Apple Fan Becomes Consciously Aware

iPhone 7

Following the latest #AppleEvent, much has been said about the #iPhone 7’s two cameras and slightly different shape and look. Some sections of the #Apple fandom have been avidly pre-ordering the newest version of the #iPhone, but one man from Brighton has had an altogether different experience.

He has been awakened.

Unbeknownst to some, #Apple users suffer from a condition known as Shiny Shiny Syndrome (SSS), which causes sufferers to look past common financial sense because of the shiny. The #iPhone 7, well-documented to be rather shiny with little else to justify its price tag, has been a revelation to #Apple users. Adam Croxton has also found it to be a revelation, but probably not in the way you’d expect.

“I was watching the #AppleEvent on my #MacBook while Skyping friends on my #iPad and tweeting about it on my #iPhone when I had the strangest of sensations. As soon as the iPhone 7 was revealed, a great weight was lifted from my chest, as if a spirit was returning from whence it came, ” Croxton told local reporters.

“I think the headphones reveal triggered it. That’s bollocks, that is. I am not paying £30 just so I can listen to Blu Cantrell on the bus.

“What’s Android like these days?”

Croxton remains an isolated incident with #Apple fans unable to seek help for their SSS. We reached out to Croxton for comment, but he wasn’t available, according to Siri. She mentioned something about going to the farm.

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