Matt Warrliow unearths the best shit ever in Grind Your Enthusiasm.
Hey you! Yeah, you. Whatever you may be doing, stop doing it.
You’re at work, finishing that report that your boss wants in half an hour? Fuck them, they can wait. You’re in the middle of saving someone’s life? Stop it! They probably have life insurance anyway. You’re in the middle of making the sweetest, sweetest love to your soul mate? I don’t give a shit, stop it, right now! You’re at the vinegar strokes? SO FUCKING WHAT! This is worth it.
Why? Because I may have just found the greatest album ever made. Sure, that’s a pretty big claim, but I don’t make it lightly. This is the type of record that makes the world around you stop. An album which makes you feel like you’re living on a cloud. A collection of songs that will make you think ‘y’know what, everything is going to be just fine’. Or more accurately that everything will be ‘pretty, pretty, pretty, good’. This record, ladies and gentlemen, is Larry David’s ‘Grind Your Enthusiasm’.
That’s right, this is a Curb Your Enthusiasm themed grindcore band. Yes, I love pop music, and in fact, most types of music. But when you hear a metal version of the theme tune to the show, nothing else matters. When you have songs with titles including ‘Second-hand Semen’, ‘The Big Vagina’ and ‘The Bulgogi is Oscar (You’re Eating a Dog)’, it’s like you’re being given a word hug. The softest, sweetest word hug you’ve ever received. ‘Grind your Enthusiasm’ is a no-frills, straight forward record.
Each song starts with a quote from the show. Then once that quote finishes, blistering and brutal metal kicks in. And this happens 11 times in as many minutes. That’s it, that’s the whole record. Simple. Wait, what? You expecting more? MORE?! Why the fuck would you want more? This is sheer joy wrapped up in a small package for you, and hand delivered by a god that looks a bit like Larry David himself. And you want more? You could listen to this record 3 times in the same amount of time it’d take to listen to ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ once. And I know which one I’d choose, any day of the bloody week.
Still want more? Tough, because this is it. This is the end of everything. So, if you’re in a band, keep going on about ‘Sgt Peppers…’ being the greatest record ever made, or that Coldplay’s new sound is their ‘most adventurous yet’, just shut up, put anything you’re holding down and give up. Because whatever you produce, think or do will never, EVER be as good as this.
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