WWE Champions Corner (5-6 Mar): Fastlane or Bus Lane?

charlotte
Source: WWE

We’re edging ever closer to WrestleMania, and some big matches have been pencilled in while others are finally starting to take shape. This week on Raw, we discovered who will challenge The Miz for his Intercontinental Championship at the Show of Shows, and learned which tag team failed to punch their ticket to New Orleans.

Elsewhere on SmackDown, we still have to get past Fastlane, which ironically is more of a horribly inconvenient roadblock on the Road to WrestleMania. Every SmackDown championship is up for grabs at Fastlane so you’d expect to see some serious development this week to make us actually give a damn. There wasn’t any though, which is very unfortunate for fans worldwide.

But this introduction has gone on long enough; let’s get into the detailed analysis already.

 

The Universal Title

January 28th 2018. If that date rings a bell, it’s because January 28th was when the Royal Rumble took place. It’s also the last time we saw the Universal Championship and the title holder on WWE television at the same time. We were in for somewhat of a treat this week, as for the first time in over a month, we got to see the illustrious title on Raw. The champion, however, was still MIA, by which I don’t mean he was a Misfit In Action (brownie points if you understood that reference).

Sporting the Strawberry Jam Championship, Brock Lesnar’s advocate, Paul Heyman, cut a promo on how only appearing once in a blue moon doesn’t make for a bad superstar. He brought up the fact that Roman Reigns’ victory over The Undertaker at last year’s WrestleMania wasn’t marred with cries of ‘But he only shows up once a year’, or ‘The Undertaker is a legend who can fight whenever he feels like it.’ Heyman promised that Lesnar would show up at next week’s broadcast to deal with Reigns, so who knows, we may actually get to see the champ next week.

Then “The Big Dog” came out to meet Heyman in the ring, and menacingly warned the advocate that Lesnar better show up ready for a fight. The time for promos is over, boys!

All in all, it was another good promo by Reigns. He must hate Lesnar in real life, because Reigns’ lambasting of “The Beast” is coming across as very natural. The issue, once again, is that this is Mania season, and cutting a good promo without having your opponent there to bounce off of is meaningless. WWE have been building this match up for three years, but given the lack of interest from the champion and a good portion of the fans, they clearly wasted their time.

 

The Intercontinental Title

After being named joint winners of the prestigious Mizzie for being ‘The Superstar Who is the Best at Patting Themselves on the Back’, Seth Rollins and Finn Bálor came out to interrupt the rest of the Intercontinental Champion’s awesome awards ceremony. The Miz viciously burned the duo (in fact, Rollins’ tights are still covered in flames), and goaded them into accepting a 3-on-2 handicap match against himself and Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel.

All five men put on an enjoyable bout, and the slight dissention between Rollins & Bálor genuinely had me thinking the two were going to start attacking each other. “The A-Lister” added another loss to the record books this week though, as Seth Rollins cheekily tagged himself in to hit the Curb Stomp for the 1, 2, 3. Following the match, GM Kurt Angle officially announced that The Miz will put his Intercontinental Title on the line against “The Architect” and “The Demon” in a triple threat match at WrestleMania.

Despite Miz losing a lot more matches than he should, he’s been on fire as the under- appreciated workhorse of WWE. What’s more, the IC Championship is finally going to be fought for in a WrestleMania-worthy match. The strap is worth more than being on the pre-show or contested for in endless multi-man ladder matches. The Miz is going to be taking some time off soon to be around for his baby, so it’ll be very interesting to see whether Rollins or Bálor will be the one to garner the most momentum going into the Show of Shows.

 

The Raw Women’s Title

Did Raw Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss, have a match on Raw this week? No, of course she didn’t, because they couldn’t find a way of shoehorning her into a six-woman tag match. Instead of competing, Bliss took it upon herself to mock the losing efforts of a wrestler who did get in between the ropes this week, Nia Jax. Don’t be a bully, B.A. Star, am I right?

In a rematch with Asuka, Jax and “The Empress of Tomorrow” put on a better showing than they did at Elimination Chamber, and Jax’s refusal to submit for a gosh- darn lifetime won her the admiration of the crowd. In the training room, “Little Miss Bliss” thought it would be a good idea to remind “The Irresistible Force” that she’s been doing a naff job of winning big matches lately. The segment ended with Nia crying, and I mean really crying, with tears rolling down her cheeks and everything.

After her performance on Raw, there’s no doubt that a face turn is in the works for Jax. Bliss did a great job of twisting the knife deeper into Nia’s back, making herself look like such a horrible, vindictive little so-and-so. And with the rumours that Asuka will be jumping to SmackDown to challenge for Charlotte Flair’s title instead, it means Nia Jax may still find her way onto the WrestleMania card. After all, with Asuka gone, Bliss is going to need a new opponent.

 

The Raw Tag Team Titles

After weeks of building The Revival up to look like legit contenders to the Raw Tag Team Championships, Dash & Dawson finally got a chance to prove their worth in a non-title match against Sheamus & Cesaro. If they won, The Revival would punch their ticket to New Orleans to face the champs once more with the straps on the line.

I’ll just go ahead and say it: they put on a fantastic match that wasn’t worthy of being shown on Raw. The former NXT Tag Team Champions understand tag team wrestling like no other pair in WWE. They work so well together that you’d swear they were born and raised in the middle of the ring. The Bar have been consistently great since their inception, and have been one of the main reasons to watch Raw every single week.

The fact that Vince McMahon threw away a match of this calibre on the middle of Raw is infuriating. There was a decent build towards Dash & Dawson working their way into the title picture, and it should have burned slowly all the way to WrestleMania where both teams could have given us something truly special. Since The Revival lost the match, it now looks like they won’t be challenging for belts at Mania, as per the match stipulation.

