I never thought I’d have the chance to write a headline like that. Cultured Vultures keeps on taking me to new, yeasty places every damn day.
I Am Bread put you in the role of a slice of bread on its way to conquer a toaster. Not a raider of tombs, the sole survivor of an alien race or a spinning bandicoot, but a slice of fucking bread. Fantastic. Can we just give it the Golden Joystick and be done with it?
Set for release on the 6th of December, I Am Bread is going to BREAK BREAD and leave its competitors CRUMBLED, making it the TOAST of the town. Thank you, I will be here forever as I have no life.
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