What Will the Next 33 Years of Music Be Like?

I combined my interests in music and sci-fi to write a “calendar” of what the next 33 years will look like for the music industry starting with the release of Tame Impalas’s Currents. In this timeline, a character called Khanye attempts to control the world by building an army of clone musicians who obey his every word. After living in seclusion for years, Kevin Parker, Leon Bridges and Keith Richards, who has recently woken up from a cryogenic freeze, fight to take the mighty Khanye down.

The World State of Music A.F.

107 After Ford (2015 A.D.) // Currents:

Australian band Tame Impala release their third studio effort, Currents. Extremely well received, both critically and commercially, the album catapults them into the mainstream. At the peak of their fame, they enjoy incredible success for modern standards. Shortly after the release, they become “the biggest band in the world.”

Tame Impala

108 A.F. (2016 A.D.) // Experience:

Music festivals continue to attract thousands of fans solely for the “experience.” Musical acts become tertiary to drug intake and socialization, now the main appeal of festivals around the United States. Culturally insensitive fashions and drug overuse are rampant.

108 A.F. (2016 A.D.) // The Greatest Living:

At one of said festivals, Kanye West declares himself “the greatest rock star alive.” This enrages Kevin Parker of Tame Impala. He then devotes his life to taking West down.

108 A.F. (2016 A.D.) // Progress:

Due to advances in technology and the integration of cloud computing and streaming as a preferred source of music, listeners have increasingly less ownership of their music. Instead opting for streaming services like Spotify, Apple Music and Pandora, they feel less and less compelled to buy it in physical form as time goes by, distancing artists from their fan base.

108 A.F. (2016 A.D.) // Uniformity:

Music festival lineups become increasingly homogenized as musical variety ceases to be the main focus of these events. Bands like Flaming Lips and The Strokes now almost exclusively operate under the “festival house band” model with many big name acts following suit. Tame Impala, the latest sensation, soon joins the ranks of these festival giants steadily climbing to the top. This renders many lineups to be nearly identical from city to city, festival to festival. Alas, Kanye sits at the top of the festival food chain.

108 A.F. (2016 A.D.) // Community:

Multi-genre underground music scenes around the world, while rich in good content and musical variety, are unable to penetrate the barriers imposed by the few companies who now control an extremely large portion of the music industry. Soon, they start to slowly but steadily dissipate.

109 A.F. (2017 A.D.) // Identity:

Leon Bridges rises to mainstream prominence with his brand of throwback classic R n’B. Having started out as a dishwasher in Ft. Worth, Tx the 27 year old is now one of the biggest artists in the world. An extremely rare case, Bridges is one of the very few “discovered, not manufactured” mainstream artists of such commercial success. Unusual for this time period, Bridges employs fully live instrumentation, analog production and substantial lyrical content, albeit borrowing stylistically from past artists. Before him, Adele enjoyed comparable success with a similarly stripped down musical style.

Leon Bridges


108 A.F. (2016 A.D.) // Stability:

The large majority of broadcasting channels and radio stations are now completely owned by a few select corporations and therefore have continuous rotations with increasingly limited variety and musical scope. Overly-produced, formulaic songs are now the norm in FM Radio. Lyrical writing levels in mainstream music are at an all-time low. Limited to their unvarying respective genres, staff-writers hired by major labels mass produce carefully calculated songs with different combinations of a small variety of subjects; pussy, ass, money, beer, trucks, bitches, shots (both gun and liquor), and bottles are all celebrated topics in mainstream music of the early 21st century.

109 A.F. (2017 A.D.) // Fewer Still:

Former thriving music scenes like Austin, Brooklyn, and Los Angeles continue to fall prey to big business and gentrification. Most musicians are priced out of the cities while many venues and music institutions become replaced by strip malls, banks, or luxury living complexes. This further reduces the amount of active musicians.

111 A.F. (2019 A.D.) // Past Life:

Tame Impala releases their fourth studio album, this time having a completely electronic sound not at all reminiscent of their previous studio albums. Though, initially well-received, it fails to retain the hype of the last and teenage audiences are quickly lured by the next pop sensation.

112 A.F. (2020 A.D.) // Kimye:

Kim Kardashian releases her debut pop rap album, PU$$Y//A$$ produced by self-proclaimed “Best Producer In The World” Kanye West. While critically panned, the album reaches #2 on the Billboard Charts, second only to Transformers 7: The Soundtrack.

114 A.F. (2022 A.D.) // Twistin’ & Groovin’:

At the threat of becoming “stale,” Leon Bridges moves on to an electronic style of music. The live band is gone and he now performs choreographed dance moves whilst lip syncing. Bridges achieves unprecedented levels of commercial success.

