Here’s The Xbox Series X Compared To My Mum’s Weird French Bulldog Tat

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Xbox Series X
Unfortunately, my massive Minecraft block head is still bigger.

Size comparisons have become big business when it comes to new consoles, with major outlets publishing videos before launch of the Xbox Series X and PS5 compared to other consoles. Both next-gen consoles are chonky boys, so there’s a lot of size to compare in all honesty.

We here at Cultured Vultures like to do things a little bit differently, so instead of comparing it to other consoles, I’ve decided to go about it a little bit differently. Here’s the Xbox Series X compared in size to a bunch of weird French Bulldog tat that my mum owns.


First, The Unboxing

The Xbox Series X is a big lad, so naturally the box it came in is even bigger. That being said, it’s a very shiny and nice box. As far as boxes go, it gets 6 Solid Snakes out of 5, so you know that’s a good seal of approval for a box.

Xbox Series X

Xbox Series X
The inside is just as shiny too.

As for the console itself, it looks as great as a big black obelisk can look. That might sound harsh, but it’s genuinely simple but effective design. I like it a lot, but my only gripe with it is that it attracts fingerprints. Or maybe I just have greasy gamer fingers.

It’s probably the latter.

Xbox Series X
Here’s the controller too.


Get To The Tat

Alright, so there’s a bunch of tat around the house to compare it to, so let’s get started. First things first, a sequined cushion that features a personalised picture of Monty, the resident house terror. As you can see, the pillow is taller and wider, but the Xbox Series X is thicker.

Xbox Series X
Cute, but deadly.

Next up is this thing. Honestly, I’m not sure what the hell it is, but my best guesses are either a piggy bank or a cookie jar. The head comes off, I know that much. Leave your guess in the comments if you like. Either way, the Xbox Series X is a bigger boy than the porcelain good boy.

Xbox Series X

After that, it was time to compare the Series X to a fluffy boy, so we found this thing downstairs. We reckon it’s meant to be a doorstop as the body is weirdly heavy. It’s like there’s a metal pipe in the middle, but fluff covering it. Size-wise, it’d be more comparable if the Xbox was lying down, but I forgot I could do that until writing this article. I’m smart, honest.

Xbox Series X
I think that’s paint on the eyelid. I hope it is, anyway.


A Quick Break

Who knew that performing an Xbox Series X photoshoot was hungry work? After taking a few pictures, I decided to grab a quick snack, but of course, that just provided an opportunity for even more pictures. For your amusement, here’s the Xbox Series X next to a pack of 6 Festive Bakewells, which are absolutely amazing. The Xbox Series X is way bigger, but now I just want an Xbox Series X sized box of Festive Bakewells. Mr. Kipling, make it happen.

Xbox Series X
Here’s the mini fridge in an actual kitchen.


The Finale

For the final picture, I wanted to compare the Xbox Series X to one of my mum’s actual French Bulldogs, Bella and Monty. Unfortunately, production was halted due to a “fracas” on set, as one of the dogs attempted to cock its leg on the Xbox. Honestly, I don’t want to become the first person in the world to have a dog piss on their Xbox Series X, so that idea was quickly shelved.

Instead, I bring you something that is completely cursed. Found in a market in Liverpool towards the end of last year (around the time COVID first appeared, so I think it’s literally cursed), here’s French Bulldog Buddha.

Xbox Series X
I apologise for your nightmares.

So there you have it. The Xbox Series X is pretty big. Has your console turned up today? Let us know in the comments below.

READ MORE: Xbox Series X | S: How Game Sharing Works On The New Consoles

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