$10 To Whoever Gets The Long Dark’s PS4 Platinum Trophy First

If you’re looking for a game that’s like a relaxing walk along the beach, The Long Dark is probably not for you – unless said beach is full of wolves and bears and temperature levels that will make your nose fall off.

Hinterland have crafted a mature, challenging survival game that will have you scampering around for supplies every few minutes and praying that the weather holds out long enough for you to skin a rabbit without getting hypothermia. It’s not for the faint of heart.

If you need any more proof of that, its trophy list on PS4 is just about the hardest one I have ever come across. I don’t say this lightly, but it’s right up there with Super Meat Boy in the pantheon of trophy hunting masochism.

A few highlights:

Exploration Game
Visit every interior location in both Mystery Lake and Coastal Highway (single game).
These maps are big and the chances of getting to and from areas without getting severely battered by the wildlife and weather is even bigger.

Faithful Cartographer
Map all named locations in Survival Mode.
Every single map. Outrageous. Let’s not forget that you need charcoal and ideal weather conditions to manage it, either.

The Will to Live
Survive 500 days in a single Survival Mode game.
Divide that by ten and you’re close to my record. Surviving 500 days essentially means that you have to pick up every single piece of food and also have a base that regularly churns out snared rabbits and has a fishing hole relatively nearby. Jesus.

Skilled Survivor
Get all skills to level 5 in a single Survival Mode game.
This goes hand-in-hand with surviving 500 days. A real timesink.

Timberwolf Mountain
Climb to the top of Timberwolf Mountain.
Arguably the most inhospitable area in the game, climbing to the top of the mountain requires constant fires and rest. Not easy when bears and the weather are constant threats.

For perspective, here’s how many people have unlocked the hardest trophies since The Long Dark launched early last month:

Nobody has achieved the Platinum trophy yet. It seems like a couple of players are fairly close, but they’re still a ways off. There’s a fractional amount of people who have managed 100 days, let alone 500.

So, here’s my challenge: prove you got the Platinum trophy first and I will send you $10. All you have to do is send me a screenshot that is verifiable through PSN to @cultvultures on Twitter and the money is yours. I don’t think I will be paying out this year.

Why only $10? Because I am scared to think what you would do with much more, you lunatic.