Sheamus & Cesaro have now seen off every viable tag team on Raw. There’s still several weeks until the Show of Shows, and WWE have a chance to make things right by finding a way to put Dash & Dawson back into the title scene. If they don’t, we may end up seeing Heath Slater & Rhyno challenge The Bar at Mania at this rate, and that’s not something that even deserves to be on the pre-show.

 

The Cruiserweight Title

It was another brilliant night for the cruiserweights. In the quarter finals this week, Mark Andrews battled Drew Gulak, and Mustafa Ali went one-on-one with Buddy Murphy. If you’re looking for pure wrestling action, 205 Live is definitely the show for you.

Starting things off was the bout between Andrews and Gulak. They put on a fantastic match on Tuesday night, with many notable highlights. Andrews’ scrappy never-say-die attitude saw him pull out a hurricanrana on Gulak from the apron, and a bulldog from the outside of the ring to the inside that defied the laws of physics. The high-flyer just couldn’t beat Gulak’s relentless vicious assault though, and in the end Drew Gulak picked up the submission victory.

If Andrews and Gulak didn’t have you hooked last night, then the main event clash that pitted Ali against Murphy certainly did. Murphy sold Ali’s offence like a champ, landing straight on the top of his head time and time again. The reverse hurricanrana into a tornado DDT was one of the biggest ‘Holy shit! I hope Murphy isn’t dead!’
moments of the match. Mustafa Ali picked up the win with a roll-up, ending Murphy’s hunt for the title. He might be out of the title scene for now, but Buddy Murphy is no doubt going to be one of the standout stars going forward in 205 Live.

If you can’t tell, I’ve been in love with the cruiserweight division ever since Triple H took creative control of 205 Live. Every wrestler has told a story worth watching in their matches, and the Cruiserweight Championship has never felt so important. It’s impossible to pick a tournament winner, but the real winners here are the fans. If you don’t watch 205 Live, you’re missing out on one hell of a show.

 

The WWE Title

Do you know the six-pack challenge for the WWE Championship that absolutely no one is looking forward to? Well, Shane McMahon pretty much gave us the match on SmackDown anyway this past week by making a fatal five-way (minus John Cena). The worst part is AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler were putting on a good match before the cluster-fudging started.

Even though it was a dumb decision to give away 5/6ths of the Fastlane main event away for free, the fatal five-way gave us two things to take away. Firstly, WWE Champion AJ Styles broke up almost every pinfall in the match, indicating he knows how serious his situation is at Fastlane. Secondly, Sami Zayn’s promise to lie down
for Kevin Owens might be a big fib after all. Zayn picked up the win this week by pinning his best friend out of nowhere. He’s made himself look like a threat, not just to the champion, but to Owens as well.

After SmackDown this week, there’s a little more buzz surrounding the title match at Fastlane. AJ Styles is still the obvious winner, but the story on “Kami’s” future has added some intrigue, not enough for me to fully invest in the match, but it’s added something all the same.

 

The US Title

Bobby Roode made his way to the commentary desk for the fight between Randy Orton and Jinder Mahal this week. The love triangle between these three men for the US Championship sure has taken a predictable route.

Most of us have seen enough Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton matches to last us a lifetime, but to give them both credit, it was a perfectly fine bout they put on. Not great, but good enough. The only problem is that having the champion on commentary usually means shenanigans will dictate the outcome of the match, and lo and behold, Roode got involved and “The Modern Day Maharaja” pinned “The Viper.” Now Orton is mad at Roode, and Mahal is parading around the back calling himself the uncrowned United States Champion.

Being able to easily predict matches is the absolute worst. Roode says he wants to be the greatest champion of all time, but he’s not been able to do much due to bad booking. Fastlane will see Roode retain the title because Mahal will interfere, setting up for a triple threat match for the strap at Mania. I had really high hopes for Bobby Roode as champion; I guess the disappointment I’m feeling is my own fault for expecting too much.

 

The SmackDown Women’s Title

SmackDown Women’s Champion, Charlotte Flair, met face to face with her Fastlane opponent in the go-home edition of SmackDown this week. It would’ve been nice to see either woman have a match to pick up some momentum going into the PPV, but they did have an excellent war of words.

Riott claimed that Flair’s claim to being the greatest female competitor in WWE is nothing more than a myth and that she formed the Squad to cause Flair’s world to come tumbling down. “The Queen” wasn’t having any of it though, and told Ruby that the only myth that surrounds her is that she’s been handed opportunities because of her last name. The ladies really put some heart and soul into this promo, and even though most of the build-up has centred on endless six-woman tag matches, Flair and Riott have managed to make the best of the situation and make me care about the outcome of this match.

There’s no way Riott is leaving Fastlane as champion. She’s got a lot of potential to be a star on SmackDown, but Flair already has the aura to carry the title to greater heights at Mania. This is a feud that’s really piqued my interest; it’s such a shame that the outcome is so obvious.

 

The SmackDown Tag Team Titles

Well then, this is awkward. I’ve not really got anything to go off here as the only time dedicated to the SmackDown Tag Title match at Fastlane this week was summarised in a short video package about the history between The Usos and The New Day.

This was a horrible decision on the part of WWE. Not just because I have nothing interesting to write, but because the tag titles have become a serious afterthought. More time was dedicated to setting up a throw-away female tag match that has a horribly weak story behind it.

If you weren’t hyped for the tag title match before, you certainly aren’t hyped for it now.

So that’s it for another week. There were some nice little moments on Raw, even though it infuriated me in equal measure, and SmackDown was just as disappointing as ever. I hope Fastlane shocks us all this Sunday because after this week, I need a good jolt to get me out of my blue brand coma.

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