INTRO: Still photos tell the story of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens surviving numerous officiating shenanigans at Night of Champions.
OPENING SEGMENT: Daniel Bryan entered the ring. Bryan promoted the women’s Royal Rumble match, prompting “Yes!” chants from the Newark crowd. It’s going to be “huge”, “awesome”, and a turning point in WWE history. Turning to the matter at hand, Bryan said tonight’s main event would consist of Owens, Zayn, and Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura, and AJ Styles.
McMahon walked out in what appeared to be a leather sport-jacket, and got his cheap pop by shouting out Newark. For our UK readers, Newark is a New Jersey town where the train stops on your way to Manhattan. McMahon fondly recalled his paradise lost at Night of Champions. Randy Orton hit Zayn “with the most beautiful RKO I have ever seen,” McMahon recounted. Shane smiled as he counted two, as he knew Zayn and Owens would be gone from WWE forever when he hit three. Before that could happen, however, Bryan “tripped” and landed on him to break the count. That is false; Bryan got shoved by Owens.
McMahon said he now knew that this mishap was an accident, but he didn’t know it at the time. His emotions got so overheated that Shane couldn’t make the count when Zayn had Orton rolled up. All he could think about, Shane conceded, was what Owens did to his father. And Zayn preventing McMahon from gaining retribution at Hell in a Cell. And both Canadians screwing Team SmackDown at Survivor Series.
McMahon accused Bryan of similarly losing his cool when he counted down Orton at lightning speed. Bryan said he did it to protect Shane from himself. McMahon claimed he didn’t need protection from Bryan. With all due respect, Bryan fired back, he did.
McMahon understood that Bryan had empathy for Zayn and Owens, but cautioned Bryan that they would eventually stab him in the back. From a business standpoint, it was important to avoid showing favoritism to that duo. Bryan reflected on the phrase “business standpoint”, and said that perhaps he and Shane have different visions for SmackDown. He walked up to McMahon, and said that if he wanted to fire someone, “Fire me. Because I don’t want to see Shane-o-Mac turn into Mr. McMahon.”
McMahon deliberately told Bryan that he trusted him implicitly, and wished him good luck with tonight’s show. He set the microphone down and left the ring calmly.
SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Usos vs. Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin (non-title)
Gable and Jimmy Uso engage in mat wrestling to start. Uso maneuvered Gable into his team’s corner and tagged his brother. Jey Uso entered and hit Gable with a running forearm. He smacked Gable with a big right hand, then whipped him chest-first into the turnbuckle (Gable took a running Bret Hart bump there). Jimmy tagged back in to boot Gable, then tagged Jey. He landed a hard elbow that floored Gable, who rolled outside the ring to stem the tide as we go to break.
Back in the ring, Jimmy Uso fought back against Shelton Benjamin, who whipped him into the ropes. Jimmy brought Benjamin down with a sunset flip, then gained a two-count with a small package. Benjamin caught an Uso kick attempt, but Jimmy spun around and scored with an enziguri. Both men tagged out. Jey Uso dropped Gable with two clotheslines, then hit his reverse crescent-kick/uppercut combination. Gable escaped a Samoan Drop, however, and went for an O’Connor Roll. Uso countered that move and got his Samoan Drop.
Uso called out to the crowd and hit a running hip-block to Gable in the corner. He ducked a charging Benjamin, sending Shelton tumbling to the outside. When Jimmy tried to press the advantage on Benjamin with a high-flying move, Shelton cracked him with a jumping leg strike. Gable took advantage of this distraction by school-boying Jey for a two-count. Jey immediately superkicked Gable as the two made it to their feet. He went to the top rope, where he was met by Benjamin. Jey knocked Benjamin off the top with a forearm, then turned his attention back to Gable. His splash landed on Gable’s knees. The former Olympian cradled Jey for the pin, but Jimmy Uso broke up the count.
Gable grabbed Jimmy and executed an O’Connor Roll into a German suplex. Benjamin reentered the fray and clocked Jey with a running knee. Gable hit Jey with another O’Connor Roll into a German suplex, and Benjamin picked up Jey for their top-rope reverse-bulldog/powerbomb maneuver. Big step for Gable and Benjamin to get a relatively clean win over the champs.
