By now, we’ve all had the message shoved down our throats that we’re going to have another hung parliament at the General Election, and thus another coalition. For the next five years we’ll have another political cocktail in charge of the country, a mashup even worse than those Goat Remixes that were a big thing a couple of years ago. Maybe that’s what Parliament needs. A few goats in the House of Commons sure would liven things up a bit.
Fantasy Frontbench lets you ditch the party system altogether, and create your ideal Cabinet from a mixture of whichever politicians you desire. Not the kind of desire below, but you know what I mean. You’re able to pick your Dream Team government, if that’s even possible.
You’re given a list of politicians, ranging from everyone who was an MP before the Dissolution of Parliament last month, as well as the majority of other Parliamentary Candidates that come from the likes of UKIP, SNP, Green Party and some independent candidates. A click of their name brings up their personal details and their voting history. This helps you in the right direction – you shouldn’t be putting someone who voted Against (very strongly) ‘Limit private NHS service’ as the Health Secretary.
I had a quick play around but didn’t get very far. I wasn’t familiar with a lot of the offerings, and upon digging deeper I felt that some of these MPs’ voting records were horrendous, especially when it comes to things like NHS privatisation, benefit cuts and the Iraq War.
I put Nicola Sturgeon as Scotland Secretary and Leanne Wood in the Welsh equivalent. Since the election campaign started, it’s been these two that have shown the most class, clarity and articulacy out of any of the party leaders. They give me hope that it won’t be long before people start to look to them as an example of the power of women in politics instead of Thatcher. Natalie Bennett should probably be in the mix as well, but she’s not been persuasive enough in this campaign. But seeing as she’s the leader of the Green Party (the clue’s in the name), I threw her in as Energy and Climate Change Secretary.
These aren’t the roles that Sturgeon or Wood currently holds, nor would they be if they were elected to Parliament. But if I had the choice, I’d want the leaders of both national parties to be in charge of their country’s affairs in the House of Commons.
No Northern Irish politician, from either DUP or Sinn Fein, appears to have ever voted clearly in favour of basic human rights such as Equal Gay Rights and Same-sex Marriage, so just to fuck them over I put David Cameron in as Northern Ireland Secretary. It wouldn’t be long before he fucked it up and they got the message.
Ed Miliband’s popularity has risen a fair bit in the past few weeks, so I’ve given him a chance as Prime Minister. I gave his best mate Ed Balls the job he’d have if Labour get into office in May, Chancellor of the Exchequer. I’m not sure whether he’d do a good job, but he’d have a no-nonsense approach and get straight to the point, as this tweet shows.
I wouldn’t quite call Fantasy Frontbench fun, but it’s certainly informative. It’s an innovative way to engage people in politics and a great resource for helping you decide whose box to tick in May.
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