116 A.F. (2024 A.D.) // ‪#‎NowPaulIsDead‬:

Paul McCartney, the last Beatle alive, dies at 82 years old. #NowPaulisDead trends on twitter. His death marks the end of an era. The Beatles’ music sales experience a large spike which industry analysts call “the dying breath” of music sales.

116 A.F. (2024 A.D.) // Same Old Person, New Mistakes:

After attempting to record new material and reinvent Tame Impala’s brand, Kevin Parker becomes frustrated while trying to cope with how unrecognizable his sound has become, even to him. Unable to produce something he genuinely enjoys, he announces publicly that he is going on an indefinite hiatus. Meanwhile, West continues to acquire copious amounts of currency which he uses to expand his control over the music industry. Unlike other rappers/rock stars of the time, however, he does NOT bed large amounts of females. In 116, Year of our Ford, Kanye West is still uncharacteristically devoted to Kim Kardashian West and therefore only half of the era’s popular adage “Fuck bitches, get money” applies to him.

117 A.F. (2025 A.D.) // Nothing That Has Happened so Far Has Been Anything We Could Control:

Due to the decreased exposure to the masses (particularly the young), the guitar and other musical instruments experience a rapid decline in popularity as a hobby. Big instrument stores like Guitar Center, Sam Ash, and Musician’s Friend are forced to carry out massive downsizes reducing their operations to suit very small niche bubbles of consumers around the United States. Many independent “ma and pa” instrument shops have unfortunately gone out of business by this point.

118 A.F. (2026 A.D.) // Apocalypse Dreams:

Lady Gaga finally performs her long-delayed concert in space. After witnessing this historical event, Beethoven’s illegitimate long-lost great great great great grandson, Ludwig Khan Beethoven, has a visionary experience. Despite all indications of it being a bad economic decision, this leads him to open up his own music production company: Synthefreude Records.

119 A.F. (2027 A.D.) // The Bold Arrow of Time:

After being erroneously pronounced legally dead for the fourth time within two years, Keith Richards is still going strong.

119 A.F. (2027 A.D.) // Beeb Boob Boob Beep:

Katy Perry’s breast comes unscrewed at a show in LA’s Laser Adhesive Center (Formerly the Staples Center) exposing her to be a fembot made of completely robotic parts. She is immediately seized by government agents and taken offstage. The spectators that night are treated to complimentary kool aid on the way out. The public at large never finds out about this event.

120 A.F. (2028 A.D.) // The Less I Know The Better:

In two short years of existence, Synthefreude achieves extreme levels of success and influence within the frail industry. It is rumored that this is, in large part, due to the use of oppressive tactics and bribery to acquire music rights.

120 A.F. (2028 A.D.) Feels Like We Only Go Backwards:

Music is now a supremely rare subject to be taught in schools. It is mostly a pleasure reserved for those who seek it themselves, or those who are lucky enough to be born into a musical family.

120 A.F. (2028 A.D.) // Why Won’t You Make Up Your Mind?:

West learns of Ludwig Khan, the latest big player in the business, and approaches him with a proposition to join forces. Initially reluctant, Khan finally agrees and they merge all their assets. Unrivaled, Synthefreude begins their systematic overtaking of the industry.

Kanye West

120 A.F. (2028 A.D.) // Desire Be, Desire Go:

Through questionable methods, Synthefreude acquires all the music rights of the three biggest record companies. Universal Music Group, Warner Music Group, and Sony Music Entertainment subsequently go out of business.

121 A.F. – 128 A.F. (2029 – 2036 A.D.) // Replacement:

Synthefreude Records adds a hologram division to their label. Instead of signing musicians, the record label now deals exclusively with computer programmers and virtual reality animators and uses their vast catalog of song rights to supply their touring “bands.” Able to remain young-looking forever and execute music with excruciating precision and invariable dynamic, hologram bands become the norm for the music industry, replacing aging musicians prone to human error. While some human musicians remain, the hologram craze effectively replaces what was, until then, known as the music industry. One of the very last pre-Fordian music institutions in the world, the New England Conservatory of Music closes its doors due to a lack of applicants as the new generations fail to produce young human musicians. Many other music conservatories and universities follow in their footsteps. Most historical buildings in their campuses are leveled to make way for parking garages and office buildings. The Juilliard School of Music building in New York City now serves as Synthefreude’s world headquarters.

129 A.F. (2037 A.D.) // Cryonics:

The Rolling Stones, now an indie band without rights to their original music, wrap up their 75th anniversary shows failing to sell more tickets than their synthetically young hologram counterparts managed by Synthefreude. Fed up with the band’s decline, Keith Richards, 93 years old, goes into a deep cryogenic freeze with an indefinite revitalization date.