Result: Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable beat The Usos when Benjamin pinned Jey Uso after a top-rope reverse-bulldog/powerbomb maneuver.
Grade: B
SmackDown Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair made her entrance. We see noted women’s wrestling advocate Stephanie McMahon announce the women’s Royal Rumble match on Raw. Pretty lame to see Alicia Fox and Mandy Rose join hands in triumph at that announcement, considering Absolution beat the crap out of Fox earlier this month. Flair said that video package gave her goosebumps. She credited the fans for persuading management to book this match, and said she looked forwarded to defending her championship against the Rumble winner at WrestleMania.
Naomi danced into the live arena. She proclaimed that she is the first competitor to announce her entry into the Royal Rumble match. Furthermore, she would be seeing Charlotte at WrestleMania. Flair turned intense and said, “WrestleMania, it is.” Then the two busted out laughing for some reason as the Riott Squad walked to ringside. Liv Morgan appeared to be morphing into Alexa Bliss.
Naomi told the Riott Squad that they wouldn’t be entering the Royal Rumble because it’s every woman for herself. Standing in solidarity with Charlotte, Naomi said they’d survived everything the Riott Squad “chickenheads” could throw at them. She challenged two of them to face the veterans tonight. We go to break as the Riott Squad determined who would compete.
Charlotte Flair & Naomi vs. Ruby Riott & Sarah Logan
Flair controlled Sarah Logan as we join this match in progress. Flair belted Logan with a forearm and chops. She threw Logan into the ropes; Logan bounced off with an elbow, then ducked a big boot and chop-blocked Flair’s left knee. Logan pounded on Flair with repeated blows to the neck and back. Ruby Riott tagged in, snapmaring Flair and working over her leg with kicks. She bent Flair’s leg against her own, working for a submission. When Flair countered the hold, Ruby just booted her to prevent the tag.
Riott dragged Flair back to her corner. Logan tagged in and tried to tear up Flair’s knee with elbows and stomps. Riott tagged in and kept up the assault. Logan made the quick tag back in, picking up and slamming Flair’s knee into the mat. When she tried the move again, Charlotte landed on her feet. She placed a knee into Logan’s midsection and fought for the tag. Which she made, perhaps too soon and with little fanfare. Naomi pelted Logan with a flurry of forearms and punches. She nailed Logan with a roundhouse kick, then knocked Riott off the apron.
Logan school-girled Naomi for a one-count. Naomi got right back up and hit a sweet scorpion kick that rocked Logan. She followed up with a springboard enziguri that netted a two-count, forcing Riott to break up the cover. Charlotte evened the odds with a running big boot. With both women dazed, Logan stopped Naomi with a headbutt to the chest. She attempted to Irish whip Naomi into Morgan, who was standing on the apron. Naomi slid to avoid Morgan, then leapfrogged Logan, sending her crashing into her teammate. Logan turned and ran directly into the Rear View.
Result: Charlotte Flair and Naomi beat the Riott Squad when Naomi pinned Sarah Logan after a Rear View.
Grade: C+
Backstage, The New Day handed out gifts while in costume. Kofi Kinston rocked a gingerbread man outfit, Xavier Woods went as a reindeer, and Big E(lf) carried a tray of pancakes. Rusev and Aiden English confronted them. They were dressed as Santa Claus and a snowman, which portended a horrible gimmick match later this evening. English serenaded New Day with a challenge, and Rusev Claus stomped one of their pancakes.
A dapper Dolph Ziggler emerged for his U.S. championship celebration. He told the audience that anyone who thought his Clash of Champions win was a fluke “hasn’t been paying attention for the last 12 years.” Ziggler said he didn’t claim to be the biggest or baddest, just the best. He gave the audience a video playback of his first U.S. championship win over Kofi Kingston in 2011, then presented clips of his world title and Intercontinental championship victories.
Ziggler said he is one of the most decorated superstars in WWE history, and he’s proven it nightly for years. But his talent and accomplishments went unappreciated year after year. Ziggler yelled that the crowd wasn’t worthy of his presence. He asked if they wanted something by which to remember him. He gazed down at his championship belt, then dropped it on the canvas, pitched the microphone, and left the ring with a resigned look on his face. Intriguing promo that ended on a cliffhanger.
