We eat your words

WWE Fastlane 2017: 3 Ways the Main Event Could End

The smart money's on Goldberg just straight up eating Kevin Owens, but what other ways could it go?

WWE Fastlane is the last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania and it could prove to be a huge speed bump for the WWE Universal Champion, Kevin Owens. KO is set to defend his championship against Goldberg in Fastlane’s main event in a match that has huge implications for Wrestlemania no matter how it ends. So let’s run down three ways this match will end, and how each outcome will affect this year’s Wrestlemania.

 

1. Kevin Owens beats Goldberg clean

Kevin Owens

This has next to no chance of happening. WWE have been booking Goldberg to be an unstoppable monster. He beat Brock Lesnar, WWE’s other unstoppable force, in a laughably quick squash match and then humiliated him yet again at the Royal Rumble. There is no way WWE Creative would shatter Goldberg’s mystique going into his huge Wrestlemania rematch with The Beast Incarnate by having him eat a clean loss a month prior.

Another thing to factor into this would be the fact that Kevin Owens has yet to retain his Universal Championship with a clean victory. Every single title defense The Prize Fighter has competed in has ended with some sort of shenanigans involving his former bff Chris Jericho. KO beating Goldberg clean, now of all times, makes zero sense as that just isn’t how Kevin Owens has been booked as of late.

What this would mean for Wrestlemania
If this near impossible outcome were to occur this coming Sunday, it would ruin all the hype and momentum that WWE have been building for Goldberg Vs Lesnar III. Since this is quite possibly the marquee match in the minds of many WWE officials, and an undeniably huge “money” match featuring two of professional wrestling’s most famous/infamous figures, WWE Creative will want to protect both men heading into Wrestlemania. And let’s face it, Goldberg’s mystique needs all the protecting it can get since Goldberg still can’t, you know, actually wrestle.

 

2. Kevin Owens retains via outside interference

triple h pic
Image source:
betweentheropes.com

If KO retains his Universal Championship at Fastlane, and that’s a big if, this is how it’s going to happen. This would more than likely involve Samoa Joe, Chris Jericho, or even possibly a surprise member of the rumoured heel stable Triple H is forming, jumping in the ring mid-match and attacking Goldberg. Or in the case of interference from Jericho, attacking KO. Goldberg or Owens win via DQ, Goldberg’s mystique remains intact and Kevin Owens gets to keep his Universal Title heading into his presumed match with Chris Jericho at the Showcase of the Immortals. Everybody comes away relatively unscathed.

Jericho interfering on Owen’s behalf one final time would serve a few different purposes. Firstly, it would be a giant middle finger to Owens from Y2J as it would essentially be Jericho telling Owens that “You need me to keep that belt”. Secondly it would keep the belt on KO so Jericho can try to take it from him at ‘Mania. Finally, it would cement these two actually having a match at Wrestlemania, so they could spend the final weeks before the Show of Shows building an undoubtedly bitter and heated feud between the former Best Friends.

What this would mean for Wrestlemania
The Wrestlemania implications for this outcome are fairly simple. It would mean that the Goldberg/Lesnar bout wouldn’t include the Universal Championship, which is totally fine in my mind. That match is big enough without needing the Universal Championship to raise the stakes. Their feud has never been about the belt. In many eyes it “transcends” the Universal Championship, so adding it into the mix now is pointless and would take an important piece away from the other feud involved in this match: Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho.

JeriKO’s relationship up until this point has really revolved around the Universal Championship. They were claiming to be “Co-Champions”, after all. Keeping the belt on Owens would give the former best friends an important centrepiece for their feud. In addition to exacting revenge on Kevin Owens for his recent betrayal (Which was the best bromance breakup since Shawn Micheals superkicked Marty Janetty through a barbershop window, in my opinion.) Chris Jericho could use their Wrestlemania showdown to prove to KO who the true Champion of the WWE Universe really is.

 

3. Goldberg wins via Epic Squash

Spear. Jackhammer. Pin. New Universal Champion. This has a disturbingly high chance of happening. WWE is determined to book Goldberg as an unstoppable, invincible force of nature for reasons that boil down to “He puts asses in seats, and the crowd chants for him”. Which, unfortunately, outweighs his overwhelming lack of in-ring skills or stamina. I mean, the guy screwed up throwing a clothesline at the Royal Rumble. A clothesline!

Anywho, if this happens, and there’s a pretty damn good chance that it will, you can expect a main event at the last PPV before Wrestlemania that doesn’t last as long as the intro video package that precedes it and also destroys the prestige of the RAW brand’s biggest prize.

What this would mean for Wrestlemania
This outcome would place the WWE Universal Championship on a man who hasn’t wrestled full time in over 10 years, and has wrestled under 5 minutes total since his return to WWE. Seriously, Goldberg has spent a combined time of 4 minutes and 47 seconds in active competition since his return in October of 2016. What’s more, Goldberg would then be defending the Universal Championship against Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania in what is sure to be a squash regardless of who comes out on top.

This would actually be the second time these two affronts to professional wrestling have danced on The Grandest Stage of Them All. The first time is widely regarded as a top contender for the worst Wrestlemania match in the event’s history. The only way this match, which would be the Wrestlemania headliner, lasts more than five minutes is if Brock Lesnar finally gives Goldberg a tour of Suplex City and exacts his long overdue vengeance by punishing ‘Oldberg for as long as possible.

To be clear, I don’t think either man belongs anywhere near the Universal Title. Putting the belt on a part-timer is a slap in the face to every WWE Superstar that busts their ass night in and night out, period. Sadly, the worst case scenario also happens to be the most likely course of events in this case, no matter how little either man deserves to headline the biggest show in professional wrestling.

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