WWE WrestleMania 34 Match Card and Predictions

Christmas for wrestling fans has arrived. No matter the build or the card, we can’t help but feel that all too familiar rush of excitement when WrestleMania rolls around. While the build has left a lot to be desired, that same complaint cannot be levelled at the card. Many have said that this is the best Mania card of all-time on paper. Perhaps a tad hyperbolic, but it’s easy to see where everyone’s coming from when you look up and down the announced matches.

This is also a unique WrestleMania in that one match hasn’t actually been confirmed yet. John Cena vs. The Undertaker has been teased but is yet to be made official. As it stands, it looks pretty likely to happen, but there could very well be a swerve waiting for us. Due to the uncertainty surrounding that match, I won’t be providing a prediction for it. So, the best I can do is break down the rest of the card.

 

André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Get your bladders ready everyone, the piss break is gonna be early. We’ve got the ill-fated battle royal that WWE insists on peddling out there every year to stink up the pre-show. At least it won’t be sullying the main card. There are many names here and few of them to care about. Matt Hardy seems to have been the only person who’s actually cared about winning the trophy, to the point where you’d probably forget about it without him.

Prediction: Goldberg was originally rumoured to be taking part to coincide with his Hall of Fame Induction the night before. However, they’re not going to waste what would be his retirement match on the pre-show. Predicting a match with such little build is a crap shoot, so I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and wager on a returning Big Cass.

 

WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal

Well, here’s a match that was cursed from the outset. From the tasteless original name that honoured The Fabulous Moolah, to the much lambasted trophy and its questionable design choices, this was doomed to be condemned to the pre-show with its male counterpart. Most of this match’s build has been focused on the dissent between Sasha Banks and Bayley, who feel like the only viable winners.

Prediction: If WWE are really going in the direction of a heel Bayley, her winning here and bragging about it the next night on Raw feels natural. Expect a reversal on Sasha’s elimination of her at the Rumble, as Bayley stabs her would-be best friend in the back to win.

 

Cruiserweight Championship Match

Cedric Alexander Vs. Mustafa Ali

A match that has been lamented by many for not being included on the main card, these two guys will aim to steal the show before it even begins properly. 205 Live’s rejuvenation with Triple H at the helm has seen both Cedric and Mustafa put on damn near classic matches in their respective journeys to the title. The addition of the man formerly known as Rockstar Spud in the role of face GM Drake Maverick has sold a lot of fans on this match. I imagine many will be tuning in early to catch a potential show stealer.

Prediction: I’m aware that the majority are backing Mustafa Ali due to his incredible promo work in the build to the tournament final, but Cedric’s time is here. His run in the company was initially sidelined due to injury. Upon his return, it became clear that he was being positioned to take the belt off Enzo Amore. That got cut short at first due to an eye injury on Enzo’s part, before being cut short further still by Amore’s controversial release from the company. Cedric has come so close to the title too many times to fall now. At this point, he’s the heir apparent.

 

Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship

The Usos (C) Vs. The New Day Vs. The Bludgeon Brothers

There have been rumblings that this will be contested under TLC rules after an apparent leak on the WWE app. That hasn’t come to pass, however, so barring a last minute announcement on the night, it’s looking to be contested under traditional triple threat rules. We have The Usos in their first ever match on the Mania main card (which is insane), The New Day fulfilling their role as the only other established tag team on SmackDown, and The Bludgeon Brothers with their hammers. Fair enough.

Prediction: The Usos have held the belts longer than any other team on SmackDown, and I feel that their stranglehold will continue. The New Day don’t need it, and I see Harper & Rowan being fed to the Authors of Pain once they’re called up. The Usos have put in work to reinvent themselves as the standard bearers for tag team wrestling in WWE. Their first ever real WrestleMania match should end in victory.

 

Fatal Four-Way Match for the United States Championship

Randy Orton (C) Vs. Bobby Roode Vs. Jinder Mahal Vs. Rusev (with Aiden English)

The addition of one Mr. Rusev has saved what was once a rather underwhelming triple threat from indifference. The most organically over man in the entire company allegedly requested his release a few weeks back and was offered this match as a bargaining chip. The issue is that this means he’s either winning or taking the fall, there is no inbetween. Randy Orton winning the belt from Bobby Roode was a transparent endowment of the vaunted Grand Slam on Randy, so he likely isn’t having a meaningful reign. Jinder Mahal is also in the match.

Prediction: It’s not an easy one to call, but Bobby Roode seems primed to get his belt back. Everyone involved could reasonably win. This includes Jinder Mahal, who we must remember held the WWE Championship for the majority of last year. A fact that I still have a hard time believing. Roode was built for a WrestleMania moment, he’s gonna have a ludicrous entrance and leave with his title.

 

Raw Women’s Championship Match

Alexa Bliss (C) Vs. Nia Jax

The body shaming storyline between Bliss and Jax hasn’t made for comfortable television. Alexa has been at her most devilish and Nia has had far too many vulnerabilities exposed, betraying her monster presence. The only decent way to provide a pay off would be a dominant squash on Nia’s part. Alexa needs the ultimate comeuppance.

Prediction: It’s among the easiest matches of the night to predict. Nia to win and hopefully with ease.

