Part 4 of Josh Blockwell’s ongoing Memories of Green series.
Subject – Shopping
Decided to have another attempt at exploration today, so I braved the acid rain to go and get a new shirt. I’ve just realised the one I’d brought for the Cypher interview has some yellow stain down the front of it. I guess it’ll teach me for eating takeout in my best clothes.
You can definitely tell this place is the capital. There are so many “Unity in Patriotism” billboards around. From the train I saw tons of pictures of C.P offering a hand to people, pulling people up out of rubble. You really get a sense that this is where everything started. This is where the Administration make all the decisions. Thinking about it, I haven’t seen any government buildings yet. I guess its all upstairs, at the top of these skyscrapers.
What has become apparent over the last few days is my crippling sense of loneliness. I’ve not felt anything like it before. I feel alone here, in my little room, with the lights of the city passively blinking through my window, the world, indifferent, passing through the city. Yet at the same time I’m surrouded by millions of people upwards and downwards, there must be thousands of people in this building right now, let alone the rest of the city, taking away from any sense of privacy and self. Lost in a lonely crowd I guess? People always seem so sullen, so implacably anchored to their purpose of the day that they don’t even look up to chat. They just move with determination to their next objective of the day, not stopping for anyone else. Isolation chokes the streets. Got a little deep there, apologies.
Everyone I’ve managed to get a conversation out of seems perfectly happy to be here though, or they do their best to give me that impression. What with the occasional gunship in the sky and civil protection lining the streets, they must at least feel safe. I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking the Administration were being a little heavy handed though. I should be careful saying that, thinking about it, I don’t wanna get pulled up for “Questionable content”. Not that I even know what counts as questionable content. I just know that I don’t want to be caught posting it. Guess I should follow the crowd and keep myself to myself from now on, not even take the risk of getting flagged for “Unpatriotic rhetoric.”. I think the security camera and the Administration ads are even getting to me, starting to question every word I type.
I’m getting a little more confident with the layout of the city now. You start to develop some kind of backward logic for guiding yourself around the maze of train stations and samey buildings. I wouldn’t even be able to write it down to explain it to you, I’d probably be sectioned for even attempting it. I’m thinking of finding a bar tomorrow night, seeing if I can meet some guys. If I’m here till the twentieth I may as well try and meet some people to spend time with.
[Questionable Content – Consider Censorship/Deletion – Bureau of Security]
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