Wrestlemania 31 PREVIEW: The Beast, The Goat and The Deadman

PREDICTIONS

Kickoff Preshow: Fatal 4 Way for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. Big E./Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro (C)

The tag team scene in the WWE continues to be treated by the company like a cousin that shows up at a reunion, sits in the corner, drinks tequila, and yells racial slurs at the mustard potato salad. That’s too bad, because it has been a pretty good tag team scene for at least the past couple of years, owing to dedicated tag teams holding and competing for the titles. Tyson Kidd has been a dark horse favorite of mine for several years now, and I’ve been a fan of Cesaro for quite some time, as well. I love this team, and I want to see them win a match that deserves to be on the actual WrestleMania 31 broadcast. However, if Big E./Kofi win instead, I won’t be crushed.

 

Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker

However you feel about Brock Lesnar ending The Streak last year (I thought it was a dumb, pointless move, but if anyone was going to do it, Brock unfortunately made the most sense), I suspect even people who want Undertaker to retire secretly hoped he would come back, if only for one more match. Bray Wyatt has managed to stay interesting, in spite of staggering misuse by WWE creative. At this point, I am quite frankly more interested in Wyatt/Undertaker than I am in Sting/Undertaker. Smart move on WWE’s part in keeping Undertaker completely off television. It builds to the match better than even the man himself could, and it gives Bray Wyatt yet another opportunity to prove how dynamic he truly is. This is not going to be a classic, but I don’t think it’s going to be boring.

 

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

One of the many possible scenarios I have heard about WrestleMania 31 involves Rollins beating Orton, cashing in, winning the WWE World Heavyweight Title, and sending fans home happy. I think WWE is so desperate for a good show right now, anything is possible. As far as this match goes, it just makes sense for Rollins to come out on top against Orton. For me personally, Orton has been one of the most consistently dull performers of all time, but there are exceptions to that opinion. Orton is a great fit for guys who are reasonably similar to him in style and intensity, and that’s definitely Rollins. This match could very easily be one of those exceptions to my opinion.

 

AJ Lee and Paige vs. The Bella Twins

Four of the absolute Divas on the WWE roster. When talent like this is actually given more than the length of a standard bathroom break, the results can be dazzling, even show-stealing. If these four get more than ten minutes, it should be something special.

 

Sting vs. Triple H

Do you really, really think Sting is going to lose his first (and possibly only) WWE match ever? I’ve never been a Sting fanatic, but even I was flashing back to my childhood, when he showed up at last year’s Survivor Series. Triple H gave us a great match with Bryan last year, proving that he can definitely still deliver on a limited in-ring schedule. Sting proved during his last TNA run that he’s in better shape than guys half his age. This isn’t going to be the match it could have been perhaps ten years ago, but it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun.

 

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

There are still a few slots to fill with this, but I’m going to go out on a limb anyway, and pick Goldust to win. After a career of over 25 years, with a remarkable comeback over the past couple of years to act as a bookend to that career, Goldust is reportedly preparing to retire. Winning this battle royal won’t make up for the fact that WWE dropped the ball on what could have been a great Stardust/Goldust feud culminating at WrestleMania, but it would be a nice moment for one of the most controversial, talented wrestlers of the past quarter-century.

 

Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper vs. Stardust vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett (C)

Whether or not you think Daniel Bryan should be in the main event for this year’s show is irrelevant. He’s not. Stop complaining. Rumors flying around the always trustworthy Internet Wrestling Community suggest that WWE wants to build the U.S. and IC titles back to prominence by putting the belts on guys like John Cena and Daniel Bryan, respectively. That actually makes sense to me, but my choosing Bryan is more centered on the fact that WWE wants to make his very vocal supporters feel like he wasn’t completely shut out. I’m going with Bryan, but I can very easily see just about anyone in this match winning. What I severely doubt is that Barrett will retain.

 

WWE United States Title Match: Rusev (C) vs. John Cena

On a night that is going to have to fight like hell to surprise people (in a good way), WWE may just decide to put Rusev over, because it really makes no difference if Cena wins or loses. The actual match will be fairly standard Cena boilerplate, which is either fine, or it’s going to be your opportunity to hit the bathroom. As far as a winner goes, Cena is the logical choice. Not only because of the rumor I mentioned above, but because, well, it’s John Cena.

 

WWE World Heavyweight Title Match: Brock Lesnar (C) (With Paul Heyman) vs. Roman Reigns

Basically, Roman Reigns is dammed either way, win or lose. If he wins, people are going to point out that he’s not ready (they’re right). If Lesnar wins, which may actually happen at this juncture, Reigns is going to have a hard time getting back to a position of being a believable contender to the title. Simply put, Reigns has to win and look good against someone who hasn’t had a competitive match with a WWE star in ages, to say nothing of whether or not Lesnar is even going to try to make Reigns look credible. The MVP of this entire run has been Paul Heyman and his viciously compelling promos. While that’s great for Paul, that’s not really very good for a main event that WWE wants the entire universe to pay attention to. At this point, I think WWE is going to stick to their waning guns that Roman Reigns is their next darling. However, between Lesnar resigning, and with Seth Rollins running out of stupid things to do to his hair, the WrestleMania 31 has a nice element of uncertainty going for it. How WWE takes advantage of that is anyone’s guess. I’m going to watch, and I’m going to be optimistic.