Along with the Cereal Killer Café in Shoreditch reeling in the punters, Simply Crispy in Belfast is now getting in on the act too and has sold out of stock within days of opening. The roaring success of these business ventures have proved to us one thing only: Hangover Food is in!
Whilst the Cereal Killer Café is being held up in court for becoming a symbol of gentrification (like Shoreditch wasn’t gentrified already), nobody can deny its made an absolute bumload of cash and I want some too.
So with that in mind, I donned my thinking cap to see if I could grab myself a piece of the hangover café pie.
Here’s what I came up with…
1. Rice and Soy Bar
Potential Location: Peckham, opposite The Bussey Building.
Whether you’re a basmati or pilau man or a Kikkoman or Amoy kinda girl, The Rice and Soy Bar does its best to recreate that “When the cupboard is bare” sensation. A bowl of pilau with a spackle of soy is a steal at £4.50.
2. Last Night’s Takeaway Café
Potential Location: Dalston Kingsland
“About Last Night” will raid the bins of local residents and repackage their discarded takeaways to you at a fraction of the price. We all know the takeaway after the night before is the perfect hangover cure and at just £7.50 for half an unfinished pizza, I think we know who’s winning. We’ll also offer a service where if you bring last night’s takeaway to us, we’ll reheat and serve it back to you for a humble £4.50.
3. Toast Bar
Possible Location: Hackney.
“Toast the Most” caters to those of us who possess a more delicate stomach. We’ve all woken up after a big one and thought “Fuck me, I don’t think I can handle anything but toast”, well come to a café that serves nothing but toast. “But my bank account is looking a bit dry after last night”. Well, worry not, a simple slice of brown bread lightly toasted can be enjoyed for a meager £3.70.
4. Condiments That Don’t Normally Go with Pasta
Possible Location: Brixton.
Picture the scene, you get up after a big one and come downstairs to find that all you have to soak up last night’s booze is some pasta and Marmite. You cook it up and find that it doesn’t taste particularly nice, is it because these foods don’t really go together and you should of made the trip to Tesco to buy pasta sauce? Or is it because you’ve not left it to the professionals? “My Condiments to the Chef” has got asta with ketchup down to an art form and at just £8.00, you’ll feel like you’ve robbed us.
5. Pilgrimage
Location: Various.
“Pop Up Pilgrimage” is the hangover cure for the post-modern drinker. If Harold and Kumar Get The Munchies has taught us anything, it’s that no matter what state you are in, no matter how far you have to travel, it just has to be THAT food. The pilgrimage is a pretty effective way to cure your hangover blues, it gets you washed, dressed and out of the house. So here’s how it works: download the app for £4.89, type in your postcode and we’ll send you the location of one of our pop-up stands. Now all you have to do is get there. Once you complete the pilgrimage, you’ll have the chance to have your photo taken by one of our resident photographers for just £15 and purchase a “I completed the pop up pilgrimage challenge”: a bargain at £30. We don’t actually serve any food, but don’t worry, you’ll probably be quite near somewhere that does, probably…
Some of the coverage you find on Cultured Vultures contains affiliate links, which provide us with small commissions based on purchases made from visiting our site. We cover gaming news, movie reviews, wrestling and much more.
