Baron Corbin, an Andre the Giant memorial Battle Royal winner getting better and better each week, not to mention invaluable time spent making some genuinely wicked promos on the excellent Talking Smack. Did you hear the pop he got when he eliminated Braun from the Royal Rumble?

As the weeks passed, I was digging Baron and Braun more and more. Heck, he made a freakin’ Chairs match look entertaining. Despite having a sad belly (look at his nipples and belly line, looking like a sad mouth and tell me I’m wrong) and gross hair, Corbin was looking like a tougher S.O.B every Smackdown, to the point where I’m actively rooting for him to become the next Intercontinental Champion. The End of Days finisher is visually very cool and to be honest, although I like Dean Ambrose, I just prefer titles on other people as he doesn’t add all that much to their prestige. Their match will be a battle of who has the better revving engine in their entrance music.

Look back at Raw from 22nd of February, when Braun did agile keepy-uppy things that big big men shouldn’t be able to do and it was so awesome. The crowd is pro-Braun right now (then again, if Reigns is your opponent, it’s hard not to side with Roman’s opposition) and I’m loving watching him lay waste to people. Who didn’t fist pump to the heavens when he laid out Reigns with a powerslam through a table? Plus it’s humbling to see a beast like Strowman have a Tinder profile, whilst a dweeb like me somehow has a girlfriend. All about perspective people.

Given the way the Wrestlemania card and beyond are shaping up, I wouldn’t be surprised if down the line at Summerslam we end up seeing Lesnar defend the Universal Championship against Strowman in a primal battle of Beast vs Beast, where the winner, by official law of monsters, has to eat the loser in the ring. I’d keep my WWE Network subscription for that.

Of course, an honorable mention has to go to Luke Harper, who has been done a huge disservice in WWE by only having one brief IC title run, along with a show-stealing ladder match with Dolph Ziggler at the TLC PPV in 2014. Often hidden away in tag matches and carrying Erik Rowan, Harper is an amazing performer with a unique look, and I am over the moon he (finally!) is getting the TV time deserves as a singles wrestler (with all due credit to the writing team on Smackdown for making his singles push meaningful too!). His upcoming match with AJ Styles on Smackdown has huge potential to be brilliant, and I am all in on a Wyatt triple-threat at Mania, should Harper win.

My hope is that the curse of the Big Men doesn’t befall Baron, Luke or Braun. And by curse I mean 1) they eventually lose to John Cena and 2) creative will run out of ideas for them. All too often have the monsters of wrestling’s impact been lessened when they’ve lost too many big matches and/or to John Cena. When giants fall, their appeal decreases, and tastes move on. Or they get put in comedy tag teams and made to dance. Here’s lookin’ at you, Great Khali. Oh, Great Khali – I’ll never forget the way they tried to make you cut promos, despite your lack of fluency in English, or the way you would eliminate yourself from Battle Royals, my sweet, confused Indian Prince.

“Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was Twitter and poor attention to detail that Killed The Great Khali.”

So without wanting to brown my nose anymore than I already have, let’s look at the facts. We are here, in 2017, with three big guys across both brands, in important mid-to-upper card matches that we have all found ourselves invested in. How did this happen? What alt-Universe did we tumble into at the dawn of this new year? I don’t look at these guys and think ‘meh, so what’ anymore – I look at them as forces to be reckoned with. Animals that can really hurt their opponents. I believe in the hype again.

Whilst it’s not exactly the same as the appeal of the giants from the 80s, it is their turn to rise again. We can have our cake and eat it, as they both look great in their destructive paths and have the investable storylines to back it up. I know every wrestling fan preaches it right now, but boy, is it a fun time to be a lover of the graps.

The Road to Wrestlemania is always an interesting path, full of twists and turns. And with a few weeks still to go, I can’t wait to see how things shape up along the way. Heck, I’m so one-eighty’d on Big Guys now, I might even start listening to Ryback’s podcast!

No, actually, on second thought I’m good. Yeah. I’m good on that one.