Do you remember when it used to be all the rage to upload a photo of yourself to use as your avatar in a video game? I recall the many, many hoops that you used to have to jump through in FIFA to make your manager look vaguely like yourself, but it seems to be less and less a thing these days, and that’s a damn shame.
Enter Football Manager 2020, a game that made me want to smash all the mirrors in my house after it showed me just how weird my face is.
Football Manager 2020’s avatar creator is mercifully straightforward, you being given the option to upload a photo from your PC and then select 11 dots on your face to correspond with your face shape. I uploaded what I thought was quite a nice photo of myself, one that only sort of hinted at the crippling emptiness inside.
See? There’s some sadness there, but an endearing amount.
I did the thing, placed the dots, and looked forward to seeing my silly face in-game.
Suddenly, 100 demons could be heard screeching at once.
I don’t know what happened here, but I do know that I don’t like it one bit. Maybe I selected the wrong kind of image, perhaps I should have chosen one with more space at the top? The space at the top of the forehead is a real concern, as well as the fact that my face looks like it’s been trapped in a window while being flung between dimensions.
How do I fix this? Is this my burden to live with? If someone paints this image and puts it in an attic, will it be my curse?
Whatever happened, I am now a shrew, please feed me insects.
Football Manager 2020 is out now for PC and…Stadia? Are we sure?
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