250 films, 250 reviews. This is a pretty crazy idea, but who doesn’t love a challenge? Here at Cultured Vultures we’ll be counting down the IMDb Top 250 with a review for each from one of our dedicated film writers. Everything from Goodfellas to Casablanca will be covered over the next year or so for you film lovers to enjoy. You can’t say we don’t spoil you, you lovely lot. – Ashley, Project Lead
***
“Hey you bastards, I’m still here.”
Steve McQueen was involved in one or two films, according to IMDb. Something about escaping in a great fashion, what looks like the prequel to Zoolander and he also danced in the sun for a little while as a child? Fuck knows. Anyway, I watched Papillon and it was a film what he was in with a young Dustin Hoffman chewing up the scenery like John Goodman with a tapeworm.
I have only watched Papillon the once and that was after a sweat-inducing choice of DVD between it and the seminal 27 Dresses. Considering how the latter is on ITV2 every other week and how Netflix was a great evil that I should not take part in (2012 Jimmy was a wanker, along with 1991, 1992, 1993…), I had no choice but to stick it on the old DVD box. What else was I supposed to do? Interact with humans? Ridiculous.
The film is adapted from Henri Charrière’s autobiography and centres around the arsehole’s conviction of murder of a pimp and sentencing to life at the Thomas Cook nightmare of Devil’s Island. Once there, “Papillon” as he is dubbed, makes mates with Dustin Hoffman’s Dega who promptly hires him as his bodyguard once he realises, “oh shit, that’s Steve McQueen: the escaper of greatness and loo of zoos” or something. I don’t know, man, I lost focus a lot during this film.
It is really needlessly long in my defense. Over two and a half hours is dedicated to the travails of the deeply unlikable protagonist who shows no sign of personality throughout. Papillon‘s mistreatment at the hands of the sadistic prison guards are the only times when he shows any hint of an interesting character development but that quickly dries up. I said that like I can only relate to people when they’re in pain.
Remember when I said that I was distracted a lot? Well, I was watching Papillon trading wanting looks with a homosexual orderly and the next moment, he’s taking shelter with a native tribe? What? How does that happen? Surely that’s stretching the truth a bit?
And it is. Analysts believe that only 10% of the source material is truthful to reality, something which is quite important when you’re writing an autobiography. After finding this out, my stance on the film soured even more.
It’s like that time Wayne Rooney released his own biography when he quite clearly cannot read.
But, Papillon isn’t without its moments. The cinematography is particularly outstanding for the era and the exotic locations pay for themselves (the budget stood at $12million, a huge figure for 1973). The soundtrack by esteemed composer Jerry Goldsmith is just as epic as you’d expect and carries the film when it begins to sag under its own aspirations.
McQueen does his best McQueen and Hoffman prepares himself amicably for his Rain Man character but Papillon‘s inclusion on the IMDb Top 250 is puzzling. Perhaps watching so many similar modern films with the same premise left me a little jaded, who can tell. The late, great Roger Ebert summed up the film best when he opined:
“You know something has gone wrong when you want the hero to escape simply so that the movie can be over.”
Note: the IMDb Top 250 Cultured Vultures are using is based on the standings from the 16th of November. Inconsistencies may apply.
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