Video games are filled with both memorable characters, and forgettable ones. Everyone always talks about the best, so let’s take a moment to rant about the ones we hate. Not just the ones we didn’t like and forgot about, but the ones that pissed us off so much that we turn to drastic things, like writing a list about them.
In no particular order, it’s time for the characters that were not likeable in the slightest.
10. Vamp – Metal Gear Solid
My hate for Vamp is based less on his character than on his boss fight in Metal Gear Solid 2. While jumping around from one area to another, stopping every now and then to throw knives, and rushing past Raiden in what is probably the second hardest boss fight in the game (following only the fight against thirty Metal Gears), Vamp was a very annoying boss fight, partly also due to the fact that the room was so small. His smug attitude doesn’t make it much better, and is just another reason why Vamp deserves to die.
9. Delta/Zero – Zero Time Dilemma
Despite Zero Time Dilemma being one of my favourite games of 2016, the villain (Zero, or his real name, Delta) falls short in almost every aspect. Being the son of Sigma and Diana that they had sent back in time, he preaches about his “COMPLEX MOTIVES” as he threatens the lives of everyone in the world. His final dilemma, making the player choose between suicide or self-murder (it makes sense when you play it), is ultimately one of the easiest decisions in the game, posing much less of a moral problem that it could, and that, for the most part, is because of his empty delivery. Although the reveal is good, Delta as a character ruins every scene he’s the focus of.
8. Dr Robotnik/Eggman – Sonic the Hedgehog
Imagine you’re a kid, playing one of your first games. Now imagine that game is Sonic the Hedgehog. Chances are, you won’t be able to beat Dr Eggman. Being a kid, this will probably follow you in your dreams and haunt you until you’re finally able to beat him. It takes a while. Now, while I’m not necessarily good at video games now, I definitely sucked as a kid, and so Eggman was a nightmare for me then. I’m still traumatized by the sleepless nights I put into trying to defeat him.
7. The butler – Tomb Raider 2
This character was just plain annoying. Clanking around behind you with his stupid platter, he was a metallic tinnitus to anyone playing the training levels of Tomb Raider 2. He was hated by so many people that it was common knowledge how to lock him in the freezer. Good riddance.
6. Roman Bellic – GTA IV
“Hey Nico, it’s your cousin Roman. Want to go bowling?” No. No one wants to go bowling, Roman. Not with you. If you ask me one more damn time I’m going to tell you exactly where you can stick your stupid bowling and your stupid calls. Roman Bellic is by far the most annoying character in GTA IV, and it’s all thanks to his telephone antics, calling while you’re in the middle of a five star rampage through Liberty City, and just pissing you off.
5. Ashley Graham – Resident Evil 4
Escort missions are the bane of every gamer’s existence. Now, could something that’s already that bad get any worse? You bet it can! Repetitive high-pitched screams of “Leon, help! Leon, help!” and what has to be probably the dumbest AI to ever be dumped into a game. The president’s daughter somehow also happens to be the most helpless brat you could ever think of and to top it all off, she seems to have a death wish.
4. Resetti – Animal Crossing
Have you ever met the personification of a heart attack? Well now you can! With Resetti digging his way into your front yard every time you purposely or accidentally reset the game, you’ll never want to forget saving again! Each time you forget to save, he pesters you a little bit longer, and if you do it too often in a row, it can feel like you’re stuck in a constant ranting loop with the angriest non-metaphoric mole you’ll ever see.
3. Navi – Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
I’m only choosing one of the two most annoying companions from the Legend of Zelda series for the main reason that this is the one that annoyed me first. Navi, the blue glowing winged turd that would do better to just shut its annoying little mouth. HEY! LISTEN! LOOK! HEY! HEY! LISTEN! Please, Navi, just stop. Why Nintendo decided on making the companion that Link (and the player) is supposed to trust the most annoying character in the game will forever be a mystery.
2. You – all RPGs
While some players try to choose the high route and do everything right, others just go for total chaos. Killing everything they see, destroying people’s homes, stealing their life savings and so much more. Depending on how you play the game, you are the least likeable character in the game. You have the freedom to choose how much of an asshole you want to be to the NPCs, and you can make or break their day. I usually take the evil route, as it often brings in more money, and it’s a hell of a lot more fun.
1. The dog – Duck Hunt
No list about unlikeable characters in gaming would be complete without the Duck Hunt dog. Popping up at random times to block the line of fire, and laughing snidely as he pops out of the grass, this dog is one that you will not cry for. You might cry because of it, but it will certainly not be because it died. It’s fairly likely that this dog is the reason Nintendo gave the Wiimotes straps, because frustrated people were launching their NES Zappers in frustration. I’d make a pun about this dog being a bitch, but I don’t want to have to talk about this dog anymore. I need to get away from it.