INTRO: Royal Rumble winner Shinsuke Nakamura was introduced in the cold open. Play-by-play announcer Tom Phillips stated that Nakamura is truly the rock star of WWE. And WWE chose to hammer home that sentiment in the bluntest way possible by flashing the word “ROCKSTAR” across the screen in big red letters.
OPENING SEGMENT: Nakamura recapped all the superstars who received his knee to the face (Sami Zayn, John Cena, and Roman Reigns) at the Rumble. He promised that AJ Styles would meet the same fate at WrestleMania: “Knee. Face. New WWE Champion.”
Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn walked out. KO claimed he and Zayn were “screwed out of our title” at the Rumble. As Styles pinned the wrong man, Owens reasoned, they should receive another two-on-one handicap match at WrestleMania – and Nakamura should get nothing. Zayn yelled “Yep” and bounced around like a toddler who swigged three cans of Red Bull. As Owens and Zayn started to maliciously approach Nakamura, the WWE champion made his appearance. Styles suggested that he and Shinsuke turn their dream match into a dream team, and challenged their foes to a tag match later tonight. Owens and Zayn left the ring, only to pop back up on the apron and simultaneously intone, “Nope.” Styles and Nakamura took that opportunity to forearm them in their faces.
Owens and Zayn pled their case to SmackDown general manager Daniel Bryan. The GM officially booked the Owens-Zayn vs. Nakamura-Styles match for tonight, and told them that the referee’s decision was final regarding their Rumble championship bout. Bryan did agree to grant them another WWE championship match. Next week, Owens and Zayn would fight each other, with the winner wrestling Styles for the WWE title at the Fastlane pay-per-view.
Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Zack Ryder (Fatal 4-Way #1 Contender Match for the U.S. Title)
After standing around like goons for that entire backstage segment, the four in-ring competitors started fighting. Rusev battered Zack Ryder out of the ring while Jinder Mahal went to work on Kofi Kingston in the corner. Kofi out-quicked Mahal with a sunset flip and a rolling cradle pinning combination, but Mahal stunted his momentum with a big kick to the face. Ryder reentered the ring and ducked Jinder’s running charge, sending the Maharaja tumbling over the top rope to the floor. Ryder threw strikes at Rusev, who stifled his offense with a body avalanche.
The action reverted back to Mahal beating on Kingston and Rusev working over Ryder in opposite corners. The heels attempted to whip their opponents into each other; Ryder countered Rusev’s Irish whip to send the Bulgarian into a Kingston dropkick. Ryder proceeded to clothesline Mahal and execute a neckbreaker on Kingston. Mahal broke up the ensuing pinfall, clubbing Ryder with forearms. When Mahal went for a backdrop, however, Ryder planted him with a faceslam, then clotheslined him to the arena floor. Ryder knocked Mahal into the announce table with a wrecking-ball dropkick. Kingston followed suit with a big trustfall over the top rope onto both men.
Rusev stomped around mid-ring, ready to launch his own aerial assault. As he bounded off the ropes, Sunil Singh grabbed his ankle. Aiden English intervened by shoving Singh into New Day’s pancake tray. The referee responded to these antics by tossing everyone involved from ringside as we went to break.
Back in live action, all four competitors were outside the ring. Mahal tried to whip Kingston into the steel stairs. Kofi vaulted over the stairs, tried to springboard off them to attack Mahal, then got pushed into them anyway. Mahal viciously whipped Rusev into the steel post, then rolled Ryder into the ring for an unsuccessful pin attempt. The Maharaja dropped knees repeatedly into Ryder’s chest.
Rusev got back into the action, exchanging blows with Mahal and dropping him with two kicks. He celebrated Rusev Day by smashing into Mahal with a running hip-block. Rusev tried the same move on Ryder, who booted him and cracked Rusev with a dropkick off the middle turnbuckle. Ryder beat down Rusev with forearms, then landed the Broski Boot. Mahal immediately nailed Ryder with a thrust kick, then tried unsuccessfully to pin Rusev.