130 – 139 A.F. (2038 – 2047 A.D.) // The Age of Joy:

Many musicians try to combat the monopolization of the business by Ludwig and Kanye, who in response to the uprising decide to fuse their physical bodies to become invincible. The newly formed Khanye eradicates his opponents through use of deathly soundwaves. With most former prominent musicians now completely out of the picture, Khanye and his associates have total control of the music industry and its output. The power-hungry Khanye soon finds that the key to controlling the rest of the world is in the music.

After unsuccessful attempts to exert mind control using pre-existing songs (which were not designed, or “written” as they used to say, with the purpose of conditioning), Khanye commissions the best scientists in the world to help him develop a way of cloning famous musicians that can create new mind-numbing material. Together, they manage to isolate the gene that causes musical adeptness in humans. Thousands of musician embryos are bottled and injected with a mutated form of this gene through a procedure called the Wayneovsky Process. They are subsequently placed in the Azaleator Apparatus where they are genetically extracted of any potential desire for creating music of their own and instead are conditioned to create vile tuneage that dulls the population.

Finally, they are hatched and grown in incubators. With a whole new army of clone musicians unwilling to disobey orders, Synthefreude Records holds the first music festival in space: Earthella. While only the elite are able to attend, the strange synthetic music is broadcast onto Earth and can be heard all over the globe, regardless of location. After the broadcast, multiple reports of bizarre behavior surface. A wave of complacency washes over the people of Earth who now feel no eagerness to challenge or even question Khanye’s authority, musical or otherwise. With a lack of conviction, humans become cogs in Khanye’s master plan to control the Earth. He is able to manipulate the population into submission by broadcasting invasive frequencies that stun their minds.

This allows Khanye and his associates to overrun the world with their criminal activity. As a result, all remaining surviving musicians move out and away from Earth. The lucky ones, that is. While they continue to try and rebuild their music scene in a new planet,Gliese 581 c, they run into an unusual problem. There is too much helium in the atmosphere and it makes all singers sound like chipmunks. Quite frankly, it’s pretty fucking lame. Earth, which is now known as “The San Francisco of Planets” is overcome with monotonous songs and brainwashed people.

140 A.F.- ??? A.P.R. (2048 – ??? A.D.) // Lucidity:

After years living as a recluse and upon seeing the world plagued by environmental destruction, dangerous frequencies, and crime, Kevin Parker comes out of obscurity to usher in a new age for humanity. Having finally found his true sound and with new confidence, he travels to Alcor Life Extension Foundation where Keith Richards has been frozen for the past 11 years.

Keith Richards

Upon revitalizing and rejuvenating him, Parker teams up with Richards and together they head for New York City. When they arrive, they are immediately met with hostility from Khanye’s troops. Dozens of clones aggressively attempt to subdue Parker and Richards, who are largely outnumbered. For some time, the pair manage to stand their ground but there are so many of them, Kevin and Keith soon become fatigued. Just as they are about to surrender, a beautiful melody is heard in the distance which seems to have a disabling effect on Khanye’s army. Clutching their ears and gagging at the sound of the music, they are unable to fight back. Parker and Richards jump at the opportunity, eviscerating the herds of clones. After the smoke clears and the melody subsides, the mysterious troubadour is revealed to be Leon Bridges.

He explains that he has been working with Khanye as a double agent for the past five years. Through modifying the chemicals used during the Wayneovsky Process, he has been able to condition the clones to have adverse reactions to human-produced music. Their attacks have also been rendered ineffective on human musicians. With this revelation, the trio begin their trek to Khanye’s fort but not before yelling “KHHHHAAAANNNNNYEEEEEE” in perfect three-part harmony. By travelling through the city’s subway tunnels, they avoid the broadcasts of synthetic joy to which they are not immune. They are finally able to reach Synthefreude Headquarters and, through brain-melting sounds of their own, manage to subdue Khanye’s henchmen. They fight their way through swarms of clones including those of Stevie Wonder (who gets around with Echo-location), Country Joe and the Fish, Debbie Harry, 2 Chainz, Freddie Mercury, Beyoncé, Mac DeMarco, Pitbull and Flying Lotus, to name a few.

Parker, Richards, and Bridges, who are now joined by many other greats who have come out of seclusion, prove immune to their synthesis and overpower the army of clones making their way up to Khanye’s bunker. In his office, they disable the central broadcasting unit, freeing all other humans of their hypnotic state. After a brutal duel against Khanye that requires all of the humans’ strengths combined, they proceed to seize and incarcerate the villain. The people of Earth, upon seeing all the devastation their idleness has caused, vow never again to allow a travesty of the sort.

With a newfound unity, as well as an embrace for individual thought, they rebuild their cities and are never controlled again.

*Story partially adapted from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World and includes elements of other popular works of science fiction.

Some of the coverage you find on Cultured Vultures contains affiliate links, which provide us with small commissions based on purchases made from visiting our site. We cover gaming news, movie reviews, wrestling and much more.