Royal Rumble: 5 Lesser Known Veterans Who Should Have Surprise Spots

Kevin Nash
Image Source: YOutube

Every few years WWE does a Royal Rumble where it goes out on the nostalgic surprises. We’re not talking about John Cena returning from injury or AJ Styles blowing everyone’s minds. Down the ramp trot a parade of one time midcarders or short lived champions. “Remember me?” they say in turn, taking their time as they approach the ring so as to extend what might be their last major pop for a long time.

The last time this happened in a big way was 2012, with Jim Duggan and Road Dogg joining the entire commentary team as entrants for the Rumble match. We’ll put aside the puzzling implication of Michael Cole entering himself into the match – does he secretly wish he could be a wrestler? Does he still sit at the commentary booth waiting for the perfect moment to win wrestling glory? – and get down to the obvious question: is it time for another nostalgia soaked Royal Rumble?

There are, at time of writing, nine spots left in the 2017 Royal Rumble. Here are five less remembered wrestlers we want to see pop up.

 

1. Val Venis

Val Venis
Image Source:
High Times

The man who nearly had his penis chopped off by an angry Japanese enemy has not yet officially retired, but it’s been more than eight years since we saw the Big Valbowski in a WWE ring. If Venis was before your time let me explain: Val debuted for WWF in 1998, and his gimmick was that he was a porn star. It is perhaps the most brazen act of attitude era booking we still remember. Venis held a bunch of midcard titles during his WWE run, but seeing him return after so many years away would be fascinating to watch. Even if it did offend parents’ groups.

 

2. Lance Storm

Lance Storm
Image Source:
WWE

Can we all be serious for a minute, it’s been far too long since the Perfect Storm graced a WWE ring with his presence. If only to see Storm interact with fellow Canadians Sami Zayn and (former tag team partner) Chris Jericho, this must happen. Storm was a rare beacon of light in the dying embers of WCW. His Team Canada faction was topped only by the most outrageous of Scott Steiner promos. Perhaps he can convince Jericho to turn the US title back into the Canadian Heavyweight Championship.

 

3. Scott Steiner

Scott Steiner

Speaking of Scott Steiner, no one flourished more under the lax supervision of late WCW than Big Poppa Pomp. Like a radio shock jock, when he hit the ring to cut a promo it was sometimes hard to believe he was allowed to say the things he said. Apparently ad libbing promos about sleeping with Diamond Dallas Page’s wife, or questioning the size of Goldberg’s manhood, Steiner was perhaps the most fascinating loose cannon in wrestling history. Nowadays the Big Bad Booty Daddy (his words, not mine) has opened a branch of Shoney’s in Georgia. Given a list of controversies longer than a Bruno Sammartino title run, it’s unlikely we’ll ever see him in WWE again. But it would be fascinating nonetheless.

 

4. Carlito

Carlito
Image Source:
The Inquisitr

Carlito might never have been a brilliant worker, but damn if the guy wasn’t an entertaining midcard heel. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what Rumble cameos are all about? Sure, we’re all tuning in to find out who’s leaving with a world title shot at Wrestlemania. But before that, we want a few moments of goofiness and levity. Give Carlito an apple, push him out from the Gorilla Position and have the guy spit in the face of someone who doesn’t want to be cool. Like Sheamus. Or Braun Strowman. Or Brock Lesnar.

 

5. Sid

Sid
Image Source:
WWE

Known variously as Sid Vicious, Sid Justice, Sycho Sid or simply Sid, the former WWE champion would be a neat crowd-pleaser somewhere in the middle of the Rumble match. Sure, Side never had the most eclectic wrestling arsenal; his qualifications for a main event push were mainly his size and his look. But Sid is also a part of wrestling history. Seeing Sid, a former world champion, perform one final chokeslam would be a neat moment of nostalgia. And the Rumble can always use a bit of nostalgia.

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