Mahal appeared to be the only man left standing until Kingston dropped him with a springboard double-axhandle. Kingston hit the Boom Drop on Mahal, then nearly scored the win with an SOS on Ryder. Mahal broke up the pinning combination and decked Kofi with a short-arm clothesline. Rusev flung Mahal over the top rope. Declaring a state of Rusev Day, he placed Kingston atop Ryder to attempt what Corey Graves dubbed a “Stackolade”. As he went for the double-Accolade, Mahal rolled Rusev up for a near-fall. When Rusev kicked out, Mahal leveled him with a high-knee.
Mahal signaled for the Khallas. Rusev tossed Mahal to the mat, then alley-ooped a charging Ryder onto Mahal for an assisted Rough Ryder. Rusev concluded their teamwork with a roundhouse kick to Ryder’s skull. He then ducked a Trouble in Paradise kick from Kingston and blocked an SOS attempt. Rusev executed an O’Connor Roll on Kingston, then quickly transitioned into the Accolade for a tap-out victory.
Result: Rusev beat Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, and Jinder Mahal in a Fatal 4-Way match by tapping out Kingston with the Accolade.
Grade: B
The Usos cut a backstage promo. Their catchphrases flashed on the screen (“On Lock!”) as the twins spoke those words. This cartoonish production can only harm a team that benefitted from a gritty, no-frills image this past year.
Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin traded insults with Breezango backstage. Benjamin asked Breezango if they thought they could beat his team tonight. Gable preempted their response by flipping over Breezango’s social media table.
The Usos made their way to the ring. Uce bragged about their straight-falls victory over Benjamin and Gable at the Royal Rumble. Dammit, an on-screen graphic of a jail cell door slammed shut each time they listed a tag team they’d beaten. The Usos rattled off a litany of struggles that people endure daily, proclaiming that they work through their hardships together. A strong message, but that stupid graphic just undercut everything they were trying to say.
The Bludgeon Brothers vs. Two Unnamed Wrestlers
Harper pounded one of the unnamed grapplers into a corner, then tagged Rowan, who launched his partner into their unfortunate opponent. Harper repaid the favor by feeding the cannon fodder into a Rowan cross-body-block. Rowan tagged Harper, who skulked around the ring toward their opponent’s corner.
As Rowan lugged around Jobber One’s carcass, Harper stood sentinel to prevent Jobber Two from running away. Rowan tagged Jobber Two with his partner’s body, making him the legal man. He then creatively used Jobber One to knock J2 off the apron into the barricade. Harper clocked Jobber Two with a boot outside the ring. After carrying him for about a minute, Rowan threw J1 into the corner with a bodyslam, then tagged in to crush both opponents with a corner avalanche. The Bludgeon Brothers executed a double-powerbomb on J1 and their double-crossdrop on J2 for the win.
Result: The Bludgeon Brothers beat Two Unnamed Jobbers when Erick Rowan pinned Jobber Two following a double-crossdrop.
Grade: C-
Bryan stood backstage with a hand-held camera to announce the first-ever SmackDown Top-Ten List. This week, the SmackDown superstars would vote for the competitors they believed were most deserving of future opportunities. Horribly, the words “New & Different” and “Engaging” popped on-screen to make this segment even dopier. I hate this production concept. Bryan ended the segment by futilely trying to energize the Philadelphia crowd with his “Yes” chants.
Tye Dillinger conversed with Shane McMahon, noting that Zayn and Owens stole his spot at the Royal Rumble. Baron Corbin ambled over to complain louder about his own lack of opportunity. He asked if Dillinger was still here; Tye responded that he was, unlike Corbin’s Money in the Bank contract. Quality burn. McMahon booked a match between them for tonight.
In the ring, SmackDown Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair fielded interview questions mid-ring from Beetlejuice. Ah, that’s just Renee Young doing cosplay. Flair told Young that it was incredible to watch the first women’s Royal Rumble match from ringside, and she wished she’d competed in the event.
The Riott Squad interjected. Ruby Riott insulted Flair as impossibly arrogant and entitled, claiming to be an original while condemning Flair as just a cheap imitation of her father. Her stable-mates circled Charlotte as Riott darkly implied that Flair wouldn’t make it to WrestleMania. All three heels swarmed the champion, hitting their finishers on Flair.