Zayn and Owens approached Bryan backstage with glee in their hearts. Owens thanked Bryan for his brilliant officiating by bequeathing a bottle of champagne to him. Bryan handed it back and told them he didn’t drink. Owens and Zayn told Bryan they knew why he counted down Orton on Sunday – because Randy stole his world championship at SummerSlam 2013. That’s an excellent callback. But, for now, all the matters is that Bryan got the last laugh on Orton, and the Canadians got the last laugh on McMahon.
Bryan told Zayn and Owens that they were completely delusional. He ordered them to stop grinning or he might fire them himself. Bryan told the duo to get ready for their tag-team match. Zayn and Owens grew grim and walked off.
The New Day vs. Rusev Claus and Aiden English
Yeah, everyone’s still wearing their Christmas costumes. Rusev did some biceps curls with his Santa bag, then gifted audiences with Happy Rusev Day shirts. The crowd chants for Rusev Day send Rusev himself into a frenzy reminiscent of Chong Li in Bloodsport. The snowman (English) fought the gingerbread man (Kingston). Kofi briefly barred English’s arm before English arm-dragged him and tagged Rusev. The two heels tried but failed to catch the gingerbread man with a double clothesline. Kingston twerked at Rusev, causing the Bulgarian Brute to chase him around the ring for the duration of this joke.
English took his best shot at catching Kingston, who dropkicked him and dumped a charging Rusev to the outside. Big E seized Rusev’s Santa bag and tossed t-shirts to the crowd. Until Kofi found a large pair of boxers with “Happy Rusev Day” written on the posterior. He and Woods stared at them disgustedly, giving English and Rusev time to blindside them. Rusev surreptitiously shoved the boxers inside his gear as we go to break.
Rusev stood on the gingerbread man when we return. The crowd chanted for pancakes. Kingston tried to battle back with rights and lefts, but ran into a Rusev lariat for a two-count. Rusev tried to block out the cries for pancakes. Kofi broke up his corner charge with a boot, then leapt into a tornado DDT. Both men tagged out, and Woods floored English with running forearms. Woods tossed English across the middle rope, then dropkicked him in the back. English countered an Irish-whip into the corner, only to absorb a boot. He stood tall to counter Woods’ Honor Roll move, however, dropping him from a fireman’s carry position into a spinebuster. Kingston made the save in a hat that brought to mind the headgear from The Handmaid’s Tale.
Rusev ejected Kofi from the ring, then sought revenge by imploring English to douse Big E’s pancakes in whipped cream. Rusev placed a single cherry on top of the mess. English tried to ram Woods head-first into the culinary concoction. Gingerbread Kingston crushed Rusev with a top-rope trustfall to the outside. When English tried to intervene, Woods and Kingston gave him a double-flapjack that sent Aiden face-first into the pancake platter.
Woods brought English into the ring and knocked him down with an enziguri. The reindeer flew across the ring with a top-rope-walk elbow drop for the win. This goofy match went over 100 times better than the Halloween-themed debacle on Raw a few months ago.
Result: The New Day beat Rusev and Aiden English when Xavier Woods pinned English following a top-rope-walk elbow drop.
Grade: B
AJ Styles, Randy Orton, & Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal, Kevin Owens, & Sami Zayn
The announce team strained to put over Mahal’s losing performance on Sunday, calling him a “true superstar”. Everyone who wrestles in WWE is considered a superstar, so that means nothing. Mahal and Orton started off, with Orton quickly moving to strike Owens and Zayn on the apron. He refocused on Mahal, knocking him down with an uppercut. The other four men spilled into the ring, then spilled out of it. Styles and Nakamura slammed Owens and Zayn respectively into the ringside barricade. Orton joined their fun by lifting Mahal for a back suplex, then dropping him onto the announce table.
