Isle of Wight Tells David Hoare to “Shut His Dirty, Hoarish Mouth”

Ofsted chairman David Hoare has been receiving a lot of flack after recently making some very inflammatory remarks about the Isle of Wight, calling it a “ghetto” and claiming that it suffers from “inbreeding”.

“I have a house overlooking the Isle of Wight and often over a dinner party, someone will ask ‘How is education?’” he said from atop his pedestal, without a hint of self-awareness in his voice, “we’re living seven miles away from the second worst local authority when it comes to secondary education and the third worst when it comes to primary education.”

“They think of it as holiday land. But it is shocking. It’s a ghetto; there has been inbreeding.”

The citizens of the Isle of Wight have been quick to rebuke Mr. Hoare’s claims, asking for the ex-city banker to “shut his dirty, Hoarish mouth”.

David Hoare

We spoke to one local, Jake Andrews of Ventnor, who condemned Hoare’s lack of common sense.

“I think Mr. Hoare is a bit of an arsehole, really. It’s only Chale that’s like that. Don’t tar us all with the same brush,” he said.

“Perhaps education statistics wouldn’t be so bad for the island if he wasn’t spending his time spreading bollocks at conferences and actually doing his job instead.”

“Did you know we had The Rolling Stones here one year?”

Ofsted have been quick to distance themselves from Hoare following the outrage with a recent statement to press saying: “Who? We don’t fucking know him, mate.”

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