Cultured Vultures’ New Year’s Address for 2015: Don’t Be a Dick

Dapper Laughs is a dick

Being a massive cunt was all the rage in 2014. The human race has always had a natural propensity for cruelty but this year it really outdid itself. It was almost as if there were gold medals being handed out left, right and centre for who could be the biggest wanker.

The trend of unremitting twattery was not confined to just one hemisphere, it spread across the entire globe like some sort of misanthropist’s Ebola. It didn’t matter where you were or what you were doing, sooner or later you were going to cross paths with a colossal fuckery that you almost certainly didn’t deserve.

Dapper Laughs got famous off the back of being an awful person. Trigger-happy sociopaths in the Ukraine shot down an airplane full of innocent people and then tampered with the crime scene so they wouldn’t have to take the heat for it. A much-loved teacher was stabbed to death in front of her class in Leeds. Banal fascist Nigel Farage was all smiles after his collective of simpletons enjoyed support in the polls and not long after that, he was pronounced Briton Of The Year.

Oscar Pistorius is only doing five years for shooting his girlfriend. Murdering young unarmed black men in the United States has now turned into some sort of hobby for select members of its police force. Militants in Pakistan killed at least 132 children during an attack on a school. And let’s not forget the nightmarish spectacle of the so-called Islamic State presenting us with a catalogue of atrocities that boggle the mind in terms of sheer horror.

It all looks bad, and unless drastic steps are taken soon, we have no reason to believe it won’t get worse. So what, then, is the solution to this plague of ill deeds and bad intentions?

The answer, quite simply, is this: whoever you are, wherever you are, start being a more compassionate version of yourself.

This may seem like a daunting task at first. Kindness, alongside common sense, does not enjoy a high stock value in these troubled times. One need only look at at our dominant forms of entertainment as a reflection of our wider id. All our Strictlys, Bake-Offs and Apprentices do not speak of the virtues of human kindness, but instead extol the importance of competition so the individual may ascend by treading upon others, or be inspired to do so. If we do and say the right things, we are told, our peers will give us permission to thrive. There doesn’t seem to be much entertainment on our screens right now that commends us for treating others with dignity, empathy and respect. Because that’s just BORING LOL.

But in spite of all this, our sense of kindness – and the ability to deploy it – is more vital than ever. The reason for this is that the stakes are very high right now. In the absence of being nice to one another, a vacuum is developing, the sort that allows people like Nigel Farage to flourish as we have all become acclimatised to the idea that, in our misery and spite, we at least know what we’re dealing with, rather than having to take some extraordinary leap of faith that requires patience and faith in our collective sense of humanity.

But we have to do it, because if we don’t we are, quite frankly, fucked. In the absence of looking after one another, a Me-First culture has sprung up which encourages us to put our lives in the hands of the entitled, the bullies and the vapid. And the results aren’t pretty.

In this country alone, one in four children lives in poverty. The NHS is becoming corroded by privatisation and affordable housing as we know it may no longer exist in a couple of years. On a wider scale, the planet hovers on the verge of ecological catastrophe and is wracked daily by economic imbalance.

It may seem hackneyed, but there are several ways to be kinder to one another, and the list is virtually endless: give a small donation to charity, make dinner for a friend, call your folks and tell them how you’re getting on. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to shower affection on the one you love. Support local businesses. Read more books. Avoid judging people.

And no, it won’t always be easy. Kindness takes guts. It’s far easier to laugh and point and sneer than it is to dig deep and exercise understanding and decency. Being kind involves having to dig deep and make repeat attempts, a scary prospect in a society that is obsessed with quick fixes and entirely averse to the concept of failure. We have a better chance of surviving this entire clusterfuck if we work together as a species, rather than as individuals desperate for their piece of the pie.

Do your duty. The future depends on it.

Some of the coverage you find on Cultured Vultures contains affiliate links, which provide us with small commissions based on purchases made from visiting our site. We cover gaming news, movie reviews, wrestling and much more.