Everton to Sign Young Starlet Hony Tibbert for £13.8 Million

Hony Tibbert

We speculated about it in this gripping exposé, but now it looks like The Toffees might actually get the man they have been tracking all summer long. Hony Tibbert will soon become an Everton player and is likely to wear the Mersey blue for the first Premier League game of the season against Tottenham Hotspur.

Tibbert, an exciting prospect known for his blistering pace and ball control, will become the club’s third most expensive player for a fee of £13.8 million, ousting Oumar Niasse’s £13.5 million fee into fourth pace. It is believed that his current club, Sunday league’s The Liverpool Arms, will finally be able to afford to fix the pub toilets.

Speaking of the deal, 18-year old Tibbert was quoted as saying:

“I am delighted to be finally signing for Everton, a team I grew up supporting. I hope the fans are as happy for me to be here as I am! I aim to keep up my goalscoring streak of 472 going.”

However, the signing has raised a few eyebrows in some corners. Many claim that Hony Tibbert is in fact ex-player Tony Hibbert wearing a moustache disguise. The talk all started when YouTube footage showed Hony falling over five times when trying to control one ball and looking like an emaciated Tom Selleck in the process.

Everton manager Ronald Koeman was quick to dismiss the allegations:

“He’s only 18, albeit a Scouse 18, and so if that is his age he’s still got a good few years ahead of him.”

A new signing will please suffering Evertonians who have had an arid summer of transfer activity to get excited about so far. Tibbert will be the fourth signing of the window for the Liverpool club, following the acquisitions of Idrissa Gueye, Maarten Stekelenburg, and Alessandro Pistone on a free transfer.

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