As the Riott Squad left the ring, Carmella’s music hit and the Staten Island Princess ran to the ring with her Money in the Bank briefcase. Humorously, Carmella nudged Charlotte with her shoe a few times to ensure she was incapacitated before handing over the briefcase to the referee. As the official gave instructions to the ring announcer, Carmella tried to dropkick a woozy Flair. She missed, instead striking the referee in the posterior and knocking him to ringside. She thought better of challenging Flair as the pissed-off champion rose to her feet, and left the ring before the bell rang.
Backstage, Nakamura got loose for his tag-team match. Styles approached to inquire about their strategy. Nakamura told Styles twice that he’d beat him at WrestleMania, then admitted to teasing Styles before walking away.
Staying backstage, Beetlejuice Young talked to Carmella, who said she wasn’t going to cash in her Money in the Bank contract with a broken nail. Smart thinking.
Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin
Corbin tried to blindside Dillinger in the corner to start this match. Tye saw him coming and struck him with a sidekick. Dillinger followed Corbin to ringside and belted him with left hands. He fired Corbin into the ringside barricade, then leapt off the steel stairs and clobbered him with a forearm. Dillinger brought the action back inside the ring. He peppered Corbin with left hands in the corner until the Lone Wolf stymied his attack with a pop-up knee. Corbin bulldozed Dillinger to his back and smothered him with repeated forearms.
Corbin took a running start and squashed Dillinger against the turnbuckles. When Dillinger responded with forearms, Corbin slugged him with a right-hand haymaker. Corbin tossed Dillinger over the top rope as we went to break.
Corbin kept Dillinger grounded as we returned to action. Dillinger fought to his feet, created separation, and avoided a Corbin charge into the corner. The Lone Wolf slid to the outside of the ring, dove back inside, whiffed on a clothesline, and missed a corner shoulder-tackle, this time running into the ringpost. Dillinger struck Corbin with left hands, a running forearm, and a bicycle kick. The Perfect Ten scored with a knee lift and short-arm clothesline.
Dillinger dropped his right kneepad and picked up Corbin for the Tyebreaker. Corbin dropped out of Tye’s clutches, then pushed him into the ropes and leveled him with a forearm to the back of the head. Corbin executed a chokeslam backbreaker, then casually hit the End of Days for the win.
Result: Baron Corbin pinned Tye Dillinger after the End of Days.
Grade: C+
Rusev Day shot their own backstage video. Rusev boasted that he’d dethrone “Bah-Brood” next week. In his own video, Roode stood next to a calendar labeling February 6 as Rusev Day. He used a marker to circle Rusev Day, then marked off the entirety of next week as “Glorious”.
Zayn and Owens sat grumpily in their locker room. They got catty about their individual Royal Rumble performances, as Owens promised that Zayn wouldn’t fail – “tonight.”
Breezango vs. Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin
Benjamin circled Fandango intently before knocking Breeze off the apron with a high knee. Fandango made him pay with right hands and some hard chops. Benjamin reversed an Irish whip into the ropes; Fandango countered a back-drop attempt with a kick, but then ran into a Benjamin spinebuster. Benjamin applied a hammerlock to Fandango, then tagged Gable, who buried a knee into Fandango’s midsection.
Gable dropped knees on Fandango’s left arm, continuing to target that appendage. When he whipped Fandango into the ropes, Fandango ducked, then hit a V-lock into a bulldog for a two-count. Fandango went for his own Irish whip. Gable slid under the bottom rope and took out Breeze’s legs, causing Tyler to face-plant on the apron. Gable then mounted the apron and tried to sunset flip over Fandango, who sidestepped the move, bringing Gable down across his knee for a two-count.
Gable came right back at Fandango with a somersault kick, gaining his own two-count. He applied an arm bar, then attempted another knee strike to Fandango’s gut. Fandango outmaneuvered Gable, diving over his left knee and executing a rolling cradle for a two-count. He ducked under a Gable clothesline to tag Breeze. Prince Pretty nailed Gable with a sidekick and running dropkick, then decked Benjamin with an enziguri.
Breeze scored with a running forearm to Gable, then tried to whip Gable into Breezango’s corner. Gable countered that attempt, then made a blind tag to Benjamin while failing to hook an O’Connor Roll. Fandango spied potential trouble and entered the ring; Gable ducked his clothesline and hurtled toward Fandango with a cross-body-block, taking both men over the top rope to the floor. Breeze temporarily stopped Benjamin with a kick to the chest. Benjamin blocked his hurricanrana attempt, however, and lifted Breeze up for his team’s top-rope reverse-bulldog/powerbomb finisher.