Bringing his foe back into the ring, Orton peppered Mahal with right hands. Jinder countered an Irish-whip into the corner, then nearly fell prey to an RKO before scooting away. Orton belted a skittish Mahal with a clothesline, gaining a one-count. He tagged Nakamura, who was driven by Mahal into the Canadians’ corner. Zayn tagged in as he and Mahal took turns beating Shinsuke. Zayn rang Nakamura’s arm, then applied an arm bar and top wristlock. Nakamura cartwheeled out of that hold, then locked in his own arm bar. Zayn made it to the ropes, then fell victim to Nakamura’s headrest taunt and fingerpoke.
An upset Zayn missed a counterstrike, then ran directly into a Nakamura knee to the gut. Shinsuke snapmared Zayn over and landed a jumping kneedrop. He tagged Styles, who jostled with Zayn over suplexes and go-behinds. Zayn eventually tripped up Styles, who sprung up and took him over with a hurricanrana. Orton tagged back in and chucked Zayn stomach-first across the top-rope for a two-count. Mahal tagged in and Irish-whipped Orton. Randy kicked him when Mahal dropped his head, then ran into an elbow. Looking confident, Jinder placed a leaping knee into a prone Orton’s chest. Owens tagged in and stomped away at Orton as we go to our final break.
Owens worked a reverse chinlock on Orton upon our return. Orton fought out of the hold, then elbowed Owens before avoiding KO’s shoulder-tackle in the corner. Owens clutched his arm in pain after hitting the ringpost. Orton flung an interfering Zayn over the top rope, and tagged Styles. AJ fired up on Owens with several strikes, decking him with a clothesline. When he tried to bound off the ropes to gain momentum, however, Mahal pulled the middle strand down, causing Styles to fall to the concrete.
Owens rolled to ringside and heaved AJ into the barricade. Back inside the ring, Owens hit a senton for a two-count. Owens stuck his knee into Styles’ throat against the ropes, then tagged Zayn. Sami toyed with Styles, throwing right jabs at will. Zayn whipped Styles into the ropes for a hard clothesline, getting another two-count. Mahal tagged in and used the ropes to drop repeated knees on Styles. When Mahal began ramming shoulders into Styles, AJ countered with a knee, then planted Mahal with a tornado DDT out of the corner.
Nakamura and Zayn tagged into the match. Shinsuke ducked two Zayn shots before socking him with a flying kick. Owens entered the ring, only to catch numerous strikes culminating in an axe kick. Nakamura struck Mahal, then launched several kicks into Zayn’s chest. Sami caught the last one, but Nakamura quickly caught him with his other leg. Nakamura buried several knees into Zayn, then delivered Good Vibrations to him while Zayn stood slumped against the turnbuckle. The crowd chanted for Nakamura as he perched Zayn across the top rope, then landed a running knee strike to the gut for a two-count.
Nakamura called for Zayn to rise. When he did, he knocked him back down with a wheel kick for a near-fall. Nakamura attempted his exploder suplex, which he hasn’t successfully completed with any regularity since dropping John Cena on his skull. Zayn blocked the move and made it to the ropes. He took a cheap shot at Nakamura, who retaliated by flipping Zayn over into a cross-armbreaker attempt. Owens broke that hold with a senton. The action started breaking down, with Orton throwing Owens from the ring, then getting DDT’ed by Mahal. Styles intervened, nailing Mahal with a Pele kick, then propelling himself over the top rope to wallop Owens with a Phenomenal Forearm on the arena floor.
Nakamura and Zayn slowly recovered. Shinsuke lined up a Kinshasa, but was punched from behind by Samir Singh. The referee elected not to disqualify Mahal’s team, but to bounce the Singhs from ringside. As the brothers protested, Orton crushed Mahal with an RKO. When the Singhs came to the Maharaja’s defense, Orton sent them packing with a double rope-drape DDT. Styles called for Orton to watch out, then clobbered an interfering Owens with another Phenomenal Forearm. With his buddies knocked silly, Zayn recommenced trying to stand. Nakamura hit the Kinshasa for the win.
Result: AJ Styles, Randy Orton, and Shinsuke Nakamura beat Jinder Mahal, Kevin Owens, and Sami Zayn when Nakamura pinned Zayn following a Kinshasa.
Grade: B+
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