Remember back when superhero movies weren’t a big thing? Those were the days when our nerd minds could only ever imagine obscure supporting characters in comics as series regulars on prime time TV. That’s what it’s like for video games these days.
But imagine, if you will, video game adaptations making big bucks at the box office. One day, far from now, people will become bored of the Avengers, and the movie studios will be searching round desperately looking for something to satiate their thirst for cash.
If you’re listening, Disney, Warner Brothers or Fox, here’s a few suggestions. Send the cheque in the post.
Lord of the Rings is long gone, and for a while the Hobbit trilogy filled that epic fantasy itch we all had. But now, with less and less of Tolkien’s work left to adapt, it might be time to find a new swords and sorcery world to explore.
Imagine, if you will, Oblivion as an epic three part saga full of demons and lizard people. You could even get Sean Bean to reprise his voice role from the game and, well…is it even a spoiler to say what happens to his character at this point?
They’re already making Warcraft into a blockbuster, so why shouldn’t Tamriel get the Middle-Earth treatment?
Who would direct: Peter Jackson (after six movies he’s proved he knows how to make this sort of thing).
This already feels like kind of a movie when you play it. More specifically, playing Just Cause 2 felt to me like the video game equivalent of a 90s Steven Seagal or Jean Claude Van Dam vehicle. But ramped up to eleven.
Scenery chewing villains? Check. Exotic locations that the hero blows up? Check. The script wouldn’t even have to be that good. A few decently directed action scenes and plenty of explosions and you’re on to a winner.
Who would play the hero: Antonio Banderes.
Who would direct: Simon West (the director of Con Air, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and The Expendables 2 could film this in his sleep).
Never heard of Space Quest? Then you’re clearly not up on your 80s/90s niche point and click adventure games. 16 bits not enough for you?
Space Quest follows the adventures of oblivious everyman Roger Wilko, who begins his adventuring as the lowly janitor of a star ship. Wilko has many adventures across the galaxy, but comes out the other end just as incompetent as when he started. A Space Quest film could pitch itself somewhere between Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Who would play the hero: Nathan Fillion (hamming it up)
Who would direct: Edgar Wright.
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