I don’t watch much reality television. I don’t keep up with the Kardashians or the real housewives from wherever, but I make an exception for all Bachelor related reality shows. I say Bachelor related because there are quite a few iterations of the show. We have The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise and Bachelor Winter Games – ABC just wants to keep us entertained all year round.
The premise of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is a lead male or female chosen to have their pick from 25 contestants. The ones who don’t end up being in the lead’s final selection pool will end up on Bachelor in Paradise, to get their happily ever after with someone else, though more often than not there is more scandal and salaciousness than the discovery of true love.
While I watch snippets of all these versions of the show, The Bachelorette is where my fullest attention goes, maybe because it seems like a dream situation getting to choose from 25 men and being at the centre of it all. Don’t mistake me, I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do it, but it’s fun to watch someone else experience it. I have kept up with the show from season 1, watching some of the bachelorettes really find someone they want to spend their lives with on the show. It feels so surreal to even contemplate that finding love on a reality dating show is possible, yet quite a few of the bachelorettes are still with the men they chose at the final rose ceremony.
As each season unfolds, we are hoping that the lead falls in love. More importantly, we are hoping that our pick is the one she goes for. You see, before each season starts its trek onto our televisions, the events have already played out in real life. She has made a choice, but this choice is kept from the public because they want us to tune in every week to see who the final pick is. However, with social media, this has become a difficult endeavour of late, especially with Reality Steve in the picture. The man in question runs a website that spoils the outcome, which he gets from sources involved in the show, most likely former contestants or other means of sleuthing.
There is an active subreddit that is dedicated to the show, where people post theories and discuss the episodes as each week rolls by. Before the season starts, you must decide if you want to be spoiled or not, but if you choose not to know, then the discussions are not as fun. The thing is, Reality Steve sometimes gets it wrong. In season 13 of The Bachelorette, Reality Steve initially revealed that the winner was Peter Kraus, only to backtrack a few weeks later to name Peter her final 2, after most of us had set our hearts on Peter winning bachelorette Rachel Lindsay’s heart. The very same thing happened this season with Hannah Brown. Tyler Cameron was revealed to be Hannah’s choice, before he updated us again to inform us that Tyler makes it to the final 2, but she doesn’t choose him.
It was too late by then, because we found ourselves invested in Tyler Cameron. It didn’t help that the show was edited in a way that made him such a spectacular choice. He is a good looking man who seems genuinely into her, and they have amazing physical chemistry together. Don’t believe me? Watch this clip of the two of them reenacting the Dirty Dancing lift.
I go dancing sometimes with my significant other, but I assure you we do not look nor dance like that. Add to that all their sexy make-out sessions, in a car, in the sea, on a massage table – it is a match made in TV heaven. He is also respectful of her and her decisions. While one contestant couldn’t handle the thought of her having sex with other contestants, Tyler trusts her to know her own mind and figure out her journey on her own terms. Hence, you can imagine the denial most of us went through knowing that he wasn’t the one she ends up with. We would have eventually gotten over our disappointment (after a million years) if news about the dodgy behaviour of her final choice hadn’t made its way onto the internet.
Reality Steve was there with the dirt about Jed Wyatt, who had a girlfriend outside of the show, so all the while he was with Hannah, there was someone waiting for him. He never properly broke up with the girl, even though later on he claimed he considered them no longer together. It was a bitter pill to swallow for us viewers, because his lack of honesty on this matter cost Hannah her relationship with Tyler. She chose him and got engaged with him, only to find out later on that they weren’t on the same page. While the season is still going on, we get the news that Hannah and Jed are no longer together.
It is not the first break-up in bachelor nation, and we didn’t care much for Jed, but it was difficult knowing that Hannah would come out of this journey as single as she came into it. This is not to say that people need to fall in love or have relationships, however, this is the premise of the show. We tune in week after week to watch Hannah fall in love. The draw of shows like this is the validation one gets from knowing you recognised this love story unfolding on your screen. Of all the narratives they showed you, you managed to see which relationship was the most real and authentic. Sometimes you need to come to terms with the fact that your choice might not be the lead’s choice, and eventually come to accept wherever the show takes you.
However, even though you may be watching the show spoiled, there is still an element unknown to us, which is the live show segment at the end. So as we went into season finale, we were still in the dark on what could potentially happen. Yes the spoilers were accurate, Hannah and Jed are no longer together. There is no reconciliation, just acceptance and moving forward. However, things proceed to get more topsy-turvy than Wonderland, because Hannah’s interaction with Tyler is the opposite of a farewell, and she wounds up asking Tyler out for drinks. The audience at the live taping goes wild, Chris Harrison (the host) beams like the proud papa he is, and the rest of us at home have to collect our jaws that have dropped to the ground.
Of course there is no certainty to this; they may hang out and ultimately decide to go their separate ways. But an outcome like this is why we watch reality TV like The Bachelorette, which gives us an experience wholeheartedly different from romance in TV shows and movies. These are real people, insanely beautiful, but still real. We are invited into their lives, and are offered a glimpse of them falling in love – it is such an amazingly hopeful experience.
Hannah’s season in particular offered us something more, the insight that we can choose someone, but it never really works unless they choose us back in the same way. As much as we think love is some black and white concept, where we see our feelings with abundant clarity, it really isn’t. Hannah’s choice of Jed over Tyler does not dilute her desire to pursue something with Tyler now, otherwise we would all be someone else’s sloppy-seconds. Timing is an integral part of relationships, and the fact that Tyler is able to see that and wants to see where things go with Hannah is proof that all our perceptions of him were valid.
Now that the season is over, it’s time to move on and heat things up with Bachelor in Paradise, with new couples to ship and love stories to root for – the absolute epitome of reality TV.
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