On behalf of you wonderful Vultures out there, I took the great chore, the awful burden, the sheer agony of going to see Suicide Girls Blackheart Burlesque at the Electric Ballroom on Saturday.
Ok, who am I kidding, I loved every freakin’ moment of it.
The Suicide Girls set out from the off to prove that this isn’t any typical show. Opening with a jokey “burlesque” routine featuring a feather boa and drastic staggering in heels, they interrupt with some flashy lights, some raging beats and really gorgeous girls…. in onesies.
Although I do feel the name is somewhat of a misnomer, the Blackheart Burlesque is one hell of a fun experience. It should possibly be more accurately called “Suicide Girls Variety Show with semi-naked ladies and a large focus on snappy dance routines” but I admit “Blackheart Burleque” does have a better ring to it and I had such a good time I can forgive the misleading name. There is no true burlesque here, but there is some seriously good times. I feel that there was a huge emphasis on fun right from the off. I have never been to a live show in my entire life where the host has said at the beginning “take as many pictures as you fucking want”. It is this self indulgent exhibitionism that rings through and you know what? The girls love it and we as the audience love it. It’s great.
If you want to know what it’s like I would say this: close your eyes (metaphorically, you need them open to read numb nuts), picture your dream girls, now picture what you think they would be a doing at a slumber party? That’s right, they’re bouncing around, they’re watching Star Wars and oh look they’ve taken their clothes off. Got that image? Now put that on a stage with lighting, hundreds of people watching and you’ve got Blackheart Burlesque.
As I’ve said, I would venture to say this isn’t true Burlesque (although I am admittedly not an expert on the subject) but the show was filled with booty popping dance routines, playing with fire and even a song. I shan’t list everything, why ruin it? But I will indulge you with some of my favourite highlights. Quite early on we were treated to one of the girls dressed as Lara Croft and dancing with a fire hoop. I mean I don’t know about you lot, but Lara Croft is pretty darn sexy to begin with. She has the strong independent woman vibe and it’s really attractive. But believe me, it gets more attractive when she’s wearing only panties, tape on her nipples and playing with fire.
This show knows that it’s audience loves it’s geeky popular culture. You know what I would say summarises this? She walks on stage. She’s wearing orange. Then it kicks in..
” I want to be the very best, like no one ever was…”
Yes. That’s right ladies and gents. I watched an incredibly attractive woman strip to the pokemon theme tune. It happened. I saw it. It was not just a sordid wet dream (although I might be revisiting this memory in bed for quite some while).
Another memorable point was their rendition of The Little Mermaid‘s “A Part of Your World“. The twist being she doesn’t just want to walk and run, she wants a.. oh what’s that word again? Right. Twat. It’s beautiful. Hilarious. Pretty darn clever. Again I have to mention how much fun these girls are having, the shout at the end “do you want to see my titties?” Was said in such a wondrously joyous way that I kind of wanted to hug the people around me like “YAY, we’re all going to enjoy titties, isn’t this wonderful?”
Blackheart Burlesque is geeky, sexy and somewhat bizarre. I never thought I would see semi-naked girls with monkey heads dancing on a stage but that is exactly what I watched in their tribute to Planet of the Apes. Throwing in the music from The Simpsons musical version was a fantastic touch, I will be singing “You finally made a monkey out of me” for some time. They finished off their show with a tribute to Star Wars (of course) and I have to say I really am a sucker for a woman in a stormtrooper helmet. I truly am.
I honestly feel that this show is a true tour de force for sex positivity. There are so many people who would argue that sex work is demeaning but these are people who embrace their sexuality, who really enjoy it and they invite us to enjoy it too. It’s wonderful and breath taking to see so many people come (cum?) together in celebration of it.
The only downsides I could think of was that I’m not entirely sure the venue was appropriate for the sort of show. If you’re going to do seating, you at the very least need a fair amount of banking. I also think that it would work better in a more intimate setting and yes, as far as London venues go, the Electric Ballroom is fairly intimate, but I do honestly feel it would work better in a cabaret style venue. However this would mean less bums on seats and probably a heftier priced ticket so it is a decision I can fully respect.
All in all I had a great time and if you like fun evenings with geeky references and topless ladies then this is definitely for you.
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