Result: Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin beat Breezango when Benjamin pinned Tyler Breeze after a top-rope reverse-bulldog/powerbomb combination maneuver.
Grade: C+
WWE Champion AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
Styles and Owens started off with some mid-ring counters. A prone Styles seized Owens in a head-scissors takedown, prompting KO to quickly tag out. Nakamura tagged in, countering Zayn’s wristlock with a cartwheel and applying his own armbar. When Zayn made the ropes, Nakamura mocked Sami with his head-rest/arm-wave taunt, which Owens called, “That stupid thing.”
Nakamura further antagonized Zayn with his “C’mon” motion. When Zayn did advance, Nakamura halted his momentum with a knee to the stomach, a snapmare, and a leaping kneedrop. Nakamura amplified some Good Vibrations on Zayn, and tagged Styles. AJ pelted Zayn with rights, which Sami countered with a headlock. Styles sent Zayn off the ropes and caught him with a dropkick. Styles tagged Nakamura, who Zayn drove into his own team’s corner. He and Owens hit Nakamura with repeated blows to the ribs. Owens stomped away at Nakamura, then clubbed Shinsuke in the face with a forearm.
Zayn tagged in, lacing into Nakamura with punches and chops. Owens tagged in to throw yet more strikes as his team effectively cut the ring in half. Nakamura reversed an Owens Irish-whip, only to get kicked by a rebounding KO. Shinsuke blocked Owens’ follow-up offense with a big forearm, however, then drove his left knee into Owens repeatedly. When Zayn tried to interfere, Nakamura dumped him to ringside. That distraction allowed Owens to floor Nakamura, who then fell victim to a short-arm clothesline.
Owens yelled at his partner to get up and help him, then covered Nakamura for a one-count. Zayn eyed Owens warily as KO reengaged Nakamura. Shinsuke used this respite to recover, and forearmed Owens from the ring. KO collided with Zayn upon being ejected, and the two best friends argued at ringside. Taking exception to Owens’ remarks, Zayn paced up the entrance ramp, threatening to abandon his partner as we went to our final break.
We returned to visit Chinlock City as Zayn watched from the top of the ramp. Styles fought out of the hold, evading Owens’ strikes before landing a flurry of his own shots and clotheslining KO. Styles bashed a seated Owens with a running forearm, then scored with a leaping clothesline in the corner. When KO slipped out of an ushigoroshi, Styles proceeded to lift Owens for a back suplex, then face-planted him instead. AJ went for the cover, which Zayn broke up at two.
Owens tagged his prodigal partner, who swung at Styles with crossface forearms. Zayn got a two-count with a high back-body-drop. Sami applied his own reverse-chinlock while Owens berated him for a tag. Fed up, Zayn obliged, and Owens garnered a two-count with a senton. KO “tagged” Zayn in with a chop to the chest, and Zayn “tagged” him right back. With his opponents jawing at each other, Styles rose and grabbed Owens for an O’Connor Roll, knocking Zayn off the apron and gaining a two-count. Owens put him back down with a clothesline. His momentum was short-lived, as Zayn really did take a walk.
As Owens watched his partner storm up the aisle, Styles geared up for a Phenomenal Forearm. Owens countered that move into a gutbuster, following up with a Vader Bomb-style elbow drop for a near-fall. Owens cheap-shotted Nakamura, then went for the Pop-up Powerbomb. Styles hurdled Owens and hit him with a Pele Kick. Nakamura tagged in and rocked Owens with his own flying kick. He laced into KO with kicks, then executed his running knee to the gut as Owens hung over the top rope.
Nakamura lined up the Kinshasa. Owens bailed to ringside, where Styles foiled his escape attempt and hurled him back inside. Nakamura dazed Owens with a wheel kick, then clouted him with a Kinshasa for the victory.
Result: AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura beat Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn when Nakamura pinned Owens after a Kinshasa.
Grade: B
Zayn was shown watching the match’s conclusion backstage. Young asked if this match marked the end of their time together; Zayn retorted that their friendship would persevere. He claimed that he’d beat Owens next week, then become WWE champion at Fastlane.
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