 

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon Vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

The feel good story of the year will culminate with Daniel Bryan’s first WWE match in almost three years. If D-Bry and his partner Shane defeat Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn, then the latter will stay fired from SmackDown Live. If not, then the two best friends will be reinstated. I’ve only just realised that it’s the exact same stipulation as Johnny Gargano vs. Tommaso Ciampa from the night before.

Prediction: Daniel Bryan isn’t losing his big return match. That would be fantastically dumb. I know WWE are capable of such profound stupidity, but this would be a step too far. Owens and Zayn can lose and go to Raw. No harm, no foul.

 

Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship

The Miz (C) Vs. Finn Bálor Vs. Seth Rollins

The workhorse title being contested by three workhorses, it’s only appropriate. With The Miz recently becoming a father, it seems obvious that he’ll be taking some time off after Mania. This leaves Finn and Seth, which is a tough call. Seth pinned Finn clean on Raw this week, booking logic 101 dictates that whoever stands tall on the go-home show isn’t winning. However, Rollins has been booked unbelievably strong this year, even pinning Roman Reigns and John Cena clean in the same match. On the other hand, Finn desperately needs something to make him relevant again, this could be just the ticket.

Prediction: Only because I can see Seth feuding with Roman over the Universal Title after Mania is done (spoiler alert), I’m picking Finn Bálor.

 

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match

Charlotte (C) Vs. Asuka

Streak vs. Title, Queen vs. Empress. The most important women’s wrestling match in history? Probably. Asuka’s warpath goes right through WWE’s most gifted female performer in a title bout for the ages. The build has been far from perfect, but these two are guaranteed to deliver on the night.

Prediction: It feels too soon to end Asuka’s streak, and there’s no one else to challenge for Charlotte’s crown if she’s triumphant here. Asuka will win. The real question is whether or not we’ll see a Carmella cash-in. I believe we will, and I believe she’ll fail. It seems pretty cheap to have both Money in the Bank winners from last year to be unsuccessful, but sacrificing Asuka’s streak in such quick fashion doesn’t feel right.

 

Mixed Tag Team Match

Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey Vs. Triple H & Stephanie McMahon

Undoubtedly a blockbuster encounter. This will be Kurt Angle’s first WrestleMania match in 12 years, as well as the in-ring WrestleMania debut for both Ronda Rousey and Stephanie McMahon (I know, I’m amazed Steph hasn’t had a Mania match as well). Triple H is the ring general here, being the most tenured WWE performer in the match. All eyes will be on Ronda Rousey, who WWE are taking a massive gamble on.

Prediction: Ronda will be the one to win the fall for her team, and she’ll do it by forcing Stephanie McMahon to tap out.

 

WWE Championship Match

AJ Styles (C) Vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Many are calling this a dream match. They’re right. In a rematch from Wrestle Kingdom 10 (not that WWE will tell you that directly), men’s Royal Rumble winner Shinsuke Nakamura is looking to win his first title in WWE at the expense of “The Phenomenal One.” If all goes well, this will be a masterpiece to behold. Both men are world class performers with the world watching them. It has to be a classic.

Prediction: Nakamura needs to win far more than AJ does. I know it seems a little anticlimactic for Styles to lose twice in a row, but Shinsuke can’t keep winning on TV only to falter when the belt’s on the line. WWE need to do what they should have done at SummerSlam and slap the title on “The King of Strong Style.” Afterwards, AJ can go to Raw for fresh feuds and stories. He’s done everything he can for the blue brand at this point.

 

Raw Tag Team Championship Match

The Bar (C) Vs. Braun Strowman & TBD

Sadly, this will likely be a nothing match to serve as a buffer between the two world title contests. Sheamus & Cesaro deserve better. The source of intrigue is who will be teaming up with Braun Strowman, as general manager Kurt Angle informed him that he needs a teammate or he’ll forfeit the match. Names such as Elias, Bray Wyatt, James Ellsworth and even Alexa Bliss have been thrown around. It doesn’t really matter, as whoever it is is essentially getting a free belt.

Prediction: Braun Strowman is gonna beat both guys and demonstrate why the Raw tag team division lacks depth. I don’t really care who his partner is, as long as this is over mercifully quickly. Everyone involved isn’t being given the shine they should be.

 

Universal Championship Match

Brock Lesnar (C) (with Paul Heyman) Vs. Roman Reigns

Their last singles encounter was a sleeper hit, but it did have the advantage of the incredible Seth Rollins cash-in. With no such contingency in sight this time around, it’s on Roman and Brock to take us home happy. In the last three years, a fair few people have come around on Reigns, and he isn’t going to be met with a shower of boos on the same level that he was at WrestleMania 31. Expect a slug fest that will hopefully prove to be a strong end to what looks like a solid Mania.

Prediction: Roman’s destined to win. Vince McMahon has been building towards this for three years now. He won’t be denied by a vocal crowd again. Dana White recently let slip that Brock is coming back to the UFC, inadvertently potentially spoiling the main event. Though it probably wasn’t inadvertent, as UFC 223 is happening the same weekend, Dana might just be trying to screw over the competition. Whatever the case, Reigns will be the one to finally put an end to Brock Lesnar. We all just have to accept it at this point.