‘Just Cause 3’ Puns Cause Soaring Divorce Rates

Just Cause 3
Just Cause 3

A world of embattled wives have finally had enough of their husbands following the recent release of Just Cause 3 and all of the puns that came with it, creating a massive increase in divorce figures of 68% in just the two days since its launch.

In light of how the game’s title can be referred to as ‘just cos’, husbands have taken any opportunity they can to ask for Just Cause 3 for Christmas ‘just cos’ they can. This has caused women to, understandably, “rappel” out of marriages as soon as they can.

Worse still, domestic explosions are also on the rise with the game’s influence causing gamers to tether cats to the microwave ‘just cos’. Other examples of the game’s controversial impact include a man in Devon tethering his daughter’s Barbie to a prison, a Glasgow male tethering a car to a deep fat fryer and David Cameron tethering a pig’s head to his lower area.

One of the wives affected by the game, Donna McDonald, recently spoke to her local press about the issue: “I had just had enough. I thought we had moved on. When Fallout 4 came out and I didn’t see him for weeks, he simply said that he was sorry that we had ‘fallen out’ and that he was going to turn our bed ‘into a wasteland’ once he was done playing.”

“I only stayed with him for the kids. When he started tethering them to the dog and throwing them on the trampoline, I started to think he might not be the man for me. His puns about Just Cause 3‘s title, that he didn’t understand was more about overthrowing an unjust government by any means necessary rather than blowing up small villages for the shits and gigs, were the final